There’s something I have not told many around me.
And something I rarely show and you'll probably never see
But something you really need to know to understand why I sometimes act weird or I am distant.  
And the reason I will ignore you in school unless you come to me and my energy is nonexistent.
I'm always in pain, I always have some sort of prescription painkillers with me.
They don’t remove everything but they help me to function to some degree.
To be completely honest, I don't know how my liver is working and I'm not dying.
I take my painkillers over maximum dosages and if I said I cared, I'd be lying.
I often spend my days in bed in pain and mostly you can't reach me
If you meet me in school I can bet I’m wearing one black bracelet on each wrist
I have them to soothe the sickness from the drug's side effects my doctor missed
I have tried to be strong and not let it take over who I used to be
But living is for me only bittersweet, I will never be free

I know I shouldn’t feel like this but I do
I am slowly falling in love with you
But you’ve got her and I got him
And the chances of something happening are really slim
I know I should cut you off, run and hideaway
But something about this makes me wanna stay

I am drawn towards the sick
I love the lunatic
I feel at home with the wicked
I’d die for the sickened
We all have our own demons
I am a part of the heathens

I’ve probably seen stuff that’d make any grown person freak out, or at least have nightmares.
I have seen people die, I’ve seen over 1000 videos and I don’t remember half of them, they didn’t leave a mark. You name it, I’ve seen it. It’s been;
Decapitation, headshots, crushed under caterpillars, hanging, drowning, burning alive, getting skinned alive, hit by a train, brain matter splattered on the ground, the trembling hands of the man who’s unable to feel his legs not knowing they aren’t attached to him anymore and the panic in his eyes as they put him in the body bag alive.
I’ve heard screams of a fear, I’ve heard pleading for mercy, I’ve heard the silent gurgle of a man's last desperate breath of air after his throat was cut.
A scream of pure agony from a father who just witnessed his son’s ******, the oddly comforting sound the body makes when it hits the ground after falling from the roof. I like watching them, I guess I have some morbid fascination with death.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d never hurt someone, that’s not what I'm saying, or maybe I could.
They just don’t affect me like they probably should, I’ve grown numb to the one thing designed to scare us; death.

I don't just Love music, It's the only reason I have survived
I eat, sleep and breathe music, It keeps me alive
If you ask me, there's like a 99% chance I'm listening to it
I'm even listening to music while writing this ****
If I have to choose between music and you
It was nice knowing you, my dude

Ask her what her favorite color is
Not at what age she had her first kiss
Ask her questions respectfully
And for god sake don’t ask when she lost her virginity
Don’t send her pictures of your **** without consent
Cause she’ll save it and laugh at it with her friends
Or she will do what I always do
Make sure your mama sees it too

Will arrest scared women for having a pocket knife
Goes home at the end of the day and beat up his wife
Torture and murders innocent black men
“They were scared for their life” is the reason of the torment
Shooting a kid dead for possessing ****
Freed from the ****** charges because ”he’s always so sweet”
The only life that doesn’t matter is the blue
And until the day I die, I will scream 1312
~ A.S 09.05.20 ~

Cops act like they always save people’s lives
Then they go home and beat up their wives
Torture and ****** innocent black men
“scared for their life” was their reason for the torment
Shooting a kid dead for possessing ****
Freed from the ****** charges because ”he’s always so sweet”
The only life that doesn’t matter is the blue
And until the day I die, I will scream 1312

I am a woman, not a first-prize trophy, not a piece of meat or prey for you to catch.
I wasn’t born into this world for your satisfaction or your enjoyment. I will not be belittled, hushed, called sweetheart, or talked over.
I will not stand by and watch while my sisters get abused, *****, murdered, and thrown away like a piece of chewed-up chewing gum.
“Men get ***** too you know!” If that’s your first thought when I said that then you’re the problem here too.
“Men get abused too” if you say that only to minimize the issue women have with abuse then you’re both stupid and a coward.
They say her skirt was too short, she was too drunk, she was flirting, and never how he ***** her.
As if the amount of skin I show is the amount of infliction I deserve.

Where did her husband go?
No one but Don Lewis know
Did he really run away?
Or is this a case of foul play
The people speculate he got eaten by his wife's tigers
Or did she use the meat grinders?
I don't want to tell you too much and spoil
But they said something about sardine Oil.
Who killed Don?
That ***** Carole ******' Baskin
But since he's dead we can't ask him