I want to be the girl they sing about
I want to be the one that "gets around"
I'd like to be the doorknob turned
I'd like to be "she never learns"
Breaking boys' poor little hearts
Teach me how and I'll play the part

Instead of the one who falls for the guy
Left all alone in her bedroom to cry
Tired of being
Miss Always gets hurt
I want to leave them first

I want to to be
The One you can't trust
Leave them all in the dust
The One who "got away"
The One who never stays in one place

I want my own trophy shelf

I'd like to be

The Girl with notches on her belt

I want to be

That *****

The One you fell in love with

The little red corvette
The poison
Your regret

The One who makes you feel sick
Who doesn't give a ****
The One who's keepin' score
Who never likes them more
The One all the girls hate
The Girl who plays mind games
The One who "has it all"
The Girl who watches them fall

The Spider
trapping you in a web
The Witch
placing curses, wishing you unwell

I'm so furious
if looks could ****
I'd watch your blood spill
The girls boys choose
while I continuously lose

I want to play the tricks
while you obey my every whim

Instead of being me
Miss Always Lonely

The Girl who leaves you
broken hearted
with a dismiss kiss
and
could care less you two parted

Instead of Miss Last Pick
Instead of The 19 year old ******
Instead of The Girl they'd all just love to ****
Instead of "great ****"
Instead of "nice ***"
Instead of The One you want to lay
Instead "never a relationship"
Instead of "hey, hot girl, let's play"
Instead of the body
Instead of too smart
Instead of too talkative
and weird
Instead of the feminist
Instead "Miss Morals"
Instead of 'What a *****"
Instead of a novelty
Instead of the rarity
Instead of past tense

When made fun of in elementary
and middle school
I used to wish and  hope
I could be Miss Hot
Miss Thousand Watts

And now...
I have nothing else but...

I want to beautiful too...
not just an *** and *****...

They don't want to talk
They just want to ****
So I blow them off

Only one boyfriend
where all I did was bend

and too many "I hardley know you"
drunken make outs
with too many doubts

Only One love
and he broke my heart...

The boyfriend
The love
were two different people

With the first I tried..

With the Second I cried
4 years of wasted time

They say I'm "too hard to figure out"
I'm "too hard to sleep with"
too much this
too much that
So maybe if I change
I can be Miss Perfect


In the end...
I just want to be loved...



everyone does.

An intricate
web of limbs
Hey there Slim
Tall drink of water
Let's go farther
Blurry vision
Pants unzip
The point in the night
You don't give a ****
It's sorta ****** up
I like you so much
Gettin' crushed
by a crush
Make my heart mush
rooms got me high
Like a falling airplane
Balance is lost in the sky
Bye bye birdie
Have you heard the word
It's not sober
this love
I flew the coop
Doesn't take a sleuth
to see
I’m trippin'
my balance is shakin
I'm floating
on false realities
Fake hopes for
you and me
One night stands
What's your name again?
Mary Jane is all I can remember
Suddenly skin feels like December
Everything turned sour
A foggy wasted hour
One flew
Over the cuckoo’s nest
And She never came back again

Sleep giggles from the corners of my mind,
A child, playing hide and seek.
And I search,
calling its name in a frantic need of assurance
that it hasn't wandered too far off.

It waits in closets and cabinets
crouching, playful,
when I open the doors of my consciousness
hoping to find it in spaces
the moonlight   can't
                                           quite
                                                        reach.

Then, as the sun rises
and it sees with dismay
that I have given up,
thinking it must have fled to the empty house on the corner
it curls up beside me
with a smile of childish satisfaction
and embraces me with sincerity
unmatched by any apology.

