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Sep 2013 · 418
shielded
annie Sep 2013
shielded
so self-important
unaware
          that the world
          is crumbling
          right before their eyes
too naïve
          to realize
          the truth
          just outside their grasps
so why
          am I
          not like
          them
Continue reading...
Sep 2013 · 515
slipping
annie Sep 2013
slipping
I forgot
what it meant
to be happy
so I fell
s l i p p i n g
   d
     o
       w
         n
never
touching the ground
no space
to move
to grow
to live
e x i s t i n g
in a false
reality
no escape
(not that I really want one)
stuck
in this hole
no
way
out
Continue reading...
Aug 2013 · 283
Untitled
annie Aug 2013
Untitled
walls
all around me
                                crumbling
self I destruction
due to unforseen
                                intentions
not by me
by
                                 you
just looking
for a way to
                                  have
a sense of hope
after this is all
                                   destroyed
but alas, the one hurt
is not you, but
                                   me
Continue reading...
Aug 2013 · 470
story of my life
annie Aug 2013
story of my life
dear daddy
I'm sorry
for making you feel
bad enough
that you had to lash out
back at me

dear daddy
I'm sorry
for not being your perfect daughter
one you could
be proud of
love
forever

dear daddy
I'm sorry
for everything I've said
through tears
through pain
that obviously caused you
so much suffering
that you needed to be mad at me

dear daddy
you should be sorry
for the years
that you stole
from me
in your frenzy
for power
glory
and love

dear daddy
why are you not sorry
for hurting
your little princess
you were my king
but now
I am just
another ghost
in your castle halls
just another teenage girl with daddy issuea
Continue reading...
Aug 2013 · 1.2k
trending
annie Aug 2013
trending
***
youre depressed
cool
me too
let's be best friends

wait up guys
I'm totally depressed too
my boyfriend
just dumped me
and now
I'm totally over him
but I'm acting sad for sympathy

aha
excuse me
but I think
I'm depressed
too
I mean
I haven't
ever
felt like everything was worthless
but I just
chipped a nail
and I feel sad

excuse me
but I don't believe
that is the meaning
of depression
mental illnesses
are not a choice
are not something
you should want
you should wish upon
your worst enemy
next time
you say
"***
I haven't eaten
in like
3 hours
I must be
anorexic"
think about
what that really
m.  e.   a.   n.   s.
Continue reading...
Aug 2013 · 845
hurting
annie Aug 2013
hurting
defensive
holding up
against the perpetual fall
of degrading words
piercing through every so often
widening the holes until I am left
defenceless
slowly being
stabbed
in all the right places
but somehow
still needing
to add a little
pleasure
periodically
Continue reading...
Aug 2013 · 383
inconceivable sadness
annie Aug 2013
inconceivable sadness
stop making me feel like ****
yes, you
the one who vowed
to love me
hold me
nurture me
keep me safe
        in your arms

you do nothing
but tear me down
is it
just to hear your voice
or is it
just to hear my cries

or maybe
you genuinely think
I am a terrible person
maybe this time
you're right
I think so
Continue reading...
Aug 2013 · 315
look
annie Aug 2013
look
you've told me before
i'm nothing
             to you
worthless

i know

that if you ever saw me
how i wished
you would
you would see
something
              everything
far from
the me
you once
          (never)
knew
Continue reading...
Aug 2013 · 490
hey lovely
annie Aug 2013
hey lovely
you
are nothing but
the cool breeze
on the hottest of days
drifting off the ocean
smelling of briny
healthy life
inspiring hand-holds
first kisses
and sighs off relief

you
are everything
serene and lovely
about the way that the world smells after the first rain
following a long drought
spreading the promise of new life
children frolicking in the fresh fields
total disregard
for anything
that could try to spoil their fun

but you
cannot see this
i do not understand
why
or
how

all i know
is you
are lovely
and
you
are everything
Continue reading...
Aug 2013 · 452
no escape//eternal smiles
annie Aug 2013
no escape//eternal smiles
what if I told you
a story
of a girl
who always felt inadequate
never enough
but then
she got better
sewed on a smile
and tried on a new lens
to help her see clearer

what if I told you
this was not how the story ended
instead
the lens was shattered
leaving her with
blurred reality
the smile was ripped away
leaving her with
more scars than before

