please put your hands around my neck
i need to feel like i'm choking from someone rather than nothing
make me feel like i'm being crushed by by a weight
because right now i'm being crushed by loneliness
give me a physical entity to hate rather than a feeling i just miss
put me in a sauna
that would be more bearable than the heat of your stare
please
make me feel like i've died inside because
that would feel a whole lot better than feeling like
i have just a shell

We once walked these streets together
at a time when 'forever' was something real.
Our kisses were gentle pecks, here and there.
Missing our aim, on occassion,
but sweet with a purity I long for still.

We didn't lie about our dreams together.
We just bent our desires to fit our wishes.
Our ignorance caught up to us soon enough.
I took the high road while you descended
down an easier path.

I recall that first morning so long ago.
Awaking to a vacancy of empty fitted sheets
and tears that replaced the echo of our routine.
The sounds of our love absorbed by
the plaster walls, still jingle at times.

The pain is gone,
and tender memories remain.
The high road I treaded upon gives
clear views of our long lost past.
But, only the lonliest of broken hearts
can travel that path.

The streets are quiet now.
And I remain,
still in love
and never the same.

~~~

I never thought I'd kiss your lips again or feel your hand on my cheek
I never would have guessed that I could see you smile again because of me
Even after all these months, almost a year, I think,
When I dream about you I wake up like the day is new
And last night was no different
Because you sat down next to me and pulled me closer
And then you turned my face to yours and kissed me with soft lips
It was like the universe stopped expanding
Stopped pulling us further away from each other
It was like the oceans stopped churning
Stopped drowning us
Even as I'm writing this I'm crying because who wouldn't after
Nine months of not seeing your face turned towards mine
You were you again
Not the shell that I had grown accustomed to that ignored me
Or didn't know i existed anymore
God, it was heaven in a few milliseconds
And I never wanted to leave