have you ever noticed how beautiful blood is?
like when you get cut
it gushes and spills everywhere
I cant seem to find the words
like when you slam the knife
after watching it gleaming and shining
into you
What now?
well I could do so much to hurt
to give pain
but no one really cares
and I cant seem to give a ****
what anyone thinks
what anyone feels
because I cant seem to think
to feel
right now
I feel lost.....
or do I?
idk
its done
its gone
I'm alone
atleast I think I am.....
or can I?
can I think and feel?
yet not at the same time?
can anyone answer me?
I am tired.... and gone
I know I have someone.....
but we are far apart....
I am helpless
I am......
Idk anymore....
I just need someone that can understand.....
but they'd need to know me first......
Know my life.
my mind.... that scary place,
my mind is a trap,
a thing of death and scary things,
the things you thought only existed at night
into the dark corners being shadowed
but no
*I am the scariest monster you'll ever meet

I feel so alone
Forget this life
Someone is playing my life
It's just a huge joke
A game to them
I'm about to be done with people
They bring mostly pain
Forget the knowledge
In my fathers eyes I'm a know it all
I guess I'm worthless
It's all so much *******
I'm ******* tired
Growing up I was quiet
I was so..........
I don't even know anymore
My grandma tells me a lot
She says when I was a baby
I didn't cry, not for anything
Infact, I was loved by a lot of people
The gypsys, and a biker gang called Hell's Angels are a couple.........
My mom told me the leader of Hell's Angels even bought me my first car seat, and that he REALLY liked my mom.........I'd like to meet them one day...... To say thank you for everything...... They may remember..... :)
When I was first born, I had a crescent moon on my forehead....it went away a few hrs after birth
The gypsys used to tell my mom about me
Infact it was a gypsy that told my mom I would be born twice blessed and be a girl
My mom thought I was a boy, because I had my legs crossed and I covered my self, so no one could tell from a sonogram......I laugh to here that.....
But even after my life, it's hard to move on sometimes........
I sometimes think about why I'm here
I'm not always wanted
Hell, more people wish me dead than love me or even want me around
People tell me how ******* stupid and ******* I am........ I'm running out of the fake chearfulness to say thank you and smile at them
I swear, I don't belong much of anywhere........so I still wonder why I'm here, going through the ******* that I endure, and have endured for the past several years......I wonder *** I did wrong........ I just don't know.......
I'm just to tired to care anymore.........

Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good'
It didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated, look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than ******* perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're ******* perfect to me

You're so mean (so mean) when you talk (when you talk)
About yourself. You were wrong.
Change the voices (change the voices) in your head (in your head)
Make them like you instead.

So complicated,
Look how we all make it.
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I could think of
Chased down all my demons
I've seen you do the same
(Oh oh)

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than ******* perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're ******* perfect to me

The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and we try, try, try but we try too hard
And it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that, why do I do that (why do I do that)?

(Yeah! Oh!)
Oh, pretty, pretty, pretty

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than ******* perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're ******* perfect to me
(You're perfect, you're perfect)
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're ******* perfect to me.

Who will love me
who will stay by my side
who will be there when I need them most

Sometimes I want to scream
"leave me, everyone does" I'd say
"stop toying with my life"

Sometimes I wonder
'I love unconditionally
what if I never loved at all'

If I had no heart
there'd be no ache
but there'd be a lost and angry soul

Life is misery
love is pain
but my life is a huge joke

I used to believe in many things
like love and mythical fairytales
but that did not last

I grew up looking for good
I knew since I was little
life is not sugar plums and gum drops

I knew the world was made of evil
I saw it all
before I even started middle school

I try to dry the tears
I try to bottle up the pain
but it just wears on me

I could hide my heart
It always beat so sorrowfully
it was always so steady

May you see life
may it be enlightening
may you learn from what you see

I learned to be true to myself
I learned to deal with some pain
I learned life is cruel

Love is a sensitive thing
love can hurt
but love can also feel good

When you find true love
you'll want to dance and sing
just be careful where you step

Things aren't always what they seem
they might look nice
don't base life on looks

I saw life
I saw death
doesn't mean I know them truly

Why didn't I stay
Why did I leave you there
Why am I such a fool

Why, why, why
why am I this way
Why, why, why

Who will love me
Who will stay by my side
Who will be there when I need them most