what if I told you
the story could never end
the cycle would repeat
for all of eternity
no way out
nothing to change
no way to hide it
not any more
inspired by some close friends. stay strong.
Continue reading...
Jul 2013 · 268
no more
annie Jul 2013
no more
i am drowning
no really
i cannot breathe
i cannot think
i am consumed

struggling
to stay afloat

i am unable
to pursue
a normal existence
when there is
         n   o   t   h   i   n   g
for me
to grasp onto
Continue reading...
Jul 2013 · 578
predicament
annie Jul 2013
predicament
i've developed
a predicament
not a traditional one
like the sun being beautiful
but not wanting a tan

my heart
is consuming
my mind
with its petty
wants
and wishes

telling it
to put
life
on hold
for its simple desires
too risky to try
too terrifying to not

but how
can i not give in
when it is all me
even if
i know
it is truly
never
me
v. confused today, hence the confusing words
Continue reading...
Jul 2013 · 496
mother
annie Jul 2013
mother
hold me
like a father would his babe
like a lover would his mate

hold me
until the day I die
         let me die in your arms

hold me
protect me from this storm
that I seem to be unable to escape

hold me
through this muddled pond
full of unforseen circumstances and unforgettable consequences

hold me
when I cannot hold myself
anymore
Continue reading...
Jul 2013 · 608
literally
annie Jul 2013
literally
drowning
in her despair
self-inflicted
and put upon her
by him

ripping
every fibre
of her being
apart

she is
no longer
a little girl
she has metamorphisised
into a creature
not even
human

why
did he destroy her so
why
does he continue
to exist
if it means
she
can exist
no longer
a little bit of (very) unstructured poetry, finding it hard to collapse my thoughts into proper words right now
Continue reading...
Jul 2013 · 568
murder
annie Jul 2013
******
the scream
of ****** ******
from a child
too young
to possibly
comprehend the consequences
of her ways
paving the path
to no dead bodies
lining the streets
no
just
broken souls
Continue reading...
Jul 2013 · 345
the light went out
annie Jul 2013
the light went out
on that night
when she had no idea
what was coming
(what had gone)
she reverted back to the
girl
she used to be
but that girl
would not let
her be
that
girl
wanted to stay
locked
away
never causing the pain and suffering brought once before
but
she
let the girl
out
thanks to
him
(not him but
him)
so
thanks
too late to be writing this, it doesn't even make sense. oh well.
Continue reading...
Jun 2013 · 587
on graduation
annie Jun 2013
on graduation
final
smiles
hiding
distress in the
uncertainty
of what is
to come

final
words
everything
left unsaid
but
nothing
left to be said

final
hugs
expressions
of affection
real
unreal
unthinkable

final
tears
sadness
that's not quite
sadness
but something
like pain
graduated yesterday. this past year has been downright miserable at points, but reading my yearbook, I can see I was truly loved, and I will miss everyone
Continue reading...
Jun 2013 · 902
smiles
annie Jun 2013
smiles
smiles
are for
first kisses
clumsy and sloppy
but full of passion
and love

smiles
are for
wedding days
where the love of our lives
promises to be with us
forever

smiles
are for
intimate encounters
euphoric loving
exploring the depths of our souls
like no-one has before

smiles
are for
new life
first wails
late nights
all for a child's love

smiles
are for
first steps
careful and stumbling
but beautiful
nonetheless

smiles
are for
scrapes and bruises
falling
but getting back up
over again

smiles
are for
first loves
nervous hands
holding
tight

smiles
are for
betrayals
never
to trust
again

smiles
are for
long nights
alone
listening to
her favourite song

smiles
are for
deepest regrets
punishing herself
for another's
faults

smiles
are for
silent cries
no idea
how to fix
anything

smiles
are for
last breaths
with whispered apologies
to everyone
and everything

smiles
are for
final discoveries
too late
to make
a change
long, but i think it is powerful :)
Continue reading...
Jun 2013 · 866
let go
annie Jun 2013
let go
just let go
of the memories
we held so dearly
that now tickle your consciousness
and dance within your nightmares

just let go
of reality
slip into the arms
of false pretenses
and shattered promises

just let go
of existence
it is of no use
to a soul that is shredded
and empty
Continue reading...
Jun 2013 · 371
12:19
annie Jun 2013
12:19
and at 12:19 am
she came to the realization
that the reversal of the situation
may lead to positive consequences
after all
Continue reading...

— The End —