without you is a lonely shore,
a stretch of sand, a closing door,
where wisps the winds from off the waves,
such mockery of my heart they make.

no matter what the time of day,
i think, i dream of you this way:
hand in hand, at last as one,
sharing laughter, love and fun.

with these, my tired, aging hands,
i would weave a floral garland strand,
create a wreath of petals sweet,
place it upon your head so neat,
and in the setting of the day,
we'd frolic and we'd dance and play,
like young lovers do and for all time,
you'd love me and i'd call you mine.

I live to die and die to know,
The way of life the blood of flow,
Remember all you can't restrain,
You captivate the dream with pain,
My nightmares haunt and nothing's real,
Forever will I bleed to feel,
The corner helpless of my eyes,
Distort the horror of my lies,
I’ll try to run but I will fall,
I’ll try to hide but then stand tall,
You know the cold and I feel numb,
Feeling destroyed I will succumb,
A craving to hard to ignore,
The tears from my eyes they pour,
A hurting to deject to tame,
a toneless voice I cannot name,
A place that puts your hell to shame,
And that’s my mind a wilting flame.

She ran away from all the pain,
With a shattered soul she would obtain,
Hated unwanted with nowhere to go,
She’d always she hurting but no one would know.

She tells herself her lives a mess,
She wants to sleep, eternally rest,
She wants to die sad and hurt,
She’s sick with the pain she can’t divert,
She wants away from all the lies,
She wants to live without stifling cries.

She can’t be happy when she’s alone,
She can’t stay where she has no home,
She can’t go back without memories,
She can’t show the scars when no one sees,
She can’t be loved when she hides it away,
She’s misunderstood so she never can stay.

She wasn’t afraid when she drew her last breath
She had found her escape, her cure was death,
She won’t be remembered and she won’t be missed,
So please if you would listen to this.

Look for a grave unmarked and unknown,
And remember this girl; she’s found her home.

So you want to take away their rights
its all over the news
but before you check that ballot box
tell me which one would you lose?

You see theres a new rule in this game
if we take away their rights
we have to give up one of ours
we too have to sacrifice

Oh its not fair I hear you cry
and isn't that the truth
you really should have thought it out
before you stepped into that booth

Just because you don't agree
with what someone has to say
does it really justify
taking free speech away?

How can we claim were civilized
if this we choose to do
All men were supposed to be equal
now we're more equal than you?

I want to be the girl they sing about
I want to be the one that "gets around"
I'd like to be the doorknob turned
I'd like to be "she never learns"
Breaking boys' poor little hearts
Teach me how and I'll play the part

Instead of the one who falls for the guy
Left all alone in her bedroom to cry
Tired of being
Miss Always gets hurt
I want to leave them first

I want to to be
The One you can't trust
Leave them all in the dust
The One who "got away"
The One who never stays in one place

I want my own trophy shelf

I'd like to be

The Girl with notches on her belt

I want to be

That *****

The One you fell in love with

The little red corvette
The poison
Your regret

The One who makes you feel sick
Who doesn't give a ****
The One who's keepin' score
Who never likes them more
The One all the girls hate
The Girl who plays mind games
The One who "has it all"
The Girl who watches them fall

The Spider
trapping you in a web
The Witch
placing curses, wishing you unwell

I'm so furious
if looks could ****
I'd watch your blood spill
The girls boys choose
while I continuously lose

I want to play the tricks
while you obey my every whim

Instead of being me
Miss Always Lonely

The Girl who leaves you
broken hearted
with a dismiss kiss
and
could care less you two parted

Instead of Miss Last Pick
Instead of The 19 year old ******
Instead of The Girl they'd all just love to ****
Instead of "great ****"
Instead of "nice ***"
Instead of The One you want to lay
Instead "never a relationship"
Instead of "hey, hot girl, let's play"
Instead of the body
Instead of too smart
Instead of too talkative
and weird
Instead of the feminist
Instead "Miss Morals"
Instead of 'What a *****"
Instead of a novelty
Instead of the rarity
Instead of past tense

When made fun of in elementary
and middle school
I used to wish and  hope
I could be Miss Hot
Miss Thousand Watts

And now...
I have nothing else but...

I want to beautiful too...
not just an *** and *****...

They don't want to talk
They just want to ****
So I blow them off

Only one boyfriend
where all I did was bend

and too many "I hardley know you"
drunken make outs
with too many doubts

Only One love
and he broke my heart...

The boyfriend
The love
were two different people

With the first I tried..

With the Second I cried
4 years of wasted time

They say I'm "too hard to figure out"
I'm "too hard to sleep with"
too much this
too much that
So maybe if I change
I can be Miss Perfect


In the end...
I just want to be loved...



everyone does.

