Falling asleep alone is like growing
into something that you do not
recognize
Loving every inch of yourself until
your shadows take over
when the light fades and midnight becomes your sunshine
You are glad to have your own bed to rest your weary eyes
but you know it is not where you belong
And you know this
because you've seen love
You've seen who you are
You've seen who you could be
Being alone
is not a gift
Being alone is nothing
You matter when you are
loved

Velocity increases in each everlasting void
of days and time in years and lifetimes
never standing still, never holding onto
these holes
I fall under
I lose myself in the now
I lose you in the speed of tomorrow
and I can never seem to stay
in one place
I'm beginning to see that
wherever I am
where I think that I belong
I am no longer.

I'm already dead but **** me anyway
**** me until my
bones crumble
skin dissolves
tears resolve my broken
years
Days and days I waited for this,
to see you in my dying light
the way I had always dreamed you would
love me
Love me love me love me
**** me
until my
soul shatters
mind melts
heart cracks and fills up with
you
Because when I'm with you
I know
I've already met death

In your eyes I see myself and my nights alone when I
              stayed up till six and slept away the days
missing and longing for someone I had yet
to know
I've loved you            since I saw the sun rise
I saw you in the green of the earth
I felt you in the roots of my soul
I heard you in my dreams,
               the only thing I could ever need
                        was inside of you
And I searched through and through in
empty people
        and lonesome souls
for wholeness and love
when I knew all along
                you were right there with me

I can no longer wait for my moon to rise.
The lune in my iris screams for renewal
yet the sun is up and morning is nearing.
Dawn will break and my tears will shatter
broken glass falling into the sky
I dissolve into the rising of my future
while the past is still,
silenced in my soul.
I beg for the midnight sky to awaken me
because the moons kiss is worth more
than a sunny day
to me.

My heart bleeds when I think of myself
ripping my colorful canvas
eating my rainbows and gradients
until there is nothing
but soul.
You see through that soul
as a window,
you don't see
me.

I'm still here
when you don't see me.
I am not glass for you to destroy
when your hands crave broken pieces,
I am art that cannot be forgotten.

your light
is unattainable
and it never
seems to fade
with you.
to be alone
in myself
is hell
and there is no escape
from this danger
scorching the dreams
of myself.
I am the charred lips
that kiss your hips
before dawn breaks.
do not leave me alone.

why can't I find a way
to love this hell
I put myself in?

it digs me deeper
and deeper
into myself
and you never seem to
fade.

maybe
once I leave this world
you will no longer be a part
of me
but still
I cannot see myself
escaping this dark
without
you.