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 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
I jumped in wanting to swim across.
He dove in to simply enjoy the water.
I had always been afraid of drowning --
of letting the water in
even when he said he's save me.

We pulled at each other like tug 'o war.
I wanted to swim to shore --
back before we jumped in.
He begged me to stay --
But I couldn't.

I swam across and to the shore --
But he still held my cold, lifeless heart above the water
as if it would disintegrate with a single drop.
I told him to stop being a fool and come forget the water --
But he wouldn't.

I wanted to jump in again --
to possibly rescue him like he promised he'd do for me --
but people held me to words spoken in drenched clothing --
I'm never doing that again
So I shouldn't...
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
we see eachother in our reflections
but we're just looking at broken mirrors
thinking we're a perfect match.

we're two fools dancing around eachother like
we own the grandest castle
thinking that nothing can touch us.

we flash images at eachother like
broken television boxes
thinking we know eachother's story.

we burn holes in eachother like
cigarettes on old parchment
thinking that we're helping.

we sit and cry under the covers
like two children with broken toys
hoping we still love eathother.

we dream of eachother like
the living mourning over the dead
thinking that the other is gone.

we're connected to eachother like
two sewn pieces of cloth
thinking we're a million miles apart.

we want to forget eachother like
a bad dream
thinking we were nothing but evil.

we make eachother bleed like
fresh purple hearted war veterans
thinking that we can rip the thread of the past.

we're distant to each other like
two strangers on a crowded street
hoping the scars don't show.
Yes... I know "eachother" is two words...
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
Talk about me not to me
it's not like I can hear you.
No, please, don't let me stop your rant.
Carry on with how I'm such a ***** --
how I'm heartless and cruel --
Please tell them all,
I wouldn't want to love, anyway --
Yes, that's right.
Why would I want love?
Why would I want to feel the strong embrace of a man,
to know I'm safe and wanted,
to feel blush soil my pale complexion...?
Why would I deserve that?
Who could possibly love me
after all you've told them?
I guess I should thank you.
Now I won't hurt anyone --
won't hurt myself anymore.
I'll never have to cry again --
for joy or sadness.
So, thank you for turning me numb --
I wouldn't want it any other way.
A bit old, so I touched it up a bit.
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
Poetry is the art,
Of word selection.
It is the beautiful combination
Of syllables, rhymes, colors, and images.
A place where a description
Consists of few words.

In that sense,
I hope that one day,
The art of poetry that will depict me will be
Indescribable.
I wish for one day, to not be called
Beautiful
Pretty
Adorable or
Kind.
But, instead, I want to be
Indescribable.
"No one adjective can describe you, so you're
Indescribable.
You're everything: from beauty to fierce, and yet,
That doesn't seem enough. You are, love,
Indescribable."
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
I've lost myself in the woods ---
Again.
But, don't worry, I have a lantern.
The Light is weak, broken, and shaken
against the four walls of
Darkness that claws at me.

There's a voice on my left,
sweet as syrup and smooth as silk,
it says things I've longed to hear.
But, at the same time,
There's a voice on my right,
painful as a potent poison and raw as rigid razors,
it says things I don't want to hear.
But is it the angel that whispers
sweet nothings
or is it the devil?
Should I layer myself like a grain of sand in an oyster
or should I dive, head first, into the cold water?

One of the voices whispers of a path:
A nice one full of warmth and love.
I turn to look, but before I can see,
I'm pulled down this path, struggling to breath
and trying to break away from needy hands.
In the struggle, I've dropped the lantern.
But, that's okay.
It's warm here, I guess.
But, it's becoming too much.
Wait, what's that? My lantern.
Small rays of light fight against claws to find me.
It's harder than I thought, picking the lantern up again ---
and finally seeing again.
This isn't what I was told.
This isn't what I wanted.
There isn't love here, only lies.

And now, another voice whispers to me,
sweet and angelic.
It must be an angel, to be so kind and gentle.
My right shoulder is in pain, a horde of
screaming people, calling me to reality.
But, I've wanted this path for so long,
dreamed of this way before I even knew it.
How can I turn that away when it is teasing at my
fingertips?
Tell me.
Please, I want to know.
Are you the devil in disguise
Or an angel undercover?
If I reach out, will I be burned?

The lantern is gone now, dropped during the struggle.
I think I know where I'm going, but without light,
I'm ignorant.
I will trip in these woods, this I'm sure of.
I've been caught on branches, and cut by thorns.
I've run from wolves, and have been bitted by bears.
I want to find my way.
I want to find the light, in the ever changing world of dark.
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
Please, good monsieur,
do excuse my foul opinion.
I'm so terribly sorry that my
thoughts aren't what you expected.
Next time, I'll learn to hush my
silly
creative
lively
intelligent
wondering
mind, just to spare your feelings.
Because, it does really matter
that you think you can control me,
and, oh good monsieur;
how I live to please.

