Sometimes thoughts of my own
seem able to imprison my words,
break them in half and try and become
someone’s fantasies.
They cast sleeping inspiration upon my morning
with a murmur falling by the side
of my heart’s mysteries.

All of my problems glance easily
off different sides of stones
placed in the dust
I tend to keep beneath my feet.
My eyes see them come undone
until they are no longer fit
to sail with me
or drink from my cup
where all beauty is sweet.

Shamed by care Fear smiles and flutters
behind every forceful word heard
through the translucency it retains.
All of my confidence that has separated
then faces itself to meditate
on all that is brightly lit,
here to remain.

The ground does not pass judgment
same as a soldier leaps to exhibit nobleness
throughout this hemisphere
full of thinking men.
However, greed can leave you
half-empty and ill prepared
for thoughts that will imprison
your words like the wind.

I make headway over the side of dominion
ruling the air of darkness
where fairness becomes one
among the living.
I find I am passing over
what has become sand
within a waterfall,
falling from on high,
due to my misgivings.

I am aware that beneath the taste of a last appearance
the deepest thoughts
can cover those minutes we use.
However, little do we see,
time and time again,
sometimes we tear the best there is
within a man, right in two.

Breaking down on the inside
Running start before the leap

To go back where we started
As strangers, again we meet 

We once again walk down that same moon lit street.
I pretend I don't feel anything
 
what I should feel is asleep. 

If you wanna know the truth
You are more than my bestfriend

Because this feeling deep inside 
It doesn't ever seem to end.

It doesn't wander
 doesn't  waver
doesn't dry out
doesn't bend

 I know I will die with this connection
I hope by then your heart I will mend.

I thought maybe not in this life
 but maybe in the next 

We could be lovers, Reunited
On the street where we first met

But I guess it couldn't wait that long 
I hardly can protest 

Cause what I learn from you is always worth the mess.

Life just keeps swirling,
like an endless spiral.
Things keep moving on,
without me.
People, places, and things
just don't seem to care or need me anymore.

Why? I'm not sure.
Maybe I've set myself up for this kind of failure,
because of the people I've surrounded myself with,
the choices I've made,
the places I choose to be.
No one really seems to care about me.

And so I sit, alone.
That's not such a bad thing,
being alone.
Maybe some solitude will do me some good.
But then I start to swirl into this place of
self-hatred,
misunderstanding,
depression for lack of a better word.

But when I get there,
it doesn't seem like I can get out
of this place I've somehow managed to put myself into.
But all I really want is to be held,
to be loved,
but a part of me doesn't want to be touched,
deep down I feel like, maybe,
I'm meant to be alone,
I'm don't deserve anyone to love me.

And so I sit.
Alone.
Swirling.

F
A
L
L
I
N
G

Falling in or out of love
We are falling all the time-
out of favor or out of line.
out of  synch or out of rhyme-


That’s why all poems start at the top,
and line by line decline.
Mimicking their maker’s fate
As we fall through time.

The trick, of course, is to appear
As if we’re standing still.
To create the illusion of permanence
We never had nor never will.

What would I do for you?  There's lots of things, actually


I would spontaneously start speaking Hungarian for you...but it probably would sound like nonsense

and some Hungarian dude

   Would be all like "Haver, nem beszél magyarul"

        I would shrug, because
        
              I don't know Hungarian...

But I'd still do it for you, if you wanted me to.



I would fly us to ancient Mayan burial grounds, where we could

   Learn all about a lost culture

           We would run into a cursed
                
                   Mayan Chief, but he'd actually be pretty cool
          
              He would teach us how to do a rain dance,

         Every once in awhile he'd look at you and say "kíichpan"
  
   and I'd be like..."Dude, back off..."

                       He's like 2000 years old...
                                
                         ­    He's way too old for you.



I would carve you an Ice Sculpture in your likeness

        Taking care to make sure that every detail was perfect and reflected
          
            Your beauty
              
               In every possible way.

     I'm not too good at Ice Sculpting, though, so it might just end up looking
              
            Like an oddly-shaped block of ice.


      Sorry...

            I hope you would like it anyway



For you, I would count to infinity

     Which might not sound like a feat, at first

   But then I would count back to zero

  I'm pretty sure no one's done that before....

     I won't be able to do it all in one day

So it might take awhile...

                  Hope you don't mind waiting for me




    I would write poetry every day for you


            Because I know that I would never run out of things
  
       To write about







....Well, maybe every 'other' day.

When she was young,
her mother asked,
"Why rush ahead,
without thinking,
about the consequences?"

She ignored the question,
thought, "Like you care, Ma."
and to spite her mother,
she spited herself,
went on her not-so-merry way.

Now,
a lifetime later
broken,
anxious,
addicted
medicated,
she peers out,
from behind
the shade drawn window,
with half closed eyelids
a mouse peeking out its' hole,
afraid of the consequences.

I do not fear Death,
I embrace it.

I do not fear Life,
I charge it head on.

People ask me,
How could I be like this?
I tell them,
If my God my Lord wants me dead, I will die.
If my God my Lord wants me alive, I will live.

My Life in His Hands.
God over my life.
For Heaven is Eternal.
I embrace it with my life.
If I am to die today.
I will be happy.
If I am to live today.
I will be happy.

My Life in His Hands.
God over my life.
For Heaven is Eternal.
I embrace it with my life.

If I am to starve,
I will starve.
If I am to live in comfort,
I will live in comfort and share to those unfortunate.

My Life in His Hands.
God over my life.

*God over my life.