We could stay in this room for hours
Talking about everything and nothing
We could watch the stream and
forget our lives
Like we had forever to spend together
We could stop thinking about
what is to come
And relish in every moment before

We are masters of being in love -
But we will never be good at goodbyes.

One by one they come and go,
Well-wishes and farewells
Killing me deeper with each word and embrace
I am a warrior, I stand strong
But behind my sword and shield,
I weep.

Commencement of goals
One build to forge many more -
Let the fire begin!

Wind gusts through darkening fields
Grant a somber chill to spoken words
Philosophy and inspiration are illustrated
through thrashing trees
Memories are carried in wisps
To land upon your lips,
Shared in whistling accompaniment.
I close my eyes against the burning
Listening to the song of nostalgia in your voice
My hair whips around my face and
I look up to meet your gaze -
We smile softly against the wind,
Sighing with content in your thoughts.

I am the third pair of hands when only two are needed,
The second set of ears when the first is otherwise occupied.
I am the follower in conversation,
The chimer-in of small, unimportant thoughts.
I give good advice that is rarely taken,
But never say "I told you so."
I am the one in the background, seldom noticed
*But I am always there

I wear my strength as a badge of honor on my chest
Shining it with spit, because that's what tough guys do
I stand tall and march with confidence,
Staring down my enemies,
Grinning inwardly when they shy away

And then there are those that sneer at me,
Try to pluck the badge from my chest
Because I am not worthy of it,
Not capable of strength
Since I do not really stand tall, only average,
Since I am a woman, and we should be modest
We should leave it to the men.

So I wear this badge of honor,
Always carrying something to prove
Longing for respect from ones who should be my equals -
They don't realize that the extra weight
Will only make me stronger.

There is no definitive moment,
No epiphany or revelation
When a child makes the leap to adulthood -
When a child becomes accustomed to death.
Thoughts of fear and mourning vaporize
Replaced by acceptance of "the way things are"
When it is easier to break the neck
Of a dove with a broken wing
Than it is to hold it close in comfort
And wish for it to fly.

It is not a choice among angels, nor demons
It is not an enchanted journey with a heroic end,
An effortless denouement.
It exists only where there is life, not fairy tales -

It is a dandelion picked from a field of daisies,
It cannot be marveled for its beauty, nor perfection,
But I can breathe a thousand wishes into the air, and
Have faith that they will come true.

The words I desire evade my grasp
Flitting about beneath my fingers
Dodging what I thought would be a sure catch.
A child-like frustration grows within me,
Playing tag with these teasing lyrics,
Chasing them until I grow tired,
Giving up when I want only to say,
"You're it"

Playing at the park,
Not knowing what was coming
I try not to cry.
The funeral comes, sadly
Grandpa P. has passed away.

In our first kiss,
Surrounded by darkness,
Except the light in your eyes
I must have tasted a trace
Of a lotus flower upon your lips
That flower which takes all thoughts of home
And transfers them to the place
Tainted by the bloom –
Since that first timid kiss,
Leading to so many others
I cannot think of a place
I would rather be
Than in your arms
To taste that kiss
Sweetened by the lotus
Like tea by a drop of honey
Seemingly, just for me.

In another life,
We must have met
And with undying passion,
Admitted our love and
Lived by it
We must have made memories
And framed them in
Soft vignette
Of holding hands and sharing kisses,
And saying, in our last breaths,
That we would find each other again –
We must have embraced
And remembered the harmony
So that in this life
We could keep our promise
And not ever dream
Of breaking it.

We are a mystery
A once-in-a-lifetime story
We are a miracle,
Silent whispers in darkness
Confusion, and colors –
We are light.
We are sunsets, a new life
A union of two hearts
We are birds in the morning,
A walk at dusk
Clouds at dawn,
     painted by the sun
We are everything beautiful
We are everything together.

