Dear Nicotine

Why do I feel like I need you

Like the air that I breathe.

You feel as good as oxygen

Yet

You are slowly killing me

Happiness,
Happy mess
Is it Something we chase
Maybe there’s something more real
That we must face.

Why is it
When We feel sadness
We feel pain
We feel alone,
Like no one knows.

We count our thorns
While the world sees us a rose.

Unfold.

I push,
Then I pull
Directionless, getting ahead of ya
But there's a path for us all,
Devil in one hand angel in my soul
Stereotypical
I can see myself falling
But i keep going
As if I dont know betta,
Ohp im going under.

Another line,
Another smoke,
Itll numb ya up.
Oh baby, We’re just having fun.
You’re just catching up.
Too late. Now you're in.
Devil welcomes you at the door,
Now you'll be thinking about me,
And ill bring you to your knees.
How do you get more,
I’m the one you adore.

**** your relationships,
Ya need me, you see.
Life would be too plain,
And I’m the one to save you from your pain.

Addiction is not your friend
Your only a slave to
your ****** head.
So run while you can
Before your stuck
the realms of darkness
Emptiness
Expressionless

I look inside,
heart full of gold
A soul that wants to go home.
A body that wants to be loved,
By me.
But,
I tend to want the one that doesn’t want me.
Stupid psychology.
Thanks mom, thanks dad,
Is this what love is supposed to be?

Gotta retrain my brain
Into knowing what's actually good for me
It isn’t that easy
raised in a house full of
Neglect, dysfunction and misery.
You think that’s love.
But I can hear from the depths inside of me,
Love doesn’t do this,
Love sets you free.
[of entropy consuming which breathes]

Broken doors, broken glass.
I guess it aint that bad.
[Hes only just half mad
When full glass been gotten gone]


Could've been me.
[Peace enough to let the frame free]


k.c

What my life looked like a year ago

Is nothing like it looks like now.

What my life looks like a year from today,

I hope it is nothing like it looks like now.

Rolling with the tides,

I'm having fun on this ride.

Suddenly I woke up

I realize in my laughter and whim,

I've swam too far.



Out in the dark waters,

Lost, Alone,

Where did my friends go?

I Want to get back to shore, my home.
.
hope to find my way back

but I can not see where home is.

Only seems a blurry vision now,

I'm not sure it exists anymore.

Can I get home? or is home now only a figment of my imagination.

Only a foggy image of home that I can hear like an echo calling my name.

The ocean

Swallows you

Drowns you

Encapsulates you whole..

And your wishing you never

Dipped your foot in the water.

You must swim,
Fight,
For your life to get out of the depths of the sea thats drowning you.

Every muscle,
Every bone,
Every cell,
Fighting for you.

This is no different,
Only you are only drowning on the inside dear
You must fight for your life.
But your mind must be aligned.

.

So over this fight
Done staying up all night
Telling myself this is alright
But this is my life.
A purpose to obtain
Yet i spend my days hiding away
Smoking away my pain
And putting on a fake face

Each hit i take
Feels like a bit of relief
With a smack in the face.

How could i be so weak?
How could i let a chemical control me?
Is it just the rush i seek?

It helps me get through the week,
But when its time to lie to asleep,
I cant help but feel all the shame
Ive buried underneath.

Answers, i seek.
I don’t want to treat myself this mean.
Through the things i eat,
And how i cope to get through my misery
Discipline, i need.

How could i be so weak?
I let a chemical
Such as nicotine
Control me.

I fade away
Into the blank space
I close my eyes,
And tell myself,
Just one more day.

I am not a sheep.
Fear and doubt have expanded within my psyche
And taken over what I truly believe.

I know I have the key.
All i need to do is one thing,
And the rest will fall into place.
Trust and believe,
The universe is listening.

My guides are waiting for me
To reclaim
The parts of me that im scared to let free.
My power,
My talent,
And my frequency.
It needs releashed.
The circle is not complete
If I keep my gifts just for me.

I must master self control
To do what is good for the soul.
So i can be free,
And truly be me.
Im halfway there,
But im gripping so tight to this pole
Why do i think i cant let go?
It feels like if i do,
The ocean will swallow me whole.
But really, home is where ill go.
The home thats been waiting for me
To grab the key
And step in

I will be my friend.
Care for myself
Reach ultimate zen
Patience is running thin

My life is not a game.
I am sick and tired
Of this recipe
That only ends
To a road of obsolete.

Nobody knows, the smile i put on is just a show.
If i can do anything,
Is to make me proud of me.

I know what i need to do.
Decide and follow through.
Maybe you wont even be so blue.
Youll be glad that you took the chance
On taking care of yourself again.

Some people, dont get that chance.
You dont need to live life so fast.
Trust and believe,
There is more than you think..
Rooting for you.
On your team.

– be the one who says they can.
Be the one who outlasts and adapts
Be the one to make people believe,
But first,
I must believe in me

Aligned
I am not out of time
I will recover
From all thats happened to me,
From this body that feels like its deteriorating.


I will  commit
Embody self discipline
And show me,
That i AM on my own team.
No more working against me..

-klarity