True but still funny. A typical cops night.


Dumb Love/Drunk Love

Today I tried to call you
You didn't pick up the phone
I drove bye and saw his car
And knew you weren't alone

I tried to call you one more time
While I stood outside your door
You pretended not to hear my call
And ignored me even more

I decided I would go out back
Throw stones and sing a song
Serenade you with my words
And prove my love once more

You opened up your window
Screamed, please leave me alone
But I know what you wanted
Was for me to keep on going

That guy inside I didnt know
Came out and said to leave
He had something in his hands
What it was, I could not see

I heard you scream into the night
Leave now or you will die
Thats when I saw he had a gun
And the fire in his eyes

I saw a flash and heard a bang
Then I decided I should run
Thats when I knew my love for you
Was over and now done

I saw the lights as the cop's arrived
And watched them search for me
Then I realized that where you lived
Was over one more street

Carl Joseph Roberts

One Good Day

Can you think of one good day
That you remember from your past
A day when everything went right
One you wish you could have back

That day you tell to others
When you talk about good times
The one that brings a smile
Makes you feel good deep inside

Can you think of one good day
That you wish you had again
One that was so perfect
That you hoped would never end

Take that day and share it
With someone you don't know
Give to them just one good day
And let the feeling grow

One good day can be enough
To change somebody's view
When you give someone one good day
It's one good day for you

Carl Joseph Roberts

I'm  Home

I got my own place today
And I did this without you
Turned the key and unlocked the door
And saw the empty rooms

The empty rooms reminded me
That although you wont be here
I'll have a chance to fill the rooms
With memories I'll hold dear

I can paint the walls with colors
Brite and pleasing to my eyes
Cover up past pain and hurt
Now knowing I'll survive

I can look out each new window
Or look in and see the views
And never see a memory
Of the times I spent with you  

I will place my pictures on the walls
Let your memory fade from view
And rearrange my future
To allow for something new

This new place I have will be my home
Where new memories will be made
It all began when I turned the key
As I walked in today

I'm Home
I'm Home

Carl Joseph Roberts 

yes, Yes, YES!

I think about you all day long
But must wait to call your name
You give me what I need the most
A release from my long day

Your boldness just amazes me
The coolness of your looks
I wrap my hands around you
And gently pull you to my lips

All my friends they wish they had you
They admire what they see
They want to have you with them
When they see you're here with me

Your seduction starts out slowly
Anticipating whats in store
My feeling of excitement grows
And I want you even more

The head you give it wont last long
I'll feel your wetness on my tongue
Then close my eyes and take you in
A guilty pleasure till I'm done

I think about you all day long
But must wait to call your name
And when that moment finally comes
Guinness Draft is what I'll say

Carl Joseph Roberts

She Wants To Have The Talk

She says she wants to have the talk
I know im in trouble now
I try to change the subject
But she brings it back around

The talk she wants is special
At least it is to her
She says it is important
And I should hear her every word

She says she'll be right over
That she can start the talk right now
I tell her I'm so busy
And right now im out of town

She tells me that im lying
She knows that im inside
She's been watching me for hours
Been sitting in my drive

Speechless I dont say a word
Then I hear her at the door
I hide inside my bedroom
Under clothes piled on the floor

I hear her come inside my house
She is getting closer now
She says that she can see me
That I should slow my breathing down

She takes my hand and sits with me
Looks straight into my eyes
Tells me just how much she cares
Has feeling deep inside

She says the love she feels for me
Has grown stronger over time
But she must now move forward
It is time to change her life

I say now wait a minute
I cannot lose you now
I can give you what it is you want
I am ready to settle down

She bows her head and I hear her say
Is this the real you
Are you sure you want to settle down
Is it what you want to do

I say it's what I want the most
My decision has been made
Thats what I want to happen
And I need her to please stay

She looks at me and smiles
Says we can set a wedding day
I cant believe I fell for it
She played me like a game

At the talk she is the master
Of getting what she wants
Now married with three kids in school
I LOVE HER VERY MUCH

Carl Joseph Roberts

Pure happiness,
Drenched, no, saturated -
Overwhelmed by meaningful moments,

Complete.

