I should have know better-
      I'm certainly old enough to avoid,
the desire for reckless abandonment.
Carelessly tossing caution to the wind.
       Jumping into the deep end....
           without regard for consequences.
After waiting far too long

... only to be used.

Emotional scars heal slowly
   ~never completely.
These scars lead to
      skepticism, mistrust, fear .
And sadness,
     sad because what might have been
         can never be realized.
sad because loneliness becomes
     your everyday normal.
           day to uneventful day.
But at least you are safe.
One question -
*are you truly living?

I was born outside...
   outside the mainstream,
       outside my own ethnicity,
I am outside of how
    a lady is supposed to act.
I am on the outside - looking in.
I can see how the others live~
     knowing it will never include me.
I experience others of my ethnicity-
    yet I'm shunned due to lack of melanin.
I'm educated, intelligent, funny and witty-
  yet I lack that feminine quality
       of being demure.
I demand honesty-
     but I can't trust you with my secrets.
I've too many scars....