I lay here, alone
pushing in pins
feeling my form disappear.
Years spent searching
as blood seeps slowly
sickly sweet
against craving skin.
I will walk in shadow,
when dawn breaks.
Time will snap these hollow bones,
folding my soul
into butterflies
as flight takes hold.
This final girl
will be no more
than she has ever become.
This will be my triumph

I want to paint pictures with my lips
Run to the surface
Break through to the precipice
Of belief,
On an orb
Rotating

And my head is rotating too
It's like my mind is a carousel
Spinning round and round
My universe
Is turning inside out
All I can hear is screams,
Is there anyone out there
Who can feel me?

Grappling with unreality
It's funny to laugh about
Things I did as a teen
But really,
What does it mean?
To move in motions
That don't exist anymore
Why am I exploring a past,
That was only once mine,
And what the hell is time?

What's ancient is in the dirt,
And really,
There's no such thing as poetry
Or therapy
Or reason
Just endless dances with the seasons
Just trying to make sense
Of the endless hurting
Just cracking through your hardened skin
To breathe again

Oh, if I could paint pictures to make them understand--
Make an installation of my mind
Then maybe I'd be understood
Maybe I'd know myself too
But for now
Life is chaos inside me.

In the mango tree
a pair of crows
have made a new home.

While up on the roof
watering the plants
I see the heavenly sight
how they raise their beak
to swallow the trickles
before the heat ***** away
and having this little favor
they're back in usual mood
cawing at their hoarsest
stay away, stay away
come no way near nest
which I do my best to do
stealing a look when they're away
at the three blue nuggets
happy in the thought of
little red hungry mouths

broken
the mangoes would grow
around an empty home.