You didnt see it coming,
The way the cold freezes to the bone,
Like a chilly fog in winter,
Seizing all that you have known.

You didnt see it coming,
No, how could you have known?
That this lonliness would settle?
And simply refuse to go?

And now it makes you shudder,
Makes you shiver all around,
Because no amount of heat,
Could bring back what was found.

There are many things I envied,
You seemed like such a spoiled brat,
But the way your eyes glazed over,
Well, I never envied that.

And now its frozen,
Cold and hard like a stone,
No, nothing can melt it,
I guess you'll have to die alone.

If I had to write you something,
Knowing tommorow you will die,
Id write a life-long essay,
Just to ensure that you survive.

Or I'd put three simple words,
Right in the center of the page,
Because "I love you" can save a life,
Might cool down all your rage.

I'd scribble meaningless pictures,
Plead with you to stay,
Tell you it gets better,
But it never goes away.

And inside I might be angry,
Scream for you to "stick it out...."
Tell you to live with it,
Cuz thats what life's about.

I'd be crying cause I miss you,
I might die a little too,
But I'd be careful not to tell you,
Anything that isn't true.

You tried to make a model,
So perfectly true,
And tried to paint a masterpiece,
With every single hue.

But the mannequin was fragile,
The picture too dark,
On her face there was no smile,
In her eyes no spark.

I appreciate your artistic hand,
But the colors are all wrong,
Did you forget the world is bright?
And life is but a song?

Or did you wake up one morning,
And everything was grey?
Have you finally figured out,
The words you shouldn't say?

Did you awake one late afternoon,
Realized it was still dark, and fell back to snooze?
But sleep did not come, so you waited for the sun to rise,
Ans when it didn't, you didn't weep, you weren't even surprised.

Is it like a world devoid of color?
Of happiness and taste?
Where food has no flavor?
And you have plenty of time to waste?

Because I think I know the feeling,
Of being trapped in a deep dark hole,
And your not sure what it is your seeing,
Your just sure you don't want anyone t know.

Well my friend, my fellow human,
We all bleed this way,
So take it easy buddy,
Because you wont he helped along the way.

You clench your shaking hands,
And do not move from the place from which you stand.
And say “I'm fine” “I'm fine” with conviction,
Though I don’t recall anyone has asked.

They say if your not careful,
You become what you despise,
Control the shaking, clench the fist,
But don’t you close your eyes.

And you think that you can stop it,
How you tremble to the bone,
But you don’t really have a choice,
This is something we all know.

So just go ahead and say it,
It's on the tip of your tongue,
It wallows on your painted skin,
It pours from your eyes like a flood.

Go ahead just paint it,
Write it all down,
Scream it, sing it,
Or even whisper it out loud.

Tell us this fight means nothing,
You’re just standing your ground,
But the truth is that you’ve lost,
Something that can’t ever be found.

I watched the words tumble from your mouth,
Without a doubt they fell,
I watched them form a misty cloud,
Without a doubt you couldn’t tell.

I watched you stumble over yourself,
Recorrect your story,
Edit the missing parts,
Fill in all the dark and gory.

I watched you, oblivious and blind,
In a haze of dark smoke,
I watched you fluidly, lie after lie,
I hope you ******* choke.

I hope you ******* choke.

And if my hate 'aint clear enough
Heres another line or two
You really thought I meant it
When I said I love you too?

Fake
03/28/2009


I think you left your skin there,
It's lying on the floor,
And honestly its starting to smell,
I dont want it anymore.

I think you forgot your brain somewhere,
When you walked out that door,
Or was it the heart on your sleeve?
I dont want it anymore.

When you crawled out of that empty shell,
That lie that made you, you,
I thought the world turned upside down,
I began to doubt the truth.

But talking about truth is easy,
If you've never faced a lie,
And that rotten mask lying there,
Is a reminder that "we all die."

Like a snake that sheds the past,
You walked out on me,
Like everything that never lasts,
In my time of need.

Well look at me now you snake,
Im too tired to hate you,
Breathing takes such energy,
I learned that were all fake.

All plastic in this world,
And if it doesnt hurt,
Then it isnt love,
And if she doesnt cry,
Then its not enough.

I never thought that you could break,
A cold diomond heart,
But im still trying to find the pieces,
That have been ripped apart.

It’s like looking for a heart,
In a metal junkyard,
And getting cut in all the glass,
People have walked on.

Even asked the wizard of Oz
If he knew where it may be
But all he said was
"Look inside child, you will see."

I looked for it in pictures,
Of me smiling with my friends,
I looked for it in winters,
That never seemed to end.

I looked for it in boys,
Who thought that they were men,
Even looked for it in monsters,
Under my red quilted bed.

I looked under the rain,
In my brothers eyes,
Looked to my father,
And said “I never cry.”

He said “I know,”
As I began to weep,
“I know,”
I heard him repeat.

I looked for me in shadows,
In the past and present dear,
Looked for it in music,
I never seemed to hear.

I looked for it in children,
The only thing that made me smile,
But all I found was 7 pounds of,
Useless blood, muscle and denial.

The curisoisty that satisfaction bred
is nothing but a lie inside your head
Or should i say the satisfaction that curiosity led
Is nothing but a mistaken feeling
inside your demented head

And you ponder each question
with such thoughtful insight
but dont you know honey
what you dont understand, you only fight

And dont you know little one
that while the worlds about to turn
your just a speck of dirt
under the burning sun?

Im sorry if you feel so small
So insufficient to the world
but take comfort in the fact that there's 7 billion other people
Who feel like that, girl

Didnt you know sweetheart?
That your just a footprint in the sand?
And when the tide comes crashing in
Youll be gone, nowhere to be found

Your the sound in the forest
That a falling tree makes
And if theres no one there to hear it
then it didnt really break

You create something false, so easily broken
to replace a concience thats just non existent
and im sorry you feel so worthless
But i cant find a lie that truth invented.

Theres 3 sides to the story
but i think mine is true
theres only one way something happens
But then again so do you

I know it's heavy, the burden you carry,
But it's yours, and yours alone,
I know you’re tired, eyes weary,
But carry on, carry on.

So rest your heavy head,
On my comforting sleeve,
And as for that meddling heart,
Let it bleed, Let it bleed.

I'm amazed at how,
Your fragile bones don’t break,
Under that crippling weight,
That you have to carry alone,
But you must, so carry on,
Carry on.

not that i have you
or had you
or will ever have you
all i know is that i've thought of you