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as she walked slowly
down the middle of the night road
she tears off pieces of herself
and scatters them face-up on the cool pavement
they stare up at the spinning stars grinning

she mutters the song with
a small rough broken english voice
guttural it echoes softly
off the closed storefronts
and sounds like Christmas if ya think about it
her reflection swings slow through the motions
each pane of glass tinted with
the tidal forces of tears and rumors
each day has seen it much discussed
tread like jackboot in the fragile hall

like a bird in flight
you can see in slow motion the beauty
of its flight
you  can sense the brilliance of its craftsmanship
somewhere its creator is laughing himself sick

she reaches an impasse
and turns casting pieces like hemlock prizes
into eating the parts of the night
she can no longer stand
so the silence dissapears
and the warm space between dark and light
becomes cold once again
versions of herself
scatter to shopping mall parking lots
all over the world
and all the carts are taken down
like disassembled dreams
like laughter halved
like a smile too close to tears
brave knights fallen
I read once that
people who can’t
sleep are either
in love or lonely.
And some nights
I can’t tell the
difference
between the two.
Feelings only
become real
after 2 am,
While everyone
sleeps and I
lie awake
trying to hush
the swirl
of churning
thoughts and
memories that
still linger.
when the only
solace is sleep,
I find my peace
in the daylight,
the drinks, and
the medications
that make the
memories stop
showing inside my
skull and help
the darkness
drift In with ease.
We'll never have to say
Goodbye ever again


We're a forever type of love.
I was three
When I first felt the pull
And I know it seems impossible
But I know my heart
And it gave this tug
Telling me this was the beginning
Of my search

I was seven
When it pulled again
Telling me I hadn't
Looked long enough

I was nine
When I figured out
That friendship
Led to crushes and the tug
Told me it could lead
To more
So I couldn't give up
Not yet
I continued my search

At ten
The tug snapped
My mind out of a crush
And back into reality

Then at 11
The feeling that tug
In my chest
Faded and instead
I felt flipping there
Brown eyes pierced my soul
And my chest flipped wildly

At 12
My brown eyed boy left
And the tugging started again
Reminding me of him
Everyday
And how his eyes
Made my heart flip

At 15
I was reunited
With my brown eyed boy

Finally at 16
We've settled
And every time
I look at that boy
Who is now a man
His eyes still seeing
Every bit of the real me
I smile
Knowing my search is finally
Over.
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