But really, I don't care.
This is my thought,
my feeling,
my mind.
And, I'm so sorry good monsieur, but
You didn't get an invitation.
So please, go find another girl to saddle,
this one will never be tamed.
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
We all travel paths, alone, until we are intersected.
Some paths are wide enough for several people to follow,
Others are a tightrope that you have to balance.
There are roads that loop in circles, never seeming to end,
But a number of trails do not divulge from forward.
And every time a path is crossed, you meet someone new.
And, like every thing, you have a choice.

It's customary to give a piece of yourself away.
It's just a small piece, a very very small cut from your cake,
What difference will it make?
So what if all you say is:
"I love you."
Or you even give away a kiss, or something greater?
What difference will it make?

Every time you give a piece away,
That's a little less of you left for someone more important.
(That's the difference it makes.)
Someone more important than that ex-boyfriend or lost friend,
Or maybe not? Their importance in your life is up to you.
That makes this your choice.
It's up to you whether they are worthy.
This is your soul you're giving away.

Your path will continue, even if they don't choose to follow.
It goes on, sunrise to set, and throughout the night.
Mornings with cotton candy skies, and avian lullabies.
Evenings with fire clouds.
Nights with diamonds.
Don't give yourself all away at once: you'll never see what comes next.
Your path will continue, continue to be interrupted by people.
Good people with good intentions;
Devils with Angelic facades.
How much you give them is up to you,
This is your path, and your choice.
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
I don't know what to feel.
Is this heartbreak?
And how can that be,
if I didn't know my heart beat for him?
Is this jealousy?
And how can that be,
if his heart wasn't mind to keep?
I can feel my heart dying,
encrusting itself in a green stone,
slowly,
slowly,
jaded,
until it stops beating forever.
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
A name.                         A calling.
A way of life. A boom of   thunder after lightning.
A lost piece of ash drifting over an open flame. A bottled
emotion in the sea of tears: love. It’s a time bomb, set by two
people. It’s a deadly poison, slipped into each other’s
drinks. It’s an oasis in the dry, dry, desert. It’s a feast
for the famished people. It’s the blood in your
veins and the tears in your eyes. It’s a
burning flame. It’s a flash of
lightning. A way of life.
A calling. A name.
*love.
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
I bid thee welcome to the masquerade!
T’is a place in which we dance circles around each other,
Dawning a facade.
We dodge, turn, and promenade
All to elude one another
All to trick the other into fraud.
And yet, we still dance.

Fanciful gowns, embroidered in gold!
Shined shoes and a powered nose,
Hidden by thy mask.
Thy game is defunct and old
T’is all concealed by magnificent clothes!
Do not scrape the skin, but in its glow thy must bask.
Be thy wary not to trip on thy skirts.

Secret rendezvous down a dark rue!
A place where a white lie springs
Onto thy heart’s soft flesh - slashed.
"I love you!"
A heart beat faster than the hummingbird's wings.
"Nah, good woman, t’was a feeling long surpassed."
A heart with no beat, imploded and crumbling.

I bid thee adieu from the masquerade!
T'was a place where we danced circles around each other,
And shall closet our facade.
We have dodged, turned, and walked our promenade
All to elude one another
All to trick the other into fraud.
And yet, thy mask never truly retires.
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
One Rose.
One Rose is beautiful, special, unique.

One bouquet.
One bouquet is overwhelming, unoriginal, common.

One Rose.
One Rose that has been nursed from a seed, watched grow, and given at the perfect time.

One bouquet.
One bouquet that was hastily picked, paid for, and given out of fit.

One Rose.
One Rose is all a person truly needs.

One bouquet.
One bouquet if you haven't found your Rose just yet.
 Feb 2014
Carsyn Smith
Love is a tricky thing.
It can be received, but not given.
It can be lent, and never returned.
You are what you love, not who loves you.

It's a great relief to hear:
you are what you love, not who loves you
Someone else's emotions towards you
doesn't define you.
Its how you feel and
how you act
that really matters.

And yes, you may love
the wrong thing then,
but that's not now.
So that doesn't define
your future!
It's domain is the past.
You must let it rule there,
or else it will
invade your future.
You are what you love, not who loves you.

Love life.
Love happiness.
Love the smell of summer rain.
Love the feel of soft grass.
Love the chill of snow and
the heat of the sun.
Charish what you love.
Charish you.
*You are what you love, not who loves you.
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