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Claire Elwina Dec 2011
Oh Angels!
Hear my prayer
And grant me the strength
To feel so much

This power of empathy
Help me welcome
Accept as a blessing
For the years to come

Take away the curse
Cast on with black
That I feel with such darkness
Is weighting my heart

When I feel all the misery
Fill me with faith
When buried underground
Let light emerge

Lift me to a point
Where there is only love
Irradiate my eyes with sparkle
From the beauty above

Help me connect
With the joy that fills this world
And let me forget
Everything that hurts
Claire Elwina Dec 2011
I know I’m not supposed to be waiting.

I don’t need you. I don’t.
I miss.

I miss the feeling
Of softly leaning on your shoulder
I miss your smell
Within my sheets

I miss the warmth
Of you all around me
And your fingers
Running my skin

I miss your eyes
Leaning on me
Reading the sparkle
That makes me pretty

I miss our nights
I miss our mornings
I miss our lives
I miss our dreams

Sharing smiling eyes
Bursting into laughter
Lose all disguise
True together

I think about you
Through everyone of my heartbreaks
I miss you the most
At my highest happiness
Claire Elwina Dec 2011
Once upon a time I was drawn
To a light of a kind unknown
Revealed only in the dim of the night
True witness of a miracle
Leaving me breathless as beauty
Was softly calling upon me

A secret so preciously brought
A jewel pure and vulnerable
In a box that unfolds with trust
As love is weaved and truth whispered
When two souls lighting up in gold
Alter the color of the world

It was the brutal light of day
The rhythm that takes us away
That steals our eyes into the fog
And wraps a cage around our hearts
That makes us flee as one hopes to escape
The violence of the world

The more I reached the more you ran
And just one morning you were gone
Eaten away by a ferocious fear
And I could never again have you near
Cause it was wider than your hopes
And stronger than your dreams

I’ve looked in your heart for a breach
My hands got lost trying to reach
But at night I squeeze my eyelids
Like a child wishing for a dream
To unfold this treasure again
So I would never love the same

I wish I’d go back to that room
When we were all precious and bloom
And I would sleep there forever
Melt in fusion into one another
And I would take your hand in mine
Until the end of time
Claire Elwina Oct 2010
It was December
My favourite month
When the days are short
And the nights sparkle with lights

When our noses are cold
But our hearts are warm
And we are wrapped up
Under blankets and scarfs

It was softly that I felt it
Didn’t really chose it
It was hour after hour
Night after night

Within a week or two
We would lock in my room
Where we’d talk and dream
Eyes towards the stars

It was sat on my bed
The conversation we shared
That you’d turn out to be
The best friend I ever had

However you have changed
Even if this part of you is dead
I’ll always remember the man
You were that Christmas

You were pure and raw
As beautiful as the snow
As bright as
A sunrise

Whoever you are today
Whatever you do or say
How often you disrespect
Or defile those nights

I’ll always remember you
With my heart light, but a little blue
As you turned out to be
The best weeks I ever had
Claire Elwina Oct 2010
There’s what you dream of
And there’s what you receive
And I know dreaming
Can be deceiving
Or hurtful

There’s what you want
And there’s what you get
And it’s true
That it takes an effort
To honestly welcome
Anything that crosses your way
For simply what it is

And some can get lost
In impossible expectations
Searching for something
That will never come

But there is a difference
Between concealing dreams
With reality
And running away from them
When they come knocking on your door
Because you’re so scared
That they might slip away
Through your fingers
Right when
You finally
Make the choice
To grab them

I will never
Choose to be
Disillusioned

I will never choose
To settle down
To a lower option
Because it’s easier to lose faith
Than keep on believing

So next time you see me
Look right into my eyes
And know that I will speak those words:
“I will never accept
Nor support
Your actions
Under resignation”

Dreams may seem an enemy
To reality
But there’s one worst
And that’s fear my dear

You keep coming back to me
Because a part of you still desperately wants
To look into my eyes
And feel that your dreams
Are still possible to realize

You will wake up one day
And when all the fire
That I love so much
Has finally burned out
You will feel empty
Like you have never felt before

There’s what you dream of
But more important darling
They’re what you decide
To make your dreams become
Closer to reality
Claire Elwina Oct 2010
Your presence has
A familiar taste
Next to you is like
I'm closer to myself
Just the sight of you
And all my defences are down
I’m lighter and true
Naked to my bones
And it feels so good
To finally be home
To feel understood
And truly loved
I’m finally at peace
Life can race outside
I’m in comfort and bliss
Resting in your arms
I feel so much strength
Emerging from inside of me
Like some kind of spell
As magic as can be

It’s the tone of your voice
Whispering to my ear
That without an effort
Just silence my fear
It’s the conversations
On the beauty around
That appease my questions
And brighten my world
It’s a feeling of happiness
That I thought couldn’t be reached
It’s like we were blessed
It’s like heaven exists
It’s like together
Life is so easy
Like it makes us better
And breaks us free

We meet in our dreams
For a better place
You’re bringing me wings
With your sole embrace
And your face is like
The sweetest picture to me
Your eyes being the doors
To our sanctuary
A smile on your lips
Is all it takes
A taste of your kiss
Fills me with grace
And I hardly believe
We were put here together
That the world I breathe in
Would carry you ever
Knowing you’re alive
Makes this place worth living in
Sharing your time
Was worth waiting

It’s like you're familiar
Making life so easy
You could make me better
You could make me happy
Claire Elwina Oct 2010
Are you on your way home
Or am I desperately waiting
Blindingly hoping
For an angel who is already gone?
For a mirror of myself
Who’s already shattered
Was already broken
To pieces long ago?

In despair
I wander between two worlds
Searching behind the clouds
For a sign from you
I’m scanning those empty eyes
For a soul to touch me
One glance to pierce me
When I’ll recognize you

Is this you that I hear
At night whispering melodies
Singing me lullabies
Cuddling close to me?
Invisible but
Blowing on my skin
Giving me the chills
Your ghost embracing me?

Is that you
Watching me sleep
While grasping my hand
With your fingers of smoke?
Are you the one
Haunting my flesh
In my mouth leaving a taste
That I can't get rid of?

I have this blind hope
Maybe you’re back already
That you came to get me
And let us be together, again at last
In this tragic and absurd
Bound called love
I keep turning my back from
Any other heart

I have this memory
Of our bond so pure
Of a link so secure
Of a love I still feel so deeply
To join you wherever you are
If you could give me a sign
I think I could die
To have you again, close to me

Have my eyes gone so dull
From searching the clouds
Wandering the winds so much
That I became a living ghost?
Have I gone so invisible
That you can't recognized me
When you walk right past me
Into the crowd?

Oh sweetheart I've tried and I've tried
To take strangers into my arms
But it felt like I was
Lying to myself
Is there anyone who can fit
In the shape of your embrace
This hole in my chest
Is there anybody else

Is there anyone down here
As beautiful as you
Any worthy of you
That would want to take me
Who will long to love me
For all that I am
With my laugh and my cries
Through my light and darkness

On my lonely nights
Is it you that I miss
Is it only you that would fit

Darling,

This
      hole
  in
       my
             chest
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