**** your flowery words
they, just like you,
don't mean ****.

you claim i put the demon inside you
but how could i accomplish
such a horrific feat
when I couldn't even string
a simple sentence together.
I cried in your arms for help
praised your beauty, intelligence, determination
gave all of it to you, Ryan
lost myself trying to fix you
I made myself less to fit you
sat there while you told me
i was less than I am
because arguing was impossible
I forgave you for things
i never should have
i apologized for things
i never should have

****, you're right
I loved you so much,
I let you become
a monster

You don’t treat me like I deserve.
you don’t treat you like you deserve.
you don’t know who you are anymore.
you defended a girl who used you.
you defended a girl who doesn’t give a ****
you lost a woman who was down for you.
then attacked her for trying to cope
when was the last time you had ****** relations with him

you don’t treat me like i deserve
you don’t treat you like you deserve
I don’t know who you are anymore.
you attack me for things I did to heal.
you resent me for things I don’t remember
you blame me for things I can’t take ownership of
everything is my fault.
whose fault is it? the pink power ranger?

a table is thrown.
you’re recording this all.
you’re taunting me.

now ill admit it, I said some ****.
and the worst part of it all..
you didn’t even get it.
You don’t understand anything I’m going through
so you constantly **** on me.
all I wanted was to pull something good out
from the **** show that you rained down on us
you are a ****. a ******* ****.

I slapped you.
you’re recording this still
you’re taunting me.

when I said you weren’t worth it
i ******* meant it

And after everything
Even with my
Loving heart
I would not accept
Any ******* apology
From the boy
Who broke my
Feeble heart
Then continued
Breaking the remaining
Shards into nothing

at the end of the day
all i ever wanted
was an apology
for the ****
you drug me through

I used to ask myself
compulsivly if I had
moved on
and whether or not
any of this was worth
the pain and work

The answer,
I moved on when you
****** my friend.
nothing I did, you deserved
none of it was worth it
i drug myself through ****
only to have you,
determined to destroy,
ruin everything we ever were

I used to put our foreheads together just to feel our souls joyfully connect.
I’d stroke your eyebrows and your perfect cheek bones.
And your eyes. Your right one just droopier than the other
id kiss their lids, thanking them for their loving gaze.
I used to rub my fingers through your soft peachy hairs.
I’d give it a playful tug when it got a little longer and frizzy.
When we drove, I loved to stare at your beauty while I just rubbed your head, and thought about how perfect forever with you sounded.
I used to crawl into our bed after a long day with the blessing of being able to sleep next to you.
Naked, our bodies grew fonder and fonder of each other with each passing day.
I loved it when you would lay your worried head on my chest. Strong and independent, but still my babe, my love, my all of it.