It would be easy
to turn my pain
and loneliness
into the rage
of an ageless
beast,

to become faceless
in this useless
race to achieve
that which I
do not need.

It would be easy
to let go of
the search for peace
and become
part of the disease
that afflicts
all of these
silly sheep.

It wouldn’t
take much
to hit the clutch
release the brakes
and pass a hundred
miles plus
at the speed of
danger.

But all of that anger
just stirs up dust
and damages the stuff
I didn’t even really want.

So, I’ll let
the users
get used
and let the bruisers
get bruised.

Today is my recovery day
and it is a day well spent.

By autumn lakes,
where water wears
nature’s fogging breathes
as white mists
roll over its
beautiful body,

when the cold air
catches spectral gasses
that pass
soft awestruck lips,

where sweet lovers
meet and sit
on the nearest bench
holding hands,
making grand plans,
and leaving to walk
the path laden
with many
multicolored leaves,

where water reflects
the waving limbs
and falling foliage
that finds itself
floating down
and eventually
disappearing,

where daydreams end
and strangers are
forced to return
once again
to the world
they have been
struggling in,
leaving tranquility
to become
a glimmering memory
in the sorely exhausting
work week.

The soft white
swirling flesh,
made of light,
made to divest
the deep darkness
that pulses
beneath your chest.

The simple sparkle,
the slipping droplet
that falls off of this
darling flower
of free association.

The tender yearling
licking salt,
seeking some
simple sating
of its primal hunger.

The placid pool,
of poorly lit
sitting liquid,
until it is
pierced by
something
falling from
the night sky,
and its surface
succumbs
to the chaos of
constant ripples.

I dip my toe
in a spot
I do not know
searching for
some inspiration,

and this is all
that I get
in for looking
for it.

A loser’s lament
left in contempt
for all of the
wasted time I spent

lover’s issues,
cause I was misused
by the good girls
who dig bad dudes.

What a tragedy
to make a
jealous *** of me
as I weep grievously.

Then I bend
to anger’s end,
to rise and defend
with my tragic
ego’s armament.

But, I don’t
go on a
beer binge
that would make
Bacchus cringe.

Instead, I trend
towards
self-improvement,
take this pain and frustration
and use it
to make myself better.

I am a fully immersive
life size interactive
collections of facts
and flesh that
takes and gives back
what I receive
and who I long to be.

Expanding from myself
I am an amorphous blob of
compassion clothed in love,

a ray of light in many directions
speeding from the center
of my being for stranger’s inspection
as I generate radio waves
of repeated humanity,

faster than the speed of electricity
I electrify everyone before me
because despite my taste for solitude
I could never be boring.

I’d like to exchange
this deranged life
for a little change.

I need a break
from the mundane
repetitive existence
that I have crafted
for my own comfort.

The roads repeat
and what I see
is a sour echo
chasing me.

But now I know
to be free I need
to move out and on,
take my bags
like a traveling man
running while I can
cause this beautiful loser
is checking out.

There is always a little doubt
but I am figuring
the small stuff out,
I’m building a bridge
to a better me,
so, wait and see.

Ten years later,
sad to say
despite the burst
of brilliant word play
I am still stuck,
despite the bravado
and desire to get up and go
I am still here.

So, what do I know.

Till the end of infinity,
all things
above and below,
and the
cosmic calamities
like collapsing black holes
that swallow
everything
we have ever known.

Till super solar flares
incinerate
all of the life
down here
on our floating sphere,
which let’s be clear
is more oblong.

Till, the end of
space time
when all things
cease to exist
and there will be
no one left to miss
the poetry of this
pathetic fool.

Semi-aquatic,
silver shimmering,
a swimming body
wet and exotic,

fluid motions
flying in
the pure parts
of our ocean,

she could have been
mermaid, kin
to lesser fisher men,

water friction
pulling her hair
like the wind
forcing each strand
to fall back
as she
flows forwards
faster than the *******
trying to entrap her,
and capture her rapture,

but hazel eyes,
long chestnut hair,
and limber limbs
do not tarry here.
They disappear
beneath the cresting wave.

She is saved,
but her pursuers
are washed away.

She is free to play
as death takes
those hunters
to a watery grave.

Stiff shouldered
older
bulldozer
of a man,
holds the embers
of distant joys
that he still remembers.

Hidden jewels
that once sparkled
are now blemished,
could be polished
but the remembrance
wouldn’t equal
past reality.

Those glory days
of lazy waste
when he would play
and devastate
the landscape
with dirt tracks
and rough houses.

These moments
are everything
he wants
in a daydream,
but the harsh rays
of modern days
forces him
to remain awake.

He is wiser now,
but longs for
the innocence
of youth
unexplored,
when he was
ignorant
of the imminent
end of all of it.

So, as time takes
his fellow well-aged
middlemen
on a fool’s errand
straight to the edge
of eternity’s
black abyss,
he looks back at this
and slips into the void.

Nostalgia,
the pain in my ***
blast from my past
that passes
painful
memory lapses
of gut reactions,

sorrowful reflections
of never was
lost connections
and decisions
that I long to
unmake.

Fantasies
take
me
back to those
distorted memories
as I recall
fogs of vagaries
and what if
possibilities
that were never
ever really real.

Life was
time served because
everyone he knew
was struggling
too make due
with the ignorance
their existence
had been imbued
with.

A state of jail like isolation
when he was facing
a stupid population
with no ability to
think or adapt to
new information.

Not a prisoner
in his mind
he would
summon her,
the dark beautiful
summer dancer,
an illusion
to calm the pain
and confusion.

In states
of sick delirium
his cage could not
define or confine him
as he flew to
a mental magisterium.

Lying therein sharing
a dream space
with his imaginary queen
he would listen to her sing
forgetting everything.

To bad and sad to say
that one cannot stay
in such elevated space
without losing touch with
the real world.
So, his mind lapsed
and passed the last
moments of his mentally
bruised and blistered existence,
finally happy in another reality.