There was a thief in my house
He crept in late in the night
He let his flame run wild
Ate my desk, my chairs
Danced on our bed when
He let his flame run wild

My heart's ablaze
Given from a late night thief
Please! Call 9-1-1!
This flame just brings grief
Bring Firemen!
This smoke pollutes air
He let that flame run wild
Now I'm just ash

Bury me deep but
My heart still burns
Fetch my love, let him see

Let him see his heart burn like mine
Yet he'll walk away, feeling fine
Late night thief, my love, killed me.

I've tasted jealously before.
Jealousy for objects,
but never for a person.
It's a sickening taste,
and a nauseating smell,
but it fills me.
This jealously pools in my eyes
and rolls down my cheeks
in fat green drops.
And I can feel it -
bubbling angrily inside me.
It rises and falls like the tide
It churns and thrashes about
like a wave during a storm
or a wild beast -
it wants to be released onto her.
And the one thought that races through my mind:
HOW DARE SHE.
How Dare She..
how dare she...
As long as she is about,
my senses are nothing but useless.
Even when she is gone,
the thought of her angers a beast inside me.
And all I can think of is
*how
dare
she

I was no more than a small girl,
When a cat wondered to my front porch step.
A cat with jet black fur and
eyes like melted chocolate --
He was mystifying, interieging,
and I wanted him for my own.

I saved enough money so that:
Everyday, I put food out for him.
Everyday, I brought him toys to play with.
Everyday, we could talk for hours --
All on my front porch step.

One day, my dark eyed beauty spotted another.
She gave him better food.
She gave him fancy toys.
She offered more attention.
One day, he didn't come to my front porch step.

He was not mine to keep, so
I could not demand him back.
That day my mother taught me something:
"If you love something, let it go.
If it comes back, it was meant to be."

But he never came back.
He left me alone,
Alone on my front porch step.

I learned that day that love is selfish.
It demanded that I exclude myself to all but one.
I learned that love is cruel.
It's a drug that we're all addicted to.
I cried, all alone on my front porch step.

Beautiful Light,
why do you torture me
with your stunning Essence?

Your small towers
of scarlet,
of apricot,
of violet.

Your movements are a
completely different language to me.

The shadows you cast
flicker in the dimming light of hope.

I come to you
for warmth,
for strength,
for a smile.

The way you shine,
the way you glow,
the way you seem to fade
only to reappear.

Your smiles --
so strange,
so captivating,
so heartbreaking,
pull me closer --
pull me closer to
an unbearable pain.

The way you made me laugh --
so pure,
so innocent,
so lovely.

The way you said goodbye --
so casual,
so naive,
so sure.
Hoping, knowing,
we would meet again soon.

You captivate me,
you endanger me,
I thought you loved me?

My Beautiful Light,
why?
Why do you torture me
with your stunning Essence?

My heart hangs hellaciously,
swinging on sickened strings,
bleeding blackened blood and
singing sad songs to itself.
It's a new creature,
a freshly feathered phoenix,
the hatred hardening the heart
until the blackened blood
drips and dries
to reveal an
opaque obsidian coat --
a thing of great omnipotent and omniscient.

I thought we could run
where love could save us.
I thought we could hide
where lights wouldn't chase us.
I was wrong.
What a glorious fall we had.
It was a tedious climb to the top,
but a nearly effortless drop.
What a glorious fall we had!
But how suddenly we came to a stop.

I'm breathing you in,
when I want you out.
On me, you're a tear gas --
choking me; unable to shout.
You're with me long after the battle.
What a glorious fall we had.
It was a tedious climb to the top,
but, oh, what a nearly effortless drop.
What a glorious fall we had!
But how suddenly we came to a stop.

I'm trying to erase you, but
you're a drum
that beats loud and clear.
Even with miles to overcome,
I can hear your booming beat.
What a glorious fall we had.
It was a tedious climb to the top,
but, oh, what an effortless drop!
What a glorious fall we had,
but how suddenly we came to a stop.

and when the sun rises,
a red sky
a red sun
shining red rays
on the rivers of blood that scatter
the field of delicate flowers.
and bodies litter the grass
showered in red dawnlight
like drops of rain on dry concrete.
and we're there - you and me  
we're under the pile,
near the bottom,
because we were the first to fall.

How can I sleep?
Your face keeps
Itself on my eyelids.
Your voice keeps
calling, screaming, my name.
Your smell keeps
Suffocating my sleep.
Your warmth keeps
Destroying my comfort
Our memories
keep me from sleep.
Our actions
keep me from rest.
Our words
keep me from peace.
You keep haunting me,
after you left me to cry
after I pushed you away.
How can I sleep?

i brought you
to my world
let you in
so you can
make your mark
i want to
recall you
Forever

please take this
a paintbrush
and help me
complete me

yours on mine
hands stacked
synchronized
to create
something new

one large stroke
and spectrums
arch the skies
where we lay
together
in the field
of flowers

let me sleep
on your arm
as we watch
the stars shine
and you say
*if only
they could shine
a little
bit brighter

if only
they could shine
a little
bit brighter

there is nothing
wrong with the stars
and how they shine
like a dozen
scattered diamonds

i want to
change the stars
so that they
shine brightest*

but i like them
the way they are
he took the brush
and he started
to dot the sky
with bitter lies

i scream for halt
he doesnt stop
destroying stars
is like killing
a hope held dear

in one swift movement
ive casted you out
of my secret world
and i want to think
that youre out somewhere
all cold and alone
in reality
you are probably
fine

i walk all alone
in my secret world
everywhere i turn
memories of you
walk behind me like
ghosts

you are the black line
that leaves the rainbow
stained

you left dead flowers
where we once watched the
stars

you were not content
with leaving your mark
you tried to change me
all i can ask is
why

i guess im not bright
enough to be your
star

You were in my dream last night
of course you were
because my dreams are the only place where you're mine.
A smile and a touch is all it takes,
and I'm head over heals in love again.
A playful shove and laugh,
and we're alone in the world, and I'm not scared.
A pair of fluttering eyelids and a harsh alarm
and I'm back to reality
back to war
back to winter
back to a world without *I'm sorry.