please just leave me
but don't go
i love you more
than you'll ever know

i love your touch
i love your taste
please don't let her
take my place

you made a mess
inside my brain
after your touch
the first time came

i cannot breathe
i cannot feel
you make this life
seem so unreal

you hurt my head
you hurt my heart
took everything
with your depart

i crave to feel
i crave to see
how life could be
if i was free

but deep i know
that if you go
i cannot make
it on my own

i'm not sick yet
but it will come
you make me think
i ought to run

but i cannot
it must be you
that leaves this hole
this hole of blue

please just leave me
but don't go
i love you more
than you'll ever know

speak, they say
let the words peer out
let your ideas shine
but if i am the golden sun
they are the blackout curtains
i cannot see past them
the world can no longer see me
i try to push through
to find another way around
and let them feel my warmth
let them know i am more than the cold blackness that they see
show them all that i can shine
show that i am not dull and distant as they know me
but i have been blocked out
censored
by those who do not wish to see
do not wish me to be who i am
do not wish to feel
what i could make glow
what i could make grow
they take it all and lock it up
throw the key away
and they will never tell me why
but i know that i will burn them down someday
i refuse to be extinguished

how is it raining

when you are the sun
shining bright and lighting the world
dissolving darkness into colour

when you fill my mindspace
poking out through every crack
chiseled by those who came before

when you evaporate my memories
making me forget the danger
of getting too close too quickly

because when comets fly around the sun they burn

sometimes i close my eyes and all i see is black
i am alone, there is nothing else in the world.
it is peaceful, until i begin to think:
what if there is nothing else? what if this is all there is?
does my existence really matter this little? what is the point?
i think and think but someday i'll realize that
my thoughts matter as little as my life.
but sometimes i close my eyes and all i see is white
i am a speck in the sea of wonder that is the universe.
it is comforting, until i begin to think:
what if there is something else? what if it is truly infinite?
does my existence really matter this little? what is the point?
i think and think but i've come to realize that
my thoughts matter as little as my life.

they lie to children
saying they will get smarter
wiser with their years

they lie to children
saying they will be free
no longer confined by rules spoken and not

they lie to children
saying they will be happy
surrounded by friends and family

help I'm drowning
as my life bled from my veins
dripping down to the floor
washing away the clots in my mind
I guess it flowed too strong this time
engulfed me within myself
left me struggling to breathe
stuck in the hole I dug myself
with years of self-hatred and a lack of reality
I was too weak to swim with the rolling tide

push out emotions
a sad here a mad there
make them leave
make me numb

take in surroundings
a girl here a boy there
make it stop
make me love

give up morals
a cut here a slash there
make it burn
make me cry

throw down consequences
a "why" here a "how" there
make it "right"
make me numb