In the late afternoon,
In the light of the golden sun,
She climbs to a comfortable perch
In her favorite tree
Winter has given way to spring,
And as afternoon darkens to dusk,
She smiles at the world and
Breathes the sweet smell of
Freshly opened flowers, free from the
     green buds that litter the ground.
Over the branch her bare legs
     dangle,
Swinging ever so slightly to the
     whispers of the tired trees
This world is beautiful, a robin sings
And as she closes her eyes,
She thinks of him,
Her lover, her friend
The breeze tickles her skin, and
     he is there,
A perfect dream,
If only it were real,
As she smiles at the world,
If only he were there,
It would not be a dream of solitude.

I’m finding, day by day,
More belief than I've ever felt
Deep in my veins,
Pumping, appropriately,
Through my heart
I believe in the impossible
I believe in simple joy.
In warm nights,
Looking at the stars
In absolute pleasure
Simply lying in your arms
I believe in the future
That, in fact,
Perfect love is possible
I know,
Because I've found it with you.

You steal the darkness away from me
Place it in a sack and send it sailing into a river
To be swept away by the swift water
You light a candle with your eyes,
Make it grow with your smile -
Light my world with your kiss

And you call me "sunshine"

You never say a word
As I stroke your skin,
Tracing the veins along your arm -
Just watch my fingers
Traveling the road map of the blood
That courses through your body.
I have tried so many times
To find a different path
Discover a detour
But I have only found a common route -
Whatever vein I choose,
It leads to your open hand, outstretched
The only place I feel at home.

The way a moonflower shies from the sun
So I shied from you
Turning my face away,
Placing myself in shadow
So that your light would not penetrate me.
In shadow I remain, until the night arrives
When I look to the sky,
Reaching for the moon and
The only light I can grasp to,
Wanting to scream into the torturous quiet.

Have you ever watched someone begin to cry?
The realization of pain,
The fleeting denial, momentary battle against emotion
Then submission,
Tears brimming as the eyebrows tighten
Involuntary grimaces,
The drops searing paths of cold pain down the cheeks

The ugliest view of beauty one will ever see.

I miss you every day
Your smile, your laugh, your voice.
So much I want to say
If I just had a choice.
You walk beside me now,
An angel in my breadth
I only wonder how
The memories can be kept -

I wasted so much time,
When every minute counts
Forgive me for my crime
I pray as I lay down
To see you once again,
If only through my pen.

I hear a soft discord
A thrumming, humming noise
Could this be some reward?
If so, I should rejoice!
I've waited long enough,
My heart must learn this beat
And now it's obvious
No feeling can compete.

This poem lacks allure
I know that it is true
But you, I so adore
And now I will break through.
Do you agree with me?
I guess that we shall see.

Under your touch
    
     I am transformed from nothing

To me.

Only in your arms
Do I sleep with utmost peace.
Only to your face
Do I awake with a smile.

Sweetly kiss, and say goodnight.

Your eyes are autumn

          The dance of the leaves falling

Whispering secrets

Autumn has opened the doors
To touch us with her chilled breath
Scattering bloodstained leaves
In a crimson path ahead of us
I climb from your lap
To follow the trail
While you convoy closely behind
Our skin, warmed from the
Summer's sun
Shivers slightly under
Autumn's sigh
And under the somehow darker sky,
Shadows are profound
You take my hand with care,
As comfort to us both
And we walk in unison
Among the shedding trees
Traveling a path of red, to nowhere
Getting lost, in the changing
Of the season.

There is nothing bitter about your lips
Brushing gently over my dark scars
Healing all the pain I have endured
And if this was our last night,
I would have no regrets
Since every day that you are mine
And I am yours
I am already in heaven.

Here’s a toast
To the time between
The time that makes me ache
And long for your touch
Here’s a toast
To the promise of companionship
The rock that keeps me anchored
Here’s a toast
To forever
The dream I’ve dreamed
Night after night
When I was alone
And you were there
A toast to those dreams
That have been replaced
By this life I’m living
Beside you

She stands with dignity in the middle of the field
Perks her ears at the sound of my boots.
She swings her big head toward me and looks.
I whistle to her, knowing it will never work.
She will wait for me, but never come.
I approach her and slip the halter over her ears,
Kiss her nose.
I brush her graying mane, and try to pretend she is not old.
And she trots with pride and
Is not embarrassed when she trips.

