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 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
He aims at his head
With the bullet
But he shot her
through
the heart.
And she cries..
"These violent delights
Have violent ends."
He was. She is.
She can't stand it.
Death in the form
of suicide.
In the youth's eyes.
He flies.
"There is no God"
She said to me.
"Because my Jamie is dead."
Hot, hot shower.
Skin is red.
"He's dead."
 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
He looked at me.
He always knows
What's in my heart.
It always shows.
He knows my mind and outer fears.
He knows the signs I figure
Are unclear.
This guy,
He understands my world.
He loves me dearly,
And protects me so.
Although,
I do not give
Him the Time
Of Day.
He'll stay.
And wish,
Wish for me.
But I am not in
Love.
I am merely just
Loved.
 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
These people-
******* teens-
Can get the ****
Away from me.
Gossip and hormones,
STD's,
These kids
Will be the death of me.
They laugh at the weak
And worship the rich.
They don't have a job,
But they get what they wish.
Designer purses, and wallets and shoes.
Buckle jeans, skinny and lean,
'Cause they can afford healthy foods.
"My car has a scratch, daddy.
Buy a new one."
While I'm 17 years old,
Working a part time job,
Walking to school.
With pants 3 sizes to big,
Because I can't afford food,
So I don't eat at all.
I have bills to help pay,
Because my parents are broke.
And the only fun I get,
Is when I can smoke,
And when I get pills,
And when I can work.
I hate this ****,
It's so annoying,
Explaining why my mommy,
Can't afford me a ride..
Can't afford me a home,
Or a haircut,
Or glasses.
I walk home from school blind,
But I can't see their *****,
Driving by.
With all the expensive luxuries..
 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
He walks through the door,
And he holds me tight.
I can feel it already,
Starting to rise.
He picks me up gently,
Throws me down on the bed.
Touches my body,
And kisses my neck.
My hands slide down
His chest,
Looking for the tool,
I need
to fix
my
needs.
We don't use a ******,
'Cause I'm on the pill.
So he unbuttons my jeans,
And I'm begging for more.
He takes of my shirt,
sets it down on the floor.
He takes a deep breath,
As I undo his jeans,
Open my mouth,
Aiming to please.
His hand is on my head,
And I pick up the speed.
He pulls it out,
and I say,
"Put it inside me."
He does what I ask,
And says,
"Oh my god, you're so wet.
And so tight, oh god.."
And he slams into me.
While I begin to scream.
Scream his name,
And scratch at his back.
All fairytales,
Have a happy ending.
He indeed had,
A happy ending.
All over my chest.
 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
The floor is starting to roll from underneath me..
I can't see
Through the fog.
The music is pumping
Throughout my veins.
My heart is set,
On vibrate.
My lungs might explode,
As the drug takes it's toll.
And the walls start to move,
Now I'm down on the floor..
Where is my friend?
Why did she leave?
Chelsea?
This guy helps me up,
As he fills up my glass.
I sip at the *****,
And dance to the beat.
I spill my drink.
He laughs at me,
And pulls me aside,
Asking me if I want a good time.
I think he means ***,
But possibly drugs.
And drugs,
Make everything twice as fun.
I asked if he's holding,
He said he was.
But only if,
I
Can
Please.
Exchange *** for drugs,
Man that sounds kind of rough..
But I do it.
And it was,
Fun.
 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
I have survived,
With only half of my heart broken,
With as much dignity as what's been taken, and
Hope as far as I can throw it.

I have trained myself,
To be aware of what is worst to come,
To close my eyes in darker times, and,

To know that I cannot be loved.

I have faced,
A rope that leaps to outer space,
A cliff with rocks and waves down at it's base, and
Held on to,
A crack head with my name.

Although the lesson that I learn is never the same,
The outcome remains.
I was ruined,
Painted smile to be seen.
Never seeing the rotting core to the depths of me.

Healing.

You must first fall,
To stand again.

Straightened.
 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
This life is at a standstill.
I can repeat the lie but I know it isn't true.
What can you do,
When the future is thriving,
But the past is dead?
Those young faces are cold and distant.
I'm not the little girl I once was.
So full of hope and ignorant,
The small things meant much more to us.
I'm not letting go,
Or saying goodbye.
But I won't blame you if you try.
 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
Are you there..?
I always think you're listening.

It's got me censoring.

Perhaps my thoughts are just so loud,
You can hear them through the walls.
My own thoughts are not safe here.
I yell so loudly,
That only sleep can keep it down.
Only sleep,
When I scream at myself.
Sometimes yelling is the only way,
To keep the whispers out.
 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
I can go forever,
Searching the walls for smiles.
Higher.
You bring such a light.

If you can just keep smiling,
Everything might be alright.


"Give it a go,
Just hold it in, then blow."

Fly.

Cut straws remind me of that place.
The lingering smell gives me a headache.

Empty pens that we've misplaced..
Bring back the memories disgraced.

*Wipe that ******* smile off your face.
 Sep 2014 Clinton Stremme
Alexis
You grow up farther away,
From the truth of,
Our youth.
In the form of morning,
You approach me as if,
There was something to say.
But you always walk away.
Nothing else can see you,
In the light that I do.
But you press on,
As if you never knew my name.
Remember me,
When you're old and grey.
Remember me as if I stayed the same.
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