Security in adventure -
What I want for you,
is
Love.

Perfect Not Vain

How lucky can one man be
To be as good looking as I am
Handsome and with muscles
I must be the perfect man

I cant believe how great I am
Fantastic in every way
I know you must be jealous
Dont blame me for being great

It's hard to be who I am
With this brain as sharp as mine
When you think about what I have
You'll wish you could have my life

Dont hate yourself for not being me
It's a curse to look this good
Each morning just when I wake up
I must admire my own good looks

I see myself in the mirror
And think what a gorgeous man
How can I be so **** cute
And stay as humble as I am

Now I wont sign this poem
For that would be just vain
Plus it could be that I'm dreaming
And I really need to wake

Carl Joseph Roberts
Carl Joesph Roberts
Carl Joseph Roberts
Carl Joseph Roberts
LOL

Fear

They say that fear's a bad thing
But I know some fear is good
It makes you change the way you think
From the way you usually would

It can make you run from danger
Or stop you in your tracks
Allow you to protect yourself
From what you know is bad

The fear that you will hurt someone
Is what makes you bite your toung
Knowing you can't take back the words
Once the damage has been done

You can fear the future or the past
And not allow your life to change
Or face your fear and understand
You choose the path you take

So the next time that you're feeling fear
Know it could be something good
Fear can be the best part of life
Once its understood
FEAR


Carl Joseph  Roberts

When Goodbye We All Must Say

Today I saw my mother
She seems so tired these days
She knows that she is very sick
Still she says it's all okay

She tells us to not worry
There is a time we all must go
She talks about the plans she's made
And the things that we should know

She says that when her fight is done
And she has given all she can
She knows she'll then be ready
To meet her journeys end

We tell her to keep fighting
Dont give up on her life
Inside we know her journey
Must have an end in sight

I dont know really what to do
For this woman I so love
She has raised five children on her own
And not once did she give up

We tell her that we love her
And pretend that we dont see
This disease that has taken her
And dropped her to her knees

I love my mother very much
And want to take from her this pain
I dread that day I know will come
When goodbye we all must say

Carl Joseph Roberts

The waiting time

There's a waiting time of each day for me
Not like I've know before
It's a time of day  when I lay and wait
For my heart to find love once more

Its a time of day when I make believe
That you are still here with me
You made my world lovely and bright
It was the way I dreamed it would be

I want to feel the touch of your hand once more
For in that moment I find
A remembered warmth that we once shared
A closeness of spirits and minds

I see your smile and I hear your voice
Its as plain as if you are here
It makes all of the sorrow and grief I have
Somehow suddenly  disappear

So please, please let me go on pretending
For that is the only way I can bare
For without you the silence surrounds me
And turns my waiting time to tears.

Carl Joseph Roberts

The Peppered Pickle Clown
(Peppered Pickle Day)

This is a story you may not know
And it's banned in pickle town
It's about a peppered pickle
That became a circus clown

He started out his short life
Looking through a stained glass jar
Watching his sweet pickled brother
Become a kosher star

Although his peppered pickled life was sweet
This peppered pickle wanted more
He would join the circus as a clown
And be a smash that fans adored

At first it started slowly
No fans would call his name
But a peppered pickle as a clown
Well thats funny just the same

As time went on he made them laugh
They started yelling for him more
Then a show was given just to him
And a peppered pickle day was born

All the fans they ordered pickles
On peppered pickles they would gorge
Then one day there came a time
When peppered pickles they ran short

The peppered pickle clown knew right then
That it was time to make his mark
So he made a deal with Vlasic corp.
To put peppered pickles in their jars

Well Vlasic corp. invited him
To come take a private tour
They said that he would relish it
And be a cut up in the stores

They put the peppered pickle clown
In a clown chair and tied him down
They said it was for safety
As the belt showed him all around

The belt went slow when starting out
Picked up speed as it went along
The peppered pickle clown was sliced and diced
Vlasic didn't clown around

So remember the peppered pickle clown
When you shop at your home store
He gave his life for stardom
And thats why you now pay more

Today is peppered pickle day
And should be known the world around
Made famous by a sweet delight
The peppered pickle clown

Carl J. Roberts