Who, who, who
Who am I
Who, who, who

What is it that I'm looking for
What is it I see in the world
What can I do

What, what, what
What do you want from me
What, what, what

Tell me what you need
Tell me what you want
Tell me what you see

Tell me, tell me, tell me
Tell me who I should be
Tell me, tell me, tell me

Where do I need to go
Where did I lose you
Where can I find your love

Where, where, where
Where can I find you
Where, where, where

I find these questions
I can't answer them
Does anyone hear me
Can anybody help me

I don't know who you are
But I listen to what you say
I pay attention

I see the way you write
With a strong and swift hand
But I look for your meanings

I see your pain
I listen to your heart
I let you cry on me

You never have to be alone
You never have to be afraid
You don't have to push me away

Listen with your heart
Close your eyes
I will protect you

I will always be there for you
I will make you smile
I will rescue you

I'll take on your pain
I'll hold you close
I'll help you fly away

I'll be the warrior
I see your in distress
I hold my hand out to you

Just take what I offer
I will do all I can
You'll see the new life

So listen to me
Listen with your heart
I have always listened to you

Loving fragrant air
blooming bulbs in night or day
beautiful flowers

I love to smell them
They are always beautiful
they are so pretty

I love to plant them
I like roses and lilies
I do love flowers

She looks at him
he wants her
she smiles
he puts out his hand
they're formal
they dance
a waltz plays
around and around they go
they smile
they spread their wings
they soar
they stay close
they belong with each other
they are in love
the parents smile
the parents approve
the fathers wink at the mothers
she holds fast
he stays strong
their love carries on

I try my best
I do all I can
You don't believe me

How do you know
Know that I don't
Don't try hard enough

Don't you see
I just wanted to keep on
Keep on trying to make it work

How do you know
Know that I don't
Don't try hard enough

Maybe I tried to hard
Baby you didn't see
But why can't you believe

How do you know
Know that I don't
Don't try hard enough

I didn't know you were always right
I didn't know I was always wrong

How do you know
Know that I don't
Don't try hard enough

Everyone tells me I can't
They all put me down
Does anyone know how to make it stop
Can anyone help me get up
Am I to stay down, all alone
Wait, oh, I forgot
You don't know me
You couldn't care less
So why do I keep talking
I tried to get your help
You know I've been there for you
So why aren't you there for me
Why do you keep faking
I've always been right here
You know me when you need me
But now I'm in need
So now you don't know me
I'm just a stranger
Until I get through this and you need me
So, what the hell kinda game are you playing
I'm invisible
Now I'm here
I can't be wonderwoman and superman
Why can't you help me
I help you, don't I
Even though you'd never admit it
All you can do is lie
To my face and behind my back
You don't care
You never really have
So here's my last testament
**Noone cares anymore

Do you even see how you make me feel
Do you know what the thought of you does to me
I love talking to you
I'd love to really know you
I'm young and I'm still learning
I want to know you, what you like and don't
If you have the patience, you can teach me about true love
I'm not skilled in much
But i'm faithful, loving, and true to my heart
If you hold my heart, you hold my undying love and respect
Don't think I'm some childish fool
If I've made an error in my judgement, let me know
'Cause I'd rather there be a quick sting than an everlasting pain

Okay, lets see
life ***** (but we all know that)
people laugh harshly (we've all done this once)
young can't think for themselves (heard this before?)
kids know it all (remember?)
good people die young (it always *****)
and we all go through life (are we puppets?)
the meek get ****** around (and everyone else never really cares)
everyone laughs at anothers pain (and it hurts when it's you)
life is full of BS (and we take it gladly)
And we continue with the stupid s* of life

I feel them coming
They're in my head
I watch the metallic red gushing from me
I throw my head back and laugh
I have to go
I've scared them Again
HAHA
I can't seem to help it anymore
I love the pain, it keeps me away
I need help, love and patience, none of which I have
I love sincerely and I always will, but noone returns my feelings
So I know I'm alone, but atleast I did something
I killed my self, just like they wanted, unfortunately
I don't know what to do anymore, and that's what scares me
The unknown of my strength
I know I could **** if I tried, but I don't know my limit,
Noone does, yet........