Picasso had it right, you know...
there is no such thing as perfect.
Yet, there is gratitude in the flaw;
there is hope in the falsehood.

She appeared to me
as the manifestation of a fantasy.
I thought that
the perfection within her
blossomed her appearance as symmetry.

The madness
of my obsession cemented
upon her scent.
The string instrument
vibrations of my heart so nuanced,
so rare, yet, so familiar a dream as to be recollections
of heaven.
If she, living, tastes like love,
do delicious pastries
taste like death

The more I knew of her,
the less I knew
pain,
until...

From our love,
so robust in its ripeness,
time gormlessly gorged upon us,
and we decayed,
like seeds in the apple
trapped and never to be free.

It was then that I saw her flaws
and it seemed they were "real"
The distortions grew numerous
and each beauty lost appeal,
peeling away to slowly reveal
the scars that Frankenstein
couldst never, ever heal,
for his monster's myriad scars
are the pillars of its humanity...

Picasso measured the conflicted angles,
and saw perfection would rob them of life.
It is the awkward jostling of misshapen things
that gives them movement, as they ever so try to
shift into place, but if they were to do so,
they would be as the yonder rock,
or the caged boiling soup
of ancient fuel all
perfection
will
be
...

So
I let her go;
I freed myself of
the death I refused to
become. And when she broke,
I told her,
"When you are whole,
you will be happy to break, again."
Break bread with love.

I lay bleeding in the crevice
trying to scream the pain away
like a fiction, was noble bliss
I closed my eyes to end the day
and along came the man
that would silence my fears
bandaged wounds
skins of beers
dirge of tunes
smiling, "Cheers!"

I could walk when morning came
shake of hands
sharing names
Eljago, he said proudly
I cringed admitting my name
regardless he called it fitting
I said much the same

With Eljago's farewell words,
he strode in danger's path
Mount Death on his horizon
I looked on, "Absurd!"
walking after him,
"Why head there?"
He said love tests all men
but for some, there is a fare
"I'll join you on this quest!"
Looking mournful, he said,
Beware...

Long was the journey!
'Neath forests, o'er hills
Nests of creatures, exotic thrills
Barbarian territory
Witch's lands... chills.
"I tire," I complained
Eljago urged we continue
"My wound gnaws me!" I shrieked.
Still, he pushed us
I collapsed, swamped in sweat
Angered, he chided me
and warned of the danger
I languished despite he
There was no roar or crack of twigs
no arrogant warning
the creature's maw like a cave
came to swallow us, darkness
blinding
Eljago swift, his might awing
cleaved it in two
while I sat bawling
Like two halves of a hill
each side flattening trees
the forest hushed in chill
as the beast was no more...
What did he use,
to fell the monster?
Eljago pointed to Mount Death
he insisted we go faster

The Journey was longer
than I could have known
at a faster pace
you'd think I was thrown!
I twisted an ankle
Eljago gave it strength
I fell over
He picked me up
I puked
He fed me
My legs gave out
He carried me
I wept
the air was so thick
I could barely breath
He finally stopped
He told me stories of his love
On an island constantly devoured by the sea
Eljago was loved immaculately
Her name was Vailloria
she came from the sea
they had ten children
but angered the Gods
for Vailloria was wed
despite Eljago's perceived odds
to have her for himself
he had to face Dragado
God of lies and darkest shadow

I told Eljago of my life
in laborious
excruciating
detail
and how I'd fallen to die...
Eljago, my savior,
began
to cry.
He had never heard a story,
so mired in turmoil
adversity made him strong
but it made me so weak.

Eljago carried me further,
to the top of Mount Death
There, I watched him approach
the throne
of the Shadow
of Death.
Dragado stepped out from shadow
his features made of bone
he looked down on Eljago
and laughed a roaring drone
"Is this what she wants?
That pathetic adulterous crone!"
Like thunder was the strike
right down on Eljago's head
never had a blow
filled me with so much dread,
but Eljago stood for glory
Eljago stood for love!
In fact, where was Eljago?
There he was, above!
His strike was like an eagle
or an axe
or something mighty
it split Dragado quick
but there was something
fishy
a puff of cloud and shadow
no residue of anything messy.

As the mist cleared,
Eljago glanced at me, confused.
I shrugged, scratched my beard
hoped the fight would be continued.
Eljago dropped to his knees,
clawing at his chest
"What's happening to me!" he cried.
I rushed over at his behest.
It was sudden,
it was cruel,
no honorable way to end a duel...
The shadowed hand of Dragado
burst from Eljago's chest
clutching Eljago's heart
failed was the test.

Eljago smiled,
he looked into my eyes, relaxed
he handed me a little scroll
"Find Vailloria..." and passed,
before his last words were said,
but I knew what we wanted last.

Dragado sat smiling
on his spectral throne
For once, something brave I said,
"Take me to Vailloria's home!"
Laughing, he obliged
A dark door opened
I walked through with confidence
and emerged on an island's bed.
There was Vailloria, waiting
beauty radiant as a breath of heaven
around her, children played
I walked to her right then
I handed her the scroll
She read it with her children ten
Who was Eljago, to you? she asked
Thinking of his tears,
I said, "He was my true friend."

Each death of another year
Brings lives lived in higher resolutions
This next year I promise to
Finally embrace my dreaming madman
Let my ears ringing be a sign that I need to listen up and maybe even calm my mind more
Stop expecting some grand vision to reveal itself and to keep reminding myself that hallucinations are not something I really want
I promise to sit my *** down and write when a poem comes to mind
Not days after where my mind turns to a rusty endless machine of impossible gears that serve no purpose but to clank together and make useless sparks
I will nevermore worry myself that what I have to say doesn't matter in the long run and that my speaking up doesn't always take the spotlight from those who deserve and need it
I will continue to resist being some tragic Faustian punk
I will remember that some things I can not ever begin to understand and just because I love someone that doesn't mean they have any obligation to love me back and that's ok
I will acknowledge that not everyone "gets" what I'm trying to get at and that's fine too
I will write some poems that rhyme ******
And I will probably  cut down on swearing
And I may even cut down on soda or whatever you want to call it, but I won't tell anyone whether that is followed or not
I resolve in the coming year to breathe in and breathe out the beauty of the world around me and surround myself with whoever cares enough to ask me who I really am
I am going to let everyone know who I am respectfully regardless etc etc
I will be honest with my shortcomings, my defeats, my family, and anyone else who asks
I will finally learn the names of all my coworkers
And in this coming year I will finally tap into the holy poet Saint Daniel Robinson that I know lives and sleeps deep down in the disaffected hermit *** Daniel I feel I am today