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 Jun 2020
Batchelor
My own words

Clawed fiery tantrums

Across my contents of the breast


Her very presence

Kissed icy trails

Deep into tissue


She was the very essence of void

Drying up all my fiery wounds

Desiccating me into dust.
Hissing and losing power.

17th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
And with the persistence of silence


I turn to the previous chapters


And relive them once more.
Once more, once more.

16th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
With once forgotten sensuality


I kiss you again.
Put your head on my shoulder, after.

11th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
I wish this cold warmth of assurance could've been shared.

I hoped that you would've come along, as whole as you were.


((As thick as this lead is, my genuinity was for it all.))


But now, as thin and fading my writing becomes

I've become similar, with soul truly bare

And heart, flushed with actual sunlight.
Intermission between wake - sleep - dream - sleep - wake.

10th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
Neither one of us want to say goodbye

Now, I'll be looking you in the eye.


Narrow rivers of red trickle down my arm

Only tears stream down our faces, the knife digging deeper.


Oh, shrouded in grief we became.


Only a minute for us to breathe.


And time resumes, cloaked once again from perception.
Is this loss?

10th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
It was not courage I found, dwelling up inside.

I roared at empty spaces til I bled out.


Neither was it hope, clinging unto shreds.


I tore apart, tattered ataraxia.

I found the elusive line between cacophony & symphony.

Here I lie,


In peace.
A minute
An hour
A day
A year

Calm

9th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
The persistence of loss insinuates that we once had something, only to lose it.


My blood rushed throughout my body, as I felt countless lips pass mine.

My blood rushed throughout my body, as I recalled endless hurt trickling down my eyes.


The persistence of loss states we were once more, then we understood that we lost things we never knew we had.

Our soft pleading drowns out even the shrillest of screams.


So why does loss play on our tongues,

More than ever, moving on?
I know the answer now, after 2019.

I know the answer now, after turning 27.

9th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
She is boundless

Eternal

Tears well up in my eyes

For her love was eternal

As time relinquished its hold over logic

And the sparks reignited frigid hearts

Returning to furnaces of courage, bravery and purpose,


She is the ocean. And she lies asleep, awaiting.
And I will lay eyes on you again, one way or another.

9th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
There have been a dozen homes

a thousand kisses

but only seven wild flowers litter the porch of memories

baring their beauty in stark consistent contrast of concrete

year after year

as if their presence

unyielding

unwelcome

showed that love

would always


stay.
Love, a ****. It never goes away. And always stays..

5th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
Blue was the sky

On that beach

Blue were your eyes

As I kissed you

Now red is what I see

And we fell apart

Taking each apart
Take me apart. And I'll take you apart, a piece of each other forever lodged, even as we form a pearl for others to take.

5th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
The tunes swept over me

the shudder down my spine


Have you finally returned?


Or are you just



Visiting?
Suicide attempt, and the scenery was a blue beyond blue.

5th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
take me with you

whisper gently

as I lay still

burning up & away

as the pills consume warmth

and your cold arms, outstretched

hold me again.
Take me, with you.



9 it all falls apart 9

5th of February, 2018.
 Jun 2020
Batchelor
You fed me something real

fed me something true


Now I'm down with the chills

withdrawing from the terrible lie

of warmth eternal
Yeah, we burn.

But eventually, one of us holds true to the only testament left of us.

**IGNIS SOLUS.**

5th of February, 2018.
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