Mournful melancholy
is a frozen staircase.
The ice is blue and white
and it cracks in the spring sun.
I slip and hit my head
and stare up at the sky.

I contempate, is this my fate?
Nothing comes to mind.
I've lost the light, fallen down,
No hope here I'll find.
No strength remains, in my heart,
There's nothing I can do.
For in the dark, I have lost,
My will to sail this storm through.

They spit on me, with their apathy,
Why can't they understand?
I'm all alone, far from home,
Lonesome broken man.
Inside of me, only misery,
I'm done it's too late.
I'm letting go, breaking off,
Full of fear and hate.

So take your world, take it all,
It is lost to me.
In the cold, my soul unfolds,
This you'll never see.
Broken thoughs, haunt my mind,
There will be no rest,
Is this the end?, surely not,
Mors principium est.

1.  Silence always means he's thinking about his deep and everlasting love for me.
2.  Farts are his way of glorifying my existence.  And burps always get a "God bless you."
3.  Him and Gary the get-well-gorilla want me to be happy.
4.  On OKCupid, the opening line of his first very first message to me was "Bonjour!  While reading your profile, I noticed you're into gaming."
5.  He found that street, you know, with the black mailbox at the end of it.
6.  I have never wished for him to "find an antique rocking chair to die in." (ESOTSM)
7.  We will have a hammock in our attic.  And a room for our four cats, named Fiona, Penelope, Montozo, and Ernesto.
8.  We will kiss in a tent in a woods, and then kiss in Paris, and finally settle which is more romantic.
9.  [R]Otman's Ottomans is our future enterprise.
10.  Oh, and, uh, I guess I love him, and stuff.

The machines beeped
in time with my heart
which was getting
faster
by the minute.
It was actually
sending me messages
to leave this place.

The nurse took
my blood
but I don't even remember
the needle going in.

Too bad
they won't find
what's infected
my mind.

Outside, the snow melts
beneath
my bare feet.
The air meets my breath
and turns to fog.
"Help me!"
I shout until
the world is spinning;
I'm spinning
downwards
and I can't
stop.

I'm lifted up
onto a cloud
and I'm floating away
from this earth.
My family is carrying me
back inside
to the safety of my house,
but not carrying me
away
from the explosion
of my mind.

I.
The devil is right outside
my window.
I never knew he dressed
in all black.
He says hello
and I see the bag of mail
he's carrying.
The devil is not
a mailman.
What is my brain doing to me?

II.
Time to take my pills.
The nurse hands me
the cup.
The ******* one
will **** me.
"It's a vitamin,"
says the nurse.
"Nothing bad
is going to happen
to you."

There are never any suicides in the quarter among people one knows
No successful suicides.
A Chinese boy kills himself and is dead.
(they continue to place his mail in the letter rack at the Dome)
A Norwegian boy kills himself and is dead.
(no one knows where the other Norwegian boy has gone)
They find a model dead
alone in bed and very dead.
(it made almost unbearable trouble for the concierge)
Sweet oil, the white of eggs, mustard and water, soap suds
and stomach pumps rescue the people one knows.
Every afternoon the people one knows can be found at the café.