Today is September 11, 2012.

Last night, on  September 10, 2012, I went to bed thinking about classes the next day, things that had to be done, money that had to be spent.  I thought about problems in my relationships, things to fix those problems.  I thought about the horse whom I'd spent most of the evening riding.  I didn't think about the anniversary of the tragedy that happened 11 years ago.

When I woke up this morning, I got ready for school, made sure I had my homework done, grabbed a mug of coffee on the way out the door, and shivered in the morning chill of autumn.  I got in my car and turned on the heat, waited for the windows to defrost, and pulled out of my driveway.  I didn't think about the anniversary of the tragedy that happened 11 years ago.

I was on the highway and someone passed me, too close, and I wondered how some people pass their driving tests.  I got stuck behind a school bus while a very slow teenager boarded, and wondered how I would get to my class on time.  In town, I slowed to let a cat cross the road in front of me, and wondered how it had made it across so many times before.  I didn't think about the anniversary of the tragedy that happened 11 years ago.

On country roads, I turned up my radio when I heard my favorite song come on: “For You,” by Keith Urban.  I sang along with the lyrics, knowing that I was going to cry when I heard the lines, “And in his pocket, just like mine, he had a photograph, and they're waiting for him back home.”  At that moment, the significance of today's date popped into my mind.  September 11, 2012.  And I thought about the anniversary of the tragedy that happened 11 years ago.

I had twenty minutes to get to class, but I couldn't drive any more until I gave a moment to my thoughts about the day.  I pulled over on the side of a familiar country road and turned my music off.  I looked out the window to see the rolling farmland and I felt the cool breeze on my face, and thought about how much I take this world for granted.  This is my country, and the ones who perished on September 11, 2001 would have taken this day for granted too, if that tragedy had not happened.  It was time to think about the present, and see it for its beauty, and not for its frustrations.

I thought about my life, just for a moment.  I went to school, and throughout my classes, I could not stop thinking.  I remembered how I cried when I went to New York and saw the 9/11 Memorial in the footprints of the twin towers.  I thought about the tribute songs to the event.  I thought about my dear friend and my brother, who are fighting for our country as members of the military.  With every thought, I chose to look at something new; something I had seen a hundred times, but could possibly never see again.

The future is unpredictable.  My life is a small speck in a world of sand.  I owe it to thousands of people, because if one person did something differently on any day, in any moment, there is a chance that I would not be here. On September 11, 2012, I give thanks more than any previous anniversary of the event.  Today, I am an 18-year-old adult, free to make choices, free to vote for my country's leaders, free to fight for it.  And as I look out across the fields, and to the sky, and at the flag hanging at half-staff, I decide that I will fight for it, in one way or another, because people have died and more will die to let me appreciate these things and I will not let their death be in vain.

Our eyes begin the first line,
Blinking out metaphors
As we share secrets without speaking.
Our hands start the rhythm,
Fingers interlocking and swinging
     with every footstep.
Our voices create the verse,
And the chorus comes to life
As we kiss, as we kiss.
Whispers becoming rhymes.
How I would adore spending eternity
Writing poems with you.

It is time to think the thoughts
That I avoid in the day,
The thoughts that creep from
Shadows, and enter my mind under
Closed eyelids.

Take a look again
Am I what you thought I was?
Am I worthy of forever?
Do I deserve your heart,
And are you miserable
Holding mine?

Eyes often close without ever blinking
Hearts bleed though encased they are inside
In the novelty of love,
The eyes long always for more to see,
The heart beats faster and opens to passion.
In the beginning,
There would be comments on the sight of me,
Comparisons to the stars, or dusk in the summer
Comments that would be modestly declined -
And now I must wonder
When those sweet comparisons ceased,
When you started to give up trying to convince me
How many times it took
For you to grow tired of calling me beautiful
So that I could ever deny it.
          What you never knew is that I wanted to believe it
          And when I finally began to
          Was when you gave up reminding me
          Because I always fought back against you.
I miss the days in the beginning.
But I always was the best at arguing.