one heart
all alone it beats
thump thump thump
against ribs it knocks
trying to break free
one heart
encompassed by flesh
bones and blood
repeating its cycle
continously
one heart
all alone in darkness
its defenders have groups
lungs coupled
ribs
theres alot
one heart
forever alone
it sits and beats
giving life
to those it envies
one heart
it awakens
after never sleeping
and sheds
a ****** tear

it seems that no matter how hard i try
a perfect day can never be
i get bored
and i get lonely
so i go and take pictures
to make a scene that seems serene
is not like it seems
the lightings never right
so changes i do make
and i come to find
that even the best
can not make the
fake world perfect with ease

in class assigned work to do
distracted
i think of you
wishing i could once more
hold your hand
and be in the high heaven
that i once knew
in class i think of you

you destroyed my life
ruined my hopes and dreams
embarresed me in front of people I know
and strangers as well
now you flirt
once more
wanting me back
I am not as foolish
as I was
before I met you
you want me back?
well I dont want you
the answeer is
and always will be
NO

when i try i fail
never will i become
a hero
forever a zero
my hopes crushed
my heart is dust
clumped inside me
when i try i fail
so i give up
until i try again

why am I here
no reason to continue
no reason to try

one for my friend jakob and his grand mother
one for my own mother and her troubles
one for my brother and his failures
one for scott and his bald head
one for my aunt and her addiction
for my cousin and her children
for jesus
for the sinners
the poor
the rich
the beaten and hurt
the loved
the lovless
for victims
for survivors
i shed a tear
for you what ever your troubles may be
there is a tear for you

writing, working, weeping
thinking, trying, teasing
the women that flow to me
when i cant take them
my friends and family suffering
world hunger
hate
disease
why cant i stop
the madness
why cant i stop
thinking of her

yesterday i saw
love in a teenager
the passion that strives inside all of us
the want and need for companionship
the shadows of misconception and deceit
be brightened by the heart of a lover

yesterday i saw
hatred in the eyes of love
fury and rage
swarmed in the soul
anger escaping the body
i saw love run from the soul and become anger
within seconds

today i saw
companionship
i saw comfort from  someone who does not love
saw emotions in the rock of a man

i saw things that make the heart beat
and mourn
i saw for the first time
i saw life
in all of its glory
and defeat

as an addict i go all out. one thing alone does notplease me. so i became addicted to multiple things such as:

writing what i think so i dont go crazy

putting smiles on peoples faces even if i dont know them

having dreams of being rich and successful though it wont happen

believeing in fairy tales no matter how ridiculous

trying to be the best person i can be

caring for people that hate me

but these are only the things that make me high i also am addicted to downers as well:

looking love in the face for it to not recognize you

going out of your ay to impress others

thinking of love and making your heart cry

slamming your head against the wall to try and end the pain

so yes im an addict but who cares that doesnt change who i really am inside. so any thing that life throws at me a grab and become addicted to

I have a girlfriend
she is not you
though i often wish
this was not true
to kiss and hug
and be snug
i want to be
my heart wants to be
with a girl who cares
and does not play
with feellings of others
when asked a question
you quickly reply
not let me think
for over a week
i waited
before giving up


destanie
cant you see
that those guys use you
for your body
and that i am different
more of a man
because i am brave
now i know that i often
seem like a creep
but i cant sit here
and le tyou mourn and reep
your heart broken
yet again
by another liar
one who wants nothing
but a one night stand
but your blinded
a veil drawn over your eyes
the world confusing you
so that you cant see
that i wanted you
to be with me
we are both now eighteen
well in a few days
but you dont care
true love is not enough
to overcome
the stuggles
of winning your heart
maybe if i wanted something fake
then together we could be
but ugly and poor
just never goes
with the beautiful and rich
cody will never be
with Destanie

confusing
*** is not love
nor is kissing
or holding hands
calling each other
nope not love
spiting an ex
just not cool
fighting with one another
threatening to **** the other
felling bad about it
apologizing
accepting defeat

decades you both awake
smiling
thanking god for finding
the one you wanted
having kids
being sick.
being poor
begging for food
to feed the children

being lost without her
confused without him
two caskets
side by side
for all eternity
this is love

Why do we have to feel such loneliness and despair

time slowly ticks away
ever to fast
at the same time
i try to hurry
and let everyone know
before its to late
time is running short
no
go away
i have so many things to do
leave me alone
i dont want to go
i run
full speed ahead
it catches my heels
and then

I fall in the dirt
pushing the worms away  I rise
my opponent is scared
knowing my strength he runs
my love  chases the evil
devouring the strong and making them weak
I push them in the dirt

When will the time come
Where i will not have to worry
Or cry
Over the world
When will i be given the chance
To quit hiding my self
And run
Into the widespread arms of confidence
Embraced by the warmth of love and compassion where weeping is no longer a feeling
When will the time come
Where love is powerful
And hate is unknown

the girl that inspires me
and loves me
for who i am

have a good day
rise from bed early
as jesus did the grave
celebrate with love
work hard
at playing
happy easter to everyone!

Walking around no matter where I go
Thoughts of you rummage through my brain
Stuck in there by some unknown glue
People cling to me
Asking for help
Knowing I will listen
As a stranger in a familiar world
I am still surprised
How quickly comments can stick
Like dirt on the body when wet
The mess made bigger when I try
To rub you off
And you become even more
Sticky

I dont know what to do or how to feel

why cant i awake from this nightmare we call life

it is probably the easiest thing i have ever done

i seriously think
that by adding some effort
you can become
someone worth reasoning with

not when i have paper or pen
not in the light of day
surrounded by people
not by you
the light of my life
and my reason to live
this is not
when i think
in the dark
cold and alone
thoughts rush in
my mind invaded
people, places, things
i can't focus
when i think
it is an accident
but no matter what
the crazy ideas
of killing people
or talking the next day
when i think i forget
my mind goes blank
until i turn off the light
and try to sleep
thats when i think