I still recall the tears that opened after the years fell from your face.

I ask none, but to be strong.

I am and will be walking after you.

Closer and closer I inch, til I one day will be beside you again.

What started off with me, will end with us.

You're my light.

The dark will swallow me, with only your light to dispel it.

From a lord of the moor, to the King In Black.

From a lady in red, to the Red Queen.

Our language, the only one we need.
Our cascade, remorse, repense.
Our beginning, restart, end.

Back to the shadows on my moor.
The Grey Lord into ash..
And the King In Black with a crownless throne.

Even if my life should be snuffed out tomorrow,

For sanity's sake,

I cannot reach out to you anymore.


A stage where the state of best conditions, and good intentions brought ruin.

I'll use this pain, to create the world I always wanted.

Your ash, my embers.

My dark soul, your dying flame.

I wish things could've been easier.
It seems I used up all my shooting star wishes, wishbones and eyelash wishes.


Wishful thinking, wishy washy hopes that somehow without saying a word or muttering a wish everyone would be alright.

I used my prayer for you.
If it wasn't my time to be in your life again, bells would chime and I'd walk away.


But enough talk.

Swish you go.

I wished for an angel to descend,
Only to pluck out their wings and burn the feathers.

I hoped to hold a scent to memory,
Instead scorched earth yet I recall.

Maybe it's me.
Maybe it's me.

I fought to hold what I held dear.
Only for it to slip out anyway, when I wasn't looking.

Now, I'm an idiot in a parade of fools.


With shell and bone, I let go of you.
With iron and stone, I become him.

Leave the king in black be. It's hopeless.

This pain I feel, it's beautiful.
This pain I feel, it's magnificent.

An odd sense of humour, life has.

This closure I have, soul-rattling.
This closure I sought, psychedelic.

No more tears with my years.
No more fears with my years.

I flew too close to the sun.
Now for my own good.

No more.

Finally I am free1
I pay the cost2
The tears dry up0
The time slides by7
The heart's cold winter opens up to the2 eye of the storm0
The throne of want, and the crown of1 irony.*7



Why does this hurt so much?
Is this how normal people do normal things and have normal hearts broken?
Is this the constant loop of emotion and separation, a dance to find the other?
Is it because there's something wrong with the moon tonight, perhaps being born under an unlucky star?
Is this how heartbreak, feels like after all this time?
How do I reconcile my feelings, how do I keep my immaterial guts from spilling out?
Why is it, even after everything, so beautiful?
Why is everything a beautiful wreck, sordid and macabre?
Why is it, that I still am in love?

Bitter pill
Swallowed down
Like a cuckold
But an accidental one
**** dude
You were right
Men like me exist to be used
Heh
No wonder the disdain.
The gut never lies.

The same old lie.
Choking down with ice cold water
Like a game
But one with scalding oil
**** man
Should've listened to you
Heh
Bring it back down
Back into the eye of the hurricane.

Raven feathers litter the cobblestones
black dresses flutter
Dead doves line the sewers
white lies splutter
Treading on brittle ribcages
the centre of his mind
The consumed, mad king looking up
he's home, maybe
Softly broken sirens blare again
it's the end of the world
We're home, I think

"It's like you're not letting me in."
Nonsense. You're projecting.

Perhaps you're right.
Of course I am.

But like a circle, these words come back to haunt me.
Yet like the ocean waves, my body came back to me.

You will forget.
I will forget.

When the time comes, our memories will fade, til spring blooms once more.

This crazy stupid love.

Who would've guessed, us?

Of all people?

**** this*

For the next chump, the next line of idiots after me.

I hope you don't tear your hair out with her.
I hope you don't mind the mess she makes when you think everything is tidy.
I know you will, definitely attempt to change things around for her.
I know you will, definitely sigh in frustration as your efforts all go to waste.
I hope time will be kind to your psyche.
I hope time will be lenient with you.

I daresay this will be your greatest challenge, perhaps conquest or muse yet.
I daresay it's like a hotline you want to make several calls to.
Take it from me. The previous guy.

2 : make progress; develop in a particular manner or direction.


A heart that wanted nothing but to be held with the tightest of vices, yet with the intention of time spinning silk.

Yet, the grey was all it knew.
And when the time came, the heart shattered other hearts, not knowing how it should feel.

Thus, like how the grey began, the grey crawled to a halt, after the domain it lived in grew decrepit, rank.

And it is rain, in the forest.

Obsession, terrible by itself.
What would make you think I would want any of this?

Just recall, I've never liked your shticks.
Recall, who I came to you as.


One thing still bothers me.
One thing still annoys me.

If feeling this way is good,
Like how you said.



Why do I feel so miserable?