An intricate
web of limbs
Hey there Slim
Tall drink of water
Let's go farther
Blurry vision
Pants unzip
The point in the night
You don't give a ****
It's sorta ****** up
I like you so much
Gettin' crushed
by a crush
Make my heart mush
rooms got me high
Like a falling airplane
Balance is lost in the sky
Bye bye birdie
Have you heard the word
It's not sober
this love
I flew the coop
Doesn't take a sleuth
to see
I’m trippin'
my balance is shakin
I'm floating
on false realities
Fake hopes for
you and me
One night stands
What's your name again?
Mary Jane is all I can remember
Suddenly skin feels like December
Everything turned sour
A foggy wasted hour
One flew
Over the cuckoo’s nest
And She never came back again

It's a mental ******
Chase it
with some whiskey
wine and dine
on an alcoholic's appetite
A mental fight
It's wrong!
It's right!
My drink
A sanctuary
2 am and nothing means ****
I'm havin' a fit
Jim Beam, My main man
Kick with him
Catch it with nets I can
Worries disappear
With Captain's there's nothin' to fear
Can you hear
troubles fading away?
Problems that were
the rave of the day
No more
(No longer a do-right)
of what it's like to feel real
kneel at the uh-oh toilet
until upset subsides
All the pain of surprise
How can life be so unfair?
Do I care
anymore?
My loved ones turned to folklore
Bathe in the galore
of false realities
Am I me
or the person I chose to be?
After endless rounds of Jose Cuervo
Did I lose count? I count it
amongst my friends.
He's the only man
that's been there.
Are we square?
Tequila, my companion
of the day
Throw all your cares away
Hakuna Matata
what a wonderful stage
to come to
Kissin' the bottle
Lovin' the liquor
Runnin' down the throat
Tryin' to feel it quicker
Drunk and Happy
because life is a world away
Issues?
You don't need tissues
with beer as company
Lonely, doesn't mean a thing
and company is a closer fantasy
The smoke from a cigarette
the hit you can't quit
Bad habits
Carrots for rabbits
and nothin' feels as **** good
like ***** and nicotine
makes me lean and mean
ready for anything
Lickin' the sin off my chin
Party hardy
All fun with Bacardi
I can handle it
and down the rest of my ****
Until it's 11 a.m. the next day
late for work again
Maybe, I'm okay
It's meant to be, Eve
and her apple
Temptation's frustration
See? It's destiny
This poison and me
Crack, a poor man's coke
Jack, a poor girl's hope

I appears I'm slowly dying
I just found out today
there's a cancer in my body
as I type it eats away

So now I'm kind of lost
I don't know what to say
All the words that dwelt within me
seem to have gone away

There's a death that lies within us all
we seldom get to see
so in a sense I'm lucky
to see the one that lies in me

So with the time that I have left
I don't know what to do
Should it now become all about me
and less about all of you

So there it is, my recent news
or sentence if you will
its seems that I have to swallow
the bitterest of pills

I have lived my life with no regrets
and there's been mistakes I've made
So I guess I'll see what happens next
when in the ground I'm laid.

You're little works of art
lined up there on my plate
You look so ******* ****
I want to masticate

I lick my lips and swallow hard
struggling to chose whats next
The perfect juxtaposition
between seafood and ***

It's such a shame
and such a pain
that all you do is complain.
What's to gain?
Is it a game?
How you drive me insane?
What's going on inside that brain?
I'm thinking of a million names
to call you.
All you do is whine
and waste away my time.
Life isn't all that bad
Why let everything get you so sad?
I tried
to help you once
you said you needed "space."
But when things go wrong,
I'm the first to be blamed.
Keep mope-ing about your day.
Keep pushing me  further away.
The smallest things goes ******
you throw a fit
turn to me to start to *****.
Well,
THAT'S ENOUGH
You're dismissed.
I can't take anymore of this ****.
Tired of your "woe-is me's"
Tired of your constant self-pitying.
Act like you're in such misery.
You're no longer fooling me.
Leave me be.
Forget about my house key.
This "relationship",
I'm leaving.
What we had,
lost its' meaning.
Keep feigning you're depressed.
Find a new girl to make a mess.
She won't be there for long.
Just like me,
She'll soon be gone.
When are you going to realize
that all your lies
and theatrical sighs
are letting the "good things" walk right out of your life.

I really did try.
I tried.
I tried.

**and tried.

Searching for my lost self
Storing pain away on bookstore shelves
Narrow Hips
Bruised Lips
Cigarettes
Regrets
Coffee
Coughing
Looking over my shoulder for you
You left
but I disappeared
Kissed you last
when the sky stayed clear
Winter
I hate her

I don't support this war,
but I don't have the key to this
government's door.
Even if I did they'd throw my opinions
to the Congress' janitor's floor
because the fruits of their heart
are rotten
right down to the core.

Do we even know anymore what we're fighting for?

And sometimes...
I feel like I can't speak,
can't say what I think.
The country I loved
is choking me.

On this war is spent billions and what for?
They could be,
should be
doing something
                  something more
Maybe, just maybe, feeding the poor?
Creating health insurance middle class and below can afford?

Our politicians are prostitutes, they're tainting our youth.

The unemployment line
keeps growing in size.
The cookie is crumbling,
This Nation's economy.

We need a Revolution.
Find the solution.
So LOOK
my generation and SEE
the bigger picture,
what's going on out there
and start to care.

Recycle you paper.
Refresh your beliefs.
Take my hand
and make a Stand with me.

Mr. Moronic,
you know who you are.
You don't speak for me.
Only wealthy companies.

And your most elite supporters
I want to know
is it for ***** money?
or something worse?

We are suppose to be your people.
You treat us like neglected pets.
What will come next?

You won't take way my choice.
You won't take away my voice.
So go ahead, burn me like the town witch.
Beacuse I won't conform.
Because I'm different.

USA!
Land of the Free!
Dig and you'll see.
You're in bad company.
And those freedoms you treasure
are being taken away
a little more
                        every
                            ­ day

Congress men and women bought
                      left and right
Will you be next?
Put up a fight.
We eat their half-truths
and puke up the ruse.

Government closes your eyes
by telling you pretty little lies.
But is it worth being blind?
Keep covering your ears
and you have nothing to fear.
But, eventually the Truth
will make you HEAR.