Will I always sink back into this?
The cold, smooth acceptance of your apathy
The kind of apathy that whispers
'I don't really love you,'
While it turns the other way,
Far, far, away from you.

The flimsily crafted walls, they're
Crumbling down,
All around me.
You thought it was real;
It was only a dream.
A bad, bad dream.

Or at least I wish it was.

I look into the mirror
Determined to say,
'I'm beautiful, I'm perfect today.'
Then I see the somewhat misshapen nose
The lines underneath my eyes
A brand new pimple on my cheek
Ears that stick out
And all I can think
Is that I will never be beautiful.

Pray.
Wash all the pain away.
A brand new, fresh day
Is calling your name.

Trained to mistrust
To question
To smell out a lie
From miles away.

Trained to guard her
The inner child
She has no defenses
She opens herself up

And I close her
Bury her
Shelter her
Underneath these layers
Of doubt and deception.

I am made of Kevlar,
Solid and strong.
Your hurtful commentary
Just bounces off of me
And your negativity
Leaves no scars.

I'm over here.

                                                       Over where?
Can't you see me?


                                                      I can't see.
Can't you feel me?

                                                     I feel nothing.
I am God.





                                            I am my own God.






                                      ...and I don't need you.