I wish I was a dimmer switch so I could fade in and out.
So the transition through my spectrum of emotions was smoother.
So I wasn't so "on" or "off".

No one wants all darkness;
and the light always seems too harsh when it's bedtime.

Turn me until I'm right where you want me.
Until I'm perfect.

He needed her to cope
and grew to love her;
for she was the prettiest thing in his view
But now she's obsolete.
He opened his eyes
wide.
Too wide.
So wide,
that he saw that there were prettier things.

So distracted by the beauty all around him,
he forgot to love her.
Forgot he ever had.

Through our time together I too learned a lot.
I've taken the experiences and grown from them.
I learned not to give up at the first sign of trouble. Sometimes the discomfort fear provides is necessary in order for us to better ourselves.
I'm sorry for blowing things out of proportion.
And mistakes I never atoned for.
I'm sorry for the times I was so busy trying to fix you that I forgot to improve myself.
I wish you many successes in your future.

The road glitters
Like tar flecked with diamonds.
I'm warm from the buzz of graduating from wine to liquor.
My mouth tastes of cinnamon
And the cool air feels blissful against my skin.

Though their faces seem happy to see me,
I don't know these people.
They know my name,
But not why I came.

There is an odd sense of community on the dance floor.
I'm drinking a clear fluid that tastes like fruit loops.
Strangers are spliffing in the garage.

I don't check the time
Because I'd like to pretend it doesn't exist.

I must admit that it gave me a thrill when you said you owned the rights to my body.

"Where do I sign."

I think I blushed when you told me to sign with my tongue.

I could almost pretend it never happened.
That I'd never lost the sensations I felt now like refreshers
Making my limbs tingle
as if I were a  carbonated beverage.

It was hard to be happy.
Harder to stay happy.
Too much work.
Easier to be sad.
Or miserable.
So I was.
I committed to it.
Stopped pursuing happiness
Even though the constitution says I have a right to it.

I grew to enjoy my misery.
Convinced myself it was what I wanted.
Got used to being alone.
Numbed myself to bliss.

And then you.
Not even anesthesia could numb me after you.