You tell me to be open
Then you close the door,
Just shut it right in my face.
You seem so warm, then you just
Freeze over, leaving me shivering.
I don't understand you.
I don't know what you want from me.
I can't be perfectly lukewarm,
All the time.
I can't read your mind.

Your thoughts are real
But if you feed them,
They become even more real.
They can decide how you feel
If you give them permission.

Fixated, restricted,
My eyes cannot move.
They cannot blink;
The pupils dilate.
My neck is rolling backwards
While my mouth opens, simply gaping,
At the ceiling.

And after he finishes,
The adrenaline stops.
I am left all alone,
All alone with my thoughts.

The memories come flooding back,
And suddenly I am young again.
Suddenly it's so hard to pretend
That I am okay.

At that moment I am just a girl,
Defenseless, confused, and seeking refuge
In my own little world.

Rotting flesh
Can be consumed
By the most possessed
It is a sickly sacrifice
At its best
And the devil is laughing
At all of us.

Every time I write,
It's like the world makes sense again.
Everything is a chaotic blur
Until I can find the words
To describe it all.
The story I'm writing -
Well, it's practically writing itself.
Doesn't really need my help.
And when I sit down,
My fingers typing all by themselves,
I finally feel like I know what my life is about.

It sounds crazy, I know,
But you see, it always talks to me.
Wears me down, makes me question
Everything.
Now even your love is on the table,
Analyzed to death, never able
To stand alone, pure and simple.