Sorry...
Feel the crushing weight of it?

Beyond this the wasted,  
the fake, wasted.

The sensation
of darkened moments awaiting
daybreak and understanding

our past is playing
Cords of silk,
strung to be strummed,
a gentle note.

The price is living,
cast out, caught up,  
Knowing it was you...

You blew it.
Images played out every evening

Bitter sweet
the rotten misperception

Each scene you,  
And suffered through to numbness

To hold this,  
my happiest of moments
Without being able to know it

I find myself lonely,  
My heart weighted...

Seeing the end,

Noticing it to be...
an essential moment

For too long now,
these clouds...
Gray and deep,
like ink in water...
The landscape beneath,
barren, cold, forgotten...
Winds and rain,
lightning and thunder...
Just me, alone in this,
my way is guarded...
I'd given up,
no hope, no light...
Surrendered.
Then You came,
So bright, brilliant...
A single ray of light,
through those clouds...
You found Me,
In that light, peace...
And the ground,
hope taking root...
growing,...
that single ray exploding...
making a world I thought I knew,
New, intense and surprisingly wonderful.
A ray of light, And a world
I owe all to you.

You’re a beautiful fighter.
No other angel may compare,
In these eyes,
The one’s You gave me.
No heart have I known,
Bigger, kinder, genuine, gentler
No,… Nor any more unconditional
As is the way that you love.
As is the way of a beautiful fighter.
Mom, the day I found you,
Life having left you only moments prior,
I realized I’d never know another,
Champion already in my eyes,
A hundred times over…
Your strength, your will, your stamina, your devotion
Filled me, trained my body to react,
To fight back, so I tried…
I kissed your mouth and fed you air,..
Begging with encouraging yet pleading
words desperate, needed
Please mom, come back, not yet, I’m not ready…
Your tiny chest, in out of place wonder…
How could such a large heart reside there…
I pushed, I pressed I begged I kissed…
Fearing the worst but inside I knew better…
Because you Mom,
You Are A Beautiful Fighter.
This day you won,
Forever my champion,
I love you mom,
I have never been prouder than of you now,
Thank you for fighting Mom,
You never gave up, and I will never either.

only a half truth,
. . . . . the practiced words
. . . . . . . . . . .  We say.

We. . . . . .
. . . . . . . the wicked,
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and corrupt.

The DISEASED,
. . . . . . . . and ADDICTED.

With words
. . . . . . . .  we find
. . . . . . . . . . . . .  why's
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  that we weave.

half truths. . . .  
. . . . . . . .  with excuses.

. . . . . . . . . . . empty apologies. . . . . . . . . . . .

Deception
. . . . . . .  eases this guilt
. . . . . .  where
. . . . . . . . . ownership is needed.
It was me.
. . . . . .  I'm sorry.

. . . . . . . . . . . I AM sorry.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This IS me!

. . . . . . . . . . . . empty apologies. . . . . . . . . . .

“I would be lying
if I said my soul didn't resonate
with the words you write”,
what you do write is a gift,
“an attention to detail that seems
to cost the rest of the world so much.”

I am myself found somehow
in your words, your beautiful lines
and I fight when you fight,... I try.

You... You are a muse, an author
often able to feel and hide inside,
and most of all, you are a wish to never meet,
for the fear of betraying myself
or displaying my faults

you and I, and our emotions,
given to words, put into forms
that dance, and entice and lure the mind,
the body and inner hidden parts...
they are right.

I am in your words tonight,
as I am most nights
and I am naked,
I am willing,
I am hopeful
and I won't lie...

A part of this mind and heart are in love,
the other parts know the world outside.
Write, write, please, weave me a world
of shared uniqueness
eloquent reasons why I know
as little or as much
to share,
I'm in your words tonight.

And I heard the words approaching,
So close, so fragrant beneath her pressed lips
I waited, I listened...

Encouraging the woman I thought I loved,
Please, baby pleading with all remaining hope...
It wasn't meant to hurt, it was foolish,..

Perfumed blissful ignorance in my waiting acceptance,
whisper the words love, no other may need hear them,
for they are for my hurt, my scarring heart...

In her beautiful green eyes,.. She wants to,
But there is only the longest pause...
then a tear, shed to roll easily away
and I am no longer the reason for the words

something did happen,
robbing the song they produce
in my heart, that in a breath, weakens...

Oh no, no, no, no don't give silence reign over our union.
Silence is nothing to my eardrums,
as it is...  Too loud,
and wretchedly painful to my heart.

So close, the words, the way to the way it was,
before,...
one last kiss will never come...

As she turns and lives forever part,
all that is left,
is the fragrance of a whisper
to remember, and words that never were never heard.

I'm sorry,... I do love you,
I will always, forever...

Words that never come.