i cut ladders
up and down
my legs
my arms
my stomach

maybe
if i cut just deep enough
space the
perfect straight lines
just so
just this far apart

i will be able to climb
up up up

dig my feet into
the bright pink muscle
push the skin apart

and climb the bean stock
to a universe
where

my skin is not too tight
my eyes are not broken
my seams are not ripping
my soul is not shattered

spiralling
out
of
c o n t r o l

saveme

i make ladders
full of hope
because i have none

don't touch me unless you mean it
don't mistake me for another pawn in your games
or a piece of trash you can throw away once you've tainted it
i'm a person
a person who wants your attention
your acceptance
your compassion

don't touch me unless you mean it
don't try to convince me with every caress and kiss that i'm a prize to be won
that I could be yours forever if I just placed my trust in you
then leave once you've received my love
my heart
my innocence

don't touch me unless you mean it
don't offer me your world
then take it away like it was a mistake to offer it in the first place
don't make me part of your game
along with all the other girls you've tossed aside
the other girls whose hearts you've stolen
you've mistreated
you've broken

Welcome to 4 A.M.

Where almost nothing ever happens and the universe sits mostly still, where indie music is life and where photography is heaven. Where silence is golden and life is absolute. Where we all wish to be, and where only a select few of us can go and handle it.

Welcome to 4 A.M.

Where we lie in limbo, waiting for the sun to come up, the moon to go down, the median between life and whats left of the dark decay of lifelessness. Where Your eyes open wide, where your thoughts wander into the void of the infinite. Where we wait to see the beginning, the middle, and the end.

Welcome to 4 A.M.

Welcome to the dead, the living, the mourning, the crying, the sad, the happy, the over energetic, the under enthusiastic, the over enthusiastic, the insomniac, the insane, the beautiful, the quiet, the peaceful, the thoughtless and thoughtful, the kind, the caring, the listeners, the wonderful and magnificent, the open minded and wide eyed sleepless.

Welcome to 4 A.M.

Where we wander, searching for answers in our sleep. Where we wait for contact and a view into what we think is the future, and where here, we wait for the future. Where we sleep only to be dreaming of our answers we are searching for and never getting the full answer to questions like-
"Who am I?"
"What am I?"
"Who do I love?"
"Who loves me?"
"Why am I here?"
"What awaits me today?"
"Who thinks of me?"
"Who are my friends?"
"Who are my foes?"
"Who are the friendless?"
"Who am I to judge someone?"
"Who are they to judge me?"
"What is left for there to question if I already know the answers to my questions?"

This is what we ask, and wait for...

Welcome to 4 A.M.

Where our mindless infinite, grows! To be ever infinite into the oblivion of exaggerated proportions and ridiculous time! Where everything meets the beginning, the middle and the end. Where life dies, starts, and lives once more for us as humanity to enjoy through one more day, for us to catch our breath, and to breathe the dead and living. For our eyes to capture the very beauty of life through blinking as if our eyes where the lens to a camera and our brains the film to feed it.

All in one quiet, peaceful, beautiful, and insane, hour. Everything lives, dies, and starts over again.

Welcome to the beginning, the middle, and the end.
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Welcome to life.

Good morning.