I can easily disappear again
Into the shadows and dark
Run away to the comfort
Of my closet within

I could hide in the sight
Plain as as the pixels
To many or none
That cover your day

I would get a new name
Perhaps a new number
A figment that changes
Yet stays the same

I will not be the normative
Something used and shorn
When dancers of envy come
I walk to another room

I could disappear tonight
And maybe I should
Would you ....

You don’t know
The lengths of strength
Of fortitude
Endurance
To maintain and gain
Every day of life
As I drive along my path
Steel nerves when I swerve
This bump and that hole
See what you think
But I know
My power and resilience
Where it comes
How it stays
Continuance
Should guessing remain
As frailty rules your skull
To this point
No longer care
As it’s already known
What remains
And who is the mightier

I rearranged my mind yesterday
I moved people out
I changed a few locks
I put one in a room
And another in a closet
I opened up some space
To grow some flowers and trees
I asked for help
Hired new staff
My kitchen was a mess
I need a new chef
And though I was sad
Emotional and in pain
There was a sense of peace
That some right moves were made
The skies began to clear
I heard laughter in my halls
And though the bandit tried to sneak back in
He is but a flimsy flicker
Easily blown out
As I start another day

I want to reveal
everything
but I am scared
scared of rejection
and you do reject me
many ******* times
disregarding me

if I was a thing
you would be on that!
all the time
I am an afterthought
and I hate it
I feel lame and unwanted
a bother
yet I keep reaching out
in this way and that
I am sure there are more
as I am a meanwhile

do you realize
or care
you are looking for
something that
you do not even know
what it is
it is not me
I accept that
it kills
every time
because
you are right
here

I must be boring
and too fat
and not pretty enough
whatever
I ******* up
somewhere
the failure and the holes
where are they
does it matter
we say goodbye
and it kills
and it will pass
they will not care
and I am an idiot
always an idiot
a failure
an ugly fat stupid woman
terrible

they are occupied
so are they and them
and so on
the others have theirs
it goes on and on
I do what now
I can not do anything

I tried to reveal a bit
to one other
they told me to stop
yet I let them carry on about theirs
do they not know
they are beautiful
charming and funny
one I could fall in love with
one I could share with
but they love a fantasy
and will not see anything else

these ones who say I am amazing
I am not amazing enough
I just am not
because
otherwise
it is always otherwise

but I learn
learn from the sting
you know that sting
HA! that ******* sting
it is right now
so I stop
and I leave
and I bury myself
again and again

It had dissipated.
To tiny dots.
Until...

one day
it was about persuasion
that thing that ponders
or entices your mind

Come Hither
My Sweet
Saccharine
Succubus

looking toward the call
of fluffernutter folly
it was inevitable

Truly The Thoughts
‘Twere Thwarted
‘Til

... the lowly lurker
lay waste
onto the ether
of Madness