It's a mental ******
Chase it
with some whiskey
wine and dine
on an alcoholic's appetite
A mental fight
It's wrong!
It's right!
My drink
A sanctuary
2 am and nothing means ****
I'm havin' a fit
Jim Beam, My main man
Kick with him
Catch it with nets I can
Worries disappear
With Captain's there's nothin' to fear
Can you hear
troubles fading away?
Problems that were
the rave of the day
No more
(No longer a do-right)
of what it's like to feel real
kneel at the uh-oh toilet
until upset subsides
All the pain of surprise
How can life be so unfair?
Do I care
anymore?
My loved ones turned to folklore
Bathe in the galore
of false realities
Am I me
or the person I chose to be?
After endless rounds of Jose Cuervo
Did I lose count? I count it
amongst my friends.
He's the only man
that's been there.
Are we square?
Tequila, my companion
of the day
Throw all your cares away
Hakuna Matata
what a wonderful stage
to come to
Kissin' the bottle
Lovin' the liquor
Runnin' down the throat
Tryin' to feel it quicker
Drunk and Happy
because life is a world away
Issues?
You don't need tissues
with beer as company
Lonely, doesn't mean a thing
and company is a closer fantasy
The smoke from a cigarette
the hit you can't quit
Bad habits
Carrots for rabbits
and nothin' feels as **** good
like ***** and nicotine
makes me lean and mean
ready for anything
Lickin' the sin off my chin
Party hardy
All fun with Bacardi
I can handle it
and down the rest of my ****
Until it's 11 a.m. the next day
late for work again
Maybe, I'm okay
It's meant to be, Eve
and her apple
Temptation's frustration
See? It's destiny
This poison and me
Crack, a poor man's coke
Jack, a poor girl's hope

Thought First.
Write Tall & Learn her
Ripe World at last.
Read Planted Ideas & Teach Large Pictures.
Make Us Bread

She was above nasty gossip
and
He was a violent perfection
from rubber 24 hours

Because
His 24 hours was a
                                        violent
                ­                                        crazy
                   ­                                                  hate

He thinks stress has trans-fats

and

She has fear at all-nighters
because there's no such thing as
silly all-nighters
far from boredom and regrets

She wants to ban
her fear of boys being players with cement hearts
and
He wants to ban
pretty over-the-top perfection

The both fear
the regrets and pretty lies of love

But
He is pudding
when he's around her
and
She feels like he has a suit of
fresh cement lines

Because she's fallen and is now stuck

They get
jitters next to nerves
around each other

Sick of bad karma
on a birthday
on my birthday

She has 3x fresher ringtones
He thinks the sentence
"that smelly belly"
is funny
I love cheese

We are (nothing but)                                        
Rubber lines                                                   r     o            
like the ugly lies that were always  a      us      u
                                        ­                                    d         n

Ban Insecurity.

Hi, below I copy a humorous hiabun, which I shared as an exercise to mentor enquiring and inspired poets to learn, so they might adopt and try different techniques and then give critique together with awesome comments... Yes, I used the words ***, ****** and **** for context the rest was left to an individual imagination as in good poetry!

It included reflective commentary encompasses innocent classification terminology used in the critique, reading, examining, appreciating, understanding and writing of poetry for example: POETIC DEVICES (enjambement, duality, keriji, images, collocation, semantic, oxymoron, repetition, listing etc.), STORY (personification, characterisation, subject, context, voice etc.), IMAGERY (synaesthesia), STRUCTURE ( lineation, breaks, syntactic etc.), SOUNDS (syllables, rhyme, alliteration, pace, musicality, phrasing, beat, assonance, onomatopoeia, mouthed rhythms, patterned) and WORDS (preposition, determiner, verbs, adverbs, lexical, nouns, adjectives) used by poets, critics and academics...

And here it is :

****** tongue-in-cheek haibun - a reflective commentary on writing a popular tanka

Eye lashes flicker
a shared urgent interest
parting - dancing smile


My first inspiration was ***, passionate life squeezing screaming ***, the thumping wall musicality of ***, exhaustingly inventive sweaty and wet.

I wanted to make it a senryu but for duality the female characterisation demanded two more lines each extending to seven syllables.  

Arousing images captured her moaning splashing loneliness in unusual collocation.

I was first excited by the placement of a hovering extended enjambement to give life to my final line, whilst also considering the satisfaction in using noisy mouthed rhythms.  

I believe I easily hid the wet aroused context with a watery semantic field, that suggested she would choke and drown.

So in my last line I had ‘pleasures’ as a cutting keriji to make clear the dominating ****** context, having previously used a preposition and determiner to maintain duality!


Exhausted shivers
in windowed naked currents
unfolding sinking
then surfing vital wavelets
drowning screams - pleasures wet bite

No feelings
No depth
No core to strike the iron hot
Upon.
I regret to inform you Sir
That I have lost the capacity
To care,
That I have dropped the
Ephemeral Ball of belief
And have become tangled
Undone.
A shallow
Hollowed
Cracked
Broken and busted
Shapely shell
That contains only dust,
Particles of Mistrust

I am bumpy rolling stone
No moss collected
Just cleft reflected
On a surface
Not shy or unscarred of pain.

This is today
This empty decay
This is now, this dust cloud
Caught trapped aloof and uncaring.