or
whats left of it
is gathered
into a thin stack
of failed
polaroids

my thoughts convene
to follow you
the messiah
in their thousands

clamoring;
condemn
me to hell and i
shall suffer, eternally

to mix colors first
the possibility of taking what i know
and obliterating it
for a holocene
a vibrant tabula rasa
forged by my gooey green and yellow fingers
a manifestation in blue

have the force
of a generation

you feel like a coin on my lips
if I open my mouth to speak
you’ll fall in and I’ll choke

perhaps you love them to be kissed

but they are my lips

maybe I’ll learn to swallow the coin
and stop swallowing my words

I see every
god I ever prayed to

learning to love after you
will be like learning to
fall asleep
in a war zone

When I saw you on the beach
chest puffed and shoulders wide
like a soldier, booming
and fighting off the tide
I was screaming with a vigour
I need you by my side
salt stained and blue eyed

My dress clinging to my goosebumps
like cold rain on the mountains
as you took my hand,
and said
"let's go jump off the dock"
even though it was late at night
and I was scared of the sharks
and at the end of all of it...
i'm trying so hard to forget you

it felt like thousands
of red blizzards
were fighting in my throat
and you had replaced my eyes
with ice cubes.

destroy me
with your blue petrichor
seep into my eyes
like rain water
thundering hot from above
and your kisses
baptize in cerulean
my bruised lips
soaked from salty ecstasy
I drown
In your anguished blue

in my subconscious
i wish i could destroy