This is the fire that dies when the wood freezes;
when the ground releases the sun is when we will meet again.
In the winter: light December nights
are all we remember.
Sparkling snow and champagne problems
bubbling to the surface of our existence.
Who are we? Where have you been?
Why does your soul dance with flames in the midst of my ice age?
I need your warm. I need your fire.
I am frozen lumber in the middle of
December.

Two Virgos meet; an occurrence far from promiscuous.
As the ******. Sensual, but modest.
Like silver beauty that would never lose purity, no matter how potentially pleasing she may be.
Quiet,
but touch the right spot, and you’d never hear silence again.
We love shattering the alignment of the planets. Misconfiguring.
It was the one thing that made us clean. It brought me joy. It brought him joy. Exploding together with salty sweat and saliva. Like white constellations bursting at the end of lifetimes, heated by love and light. Becoming one another in hasty motions, fast and slow. Soft and hard. Wet and loud. Slapping, punching, biting, *******, licking, kissing, done.
Losing purity with each stroke, until we reach clarity once again.
So is it irony, or am I just too *****?
The stars make patterns that tell me I am to be slight in my attempts to fornicate. I will be admired for my beauty. My resilience to resist. Resist him, resist her, resist what those will force upon you.
Trust in the skies. The stars expect me to fight this urge. Remain a ******. Stay pure. Do not destroy your youth.
But when two virgos meet, the urge is unbearable. The resistance is no more. Slight eye contact is the way to the soul, the way to become one, to ******, and return.
A brief escape, but we always return.
In the eyes of two virgos is endless pain. I see his when he comes. In his wide eyes, open and forgiving. Vulnerability is what he needs and I see what he cannot hide. We two virgos come together as one. We cannot deny.
These two virgins have vanished and will never be again.
We are two gorgeous arrangements of light reminded to be less.

I live in shades of dreams
craters in my brain make way for the imagination to run
into winds of white and purple mist
Shimmering down through my eyes
to shine the rusting youth that always seemed to lack
luster.
I ask why I could never win the
brilliance
of the skies. Of the hawks flying high with so much pride.
Not too much to discourage the observers
but dignified enough to ignite a craving
for growth.
To prosper.
A pedestal
worthy of winning over my sight.

This absence follows behind me where I walk;
This absence is pure
This absence is silent
This absence is the white wind I see in my dreams
pushing me forward, continually running
until this absence feels no pain.
This absence is good, with no evil beneath
This absence taught me how to love,
never needing much
This absence was angelic,
this absence died out with light in its presence.
Pay attention to your absence.
Give it love even when it fades to gray
and turns into the wind.
The absence behind me is
golden,
perfect and old
yet a youthful soul
black when your eyes meet
but glorious in its core.
This absence will never leave me.
This absence
will never leave me.

All that is left of me is
organs and blood
brains and hatred for those who forgot me.
Looking for that piece of me I lost long ago, when I wronged and rebelled.
I crave wholeness in cigarettes and men, scars and sleep.
I just need
wholeness.
To be whole again. To rid of this hole in my heavens. To renew the youth in my lungs. To restore the glory in my eyes. To cry in lieu of joy, smiles, laughter and infinite hope.

Is it real or a fable?
Dare I question the existence of myself,
my friend's reality and my
lover's willpower
his father's dignity and my own flaws
when passing times get tired and my tears weigh endlessly on their shoulders
Repetitive roads leading to ends
that I am not prepared to reach
Yet, those close to me are approaching death
and they greet her with open arms.
Apart my soul rips, depart they must.
I recognize their pain, they accept their fates
and I am still
here.
I am still
breathing.
I have this  blood
and two  lungs
and thousands of  dreams
that come alive in my dying sleep
I promise to resurrect
the loss you have endured.
With my life
you will live on.

I feel fingers pressed into the abscess of my throat
the missing pieces from when
I didn't tell you that
I needed you
But tonight I'll sit alone
poking around my throat
discovering new ways to feel pain
My tongue cries,
the strongest muscle in the human body
cannot comprehend
that now, you are but a memory.
I wish I could scream
I wish you could see me dying
I wish you could see this blue
The blue echoing on my lips
The color of the secrets I keep
hidden in the hickeys you left me
to watch as they never seem to ******* fade
no makeup will hide
the fact that you
will never need me
like I needed you