The day you dilly dallied by the ponds and the fields,
Did you wonder what conditions dared to give yield,
To the daisy. Rouge yet worn.
Did you wonder her past, did you question her scorn?
Or did you stop at her face.
Ignoring her history of disgrace.
Then did you embrace the rain,
and foster her pain?
And did you relish in the days of sun.
The days she grew and prospered in calm.

And if you discovered
She was both water and sun
Would you stay and nurture her,
or would you quit and run.
And if you could stay,
Would you abandon the root,
Forget of the seed,
Pluck out the daisy,
Ane let her be freed.

Some days it feels like I’m only living so I don’t hurt the ones I love,
So I really need you to tell me that you
Love me.

I’m learning to love,
Not the boys in the movies,
Not the men on the shows,
I’m learning to love, not lust.

Love for myself.
Love for every tear I cry,
I’m learning to tell myself I’m accepted,
I’m human.

I’m allowed to be sad.
I’m allowed to want to scream.
I’m allowed to ruin your day with my truth  
Like you have ruined mine.

I am allowed to take
Because I give too much
To have enough to
Love myself.

And I have to love myself.

A life of extremes would be great if I were only ever happy
For when I smile I soar.
But the days I cry,
I unleash
dams
rivers
storms
lakes
oceans
and depths of
pain.


I don’t feel,
I become.

I miss the days when I was flat.
When I was simple and lacked complexity,
When my friends knew all of my secrets,
And I had nothing to hide.
When the greatest worry was a playground romance,
When I could clear my mind at a disco dance,
But now I have become solid.
With layers and layers of pain.
And I can’t hand over the tools to peel
Without excepting I’m not ok.
And I can’t express what I’m feeling,
Because I know that it’s not familiar.

So I’ll look for others,
Who share my tears and cries.
In desperation I seek a friend to whom I do not have to lie.
But I’m left with those who are broken.
Who take and demand my remaining light,
Who pull on the rope that hangs thinner by the day, in jealousy and spite.
So if I should not find someone broken and cannot live with the complete
Am I doomed to an existence of alone and emotional defeat ?

The sun shines in black and white,
Birds sing despite the broke song,
Suffering prolonged.
The river flows to flood the town,
Melodies can’t swim, so they drown,
A day of down.

And since you have been gone,
Everything feels wrong,
And Nature. Seems dead.
The sweetest chocolate, bitter,
The warmest day, a shiver.
I beg to right the wrong.

The wind blows in turgid air,
Emotions, all withered but despair
Our tragic affair.
The paints dry and spoil in colour.
Artist cease to prosper and inspire.
And I am stuck, infinitely,
In an existence devoid of happy.

And since you have been gone,
Everything feels, off.
And nature,
Is, dead.

There are many things
I wish to tell
But I don’t know where to begin.
I dont know if there ’s a shallow end I can tip toe into
I think my only option is to jump.
A splash,
Then the aftershock.
The ripples that never seem to settle.
The heavy words that drown me
Requiring strength I do not have.

But I need to splash,
so I can finally dry off.