I,
step out for a spell,
To clear my head.
Take in the salt air,
Night breeze dries my sweat.

It's done now, it's out there,
Don't say you regret it.
No taking those words back,
You already said it.

The truth at last,
So that's how you feel?!
If only I'd known,
I'd've swam past your reel.

Boy, was I foolish,
To take that first bite.
To see where that line led,
To give up that fight.

That first stark encounter,
I nibbled, you pulled.
Hook, line, and sinker,
You land a fool.

I flipped and flopped,
My eyes glazed in defeat.
You called over your friends,
And I gasped at your feet.

You hung me up high,
Your trophy on the wall.
To use as you needed,
Which was never at all.

Why did you do it,
Why tempt me like that?
Why keep me latched on,
Like your piercings and tatts?

Our time was a waste,
Or so you did claim.
I'm sorry, but no way,
I'm not taking the blame!

Every time you needed me,
I came running fast.
To talk to at night,
To help trouble pass.

And now you are strong,
And stable and fine.
So you're tossing me aside,
Like vinagered wine.

Well let me pour out,
These last sour thoughts.
This isn't a rant,
No really, it's not.

So sorry I left,
A bad taste in your mouth!
So sorry I silenced,
All your worries and doubts!

So sorry I picked up,
The phone every night!
For you to cry out your eyes,
And console you til light.

So sorry I was there,
When you needed a friend!
So sorry I was there,
When you needed a freakin friend!

But whatever, that's fine,
You're done with me? Great!
You've already set up,
With new line and new bait.

Enjoy the hunt, babe,
Patience is key.
It'll be a while before,
You land another like me:

A fool so naive,
So willing to assume...
That love is the means,
To make friendship bloom.

The truth I now know,
Is quite simple, it's this:
A sucker is born every minute,
For bliss.

Our passion was real,
At least, was to me.
Maybe you faked it,
Just maybe, we'll see.

But I'll tell you this one thing:
There's no turning 'round.
Next time your ship starts sink,
I'm afraid you're going down.

I won't be there at night,
For talk, ***, or tea.
Goodbye, babe, goodnight,
And good luck without me.

You laugh at my feelings,
You pity my sorrow.
But we'll see who is laughing,
Come this time tomorrow.

You see, what I know,
And realize is this.
I've learned from my pain,
And have forgotten your kiss.

And forgotten your shape,
In the bed late at night.
And forgotten that feeling,
Your hand held so tight.

And forgotten the things,
That would make your eyes glow.
And the ticklish spots,
From your head to your toes.

And the way that your smile,
Would make my whole week.
And how excited I got,
With your tongue in my cheek.

Forgotten your smell,
That shampoo you use.
Forgotten it all,
It's stale old news.

I wish you the best,
Good luck out there, hon.
Cause just like you said,
Baby, we're done.

Fun while it lasted,
But all good things end.
Like we did tonight,
When you typed and pressed send.

Conflict:
The sweaty mason jar cools my right palm and stirs my head;
The smoky cigar heats my left grip and soothes my conscious.

Reflection:
Just now accepting the day that has happened on me and the events gone by;
Just now praying for her and the decision she had to make to do right by her family.

A pause:
Sip my glass, sip the stog, the spices and tingles mix and diminish;
My palate charged, I taste, breathe, and repeat.

The porch:
Comfy couch, windless night, stars come out, music is bright;
Achy pains slip away, and pleasant thoughts amass my brain.

My friends:
Scattered far and scattered wide, some fare better than others;
Different points we've reached in life, contact fades and flutters.

My wish:
I hope you all are happier than the happiest you thought you could be;
I hope you sleep better tonight than the soundest you've ever acheived;
I hope comfort finds every crevace of your soul;
I hope you keep your positive way through all life's turns and tolls.

I lie in bed,
And stretch my toes,
And ***** a sniffle,
Before it goes:

Achoo,
my friends,
Achoo once more,
I'm spread upon...
my house's boards.

Boards,
I hold,
my back,
against.
I float,
above,
the ground,
of sense.

I leave you all,
for now tonight.
Though all I really crave is light!

May companionship...
find all.
May you're somber...
sorrows fall.
May your every worry fade,
like surfing the wind upon a wave!

Let,
good,
waves,
bless,
your,
days,

And good vibes,
bless,
your,
nights.

Amen perhaps?
I really don't know!
Can I borrow a map?
To find Mt. Flow:

And climb,
And climb,
And search and look,
And stumble upon,
the sacred book.

I quickly take,
a little peak,
before the...
libra-
rian...
slaps...
my...
cheek.

But it in that time,
short though it was,
I still managed,
to catch a buzz.

I took the apple,
from the tree,
and found a worm,
and A, B, C ' S

And Newton,
may have found,
gravity,
with his,
apple,

But he never explain it to children.
so forget the inconsiderate man...
who does not value the opinion...
of young minds,
that will them.

Mind the thunder,
between your knees,
the graceful rumble,
of ominous trees;

That lean and lean,
and wait to fall,
and challenge the roof...
with squeaks and squalls.

I hope no birds' nest downly fall,
and families get ruined.
Such tragedy, oh this'd be,
hard eggs shells turned to fluid.

Can a worser scenario,
be brought up by life's passing?
Can I witness such tragedy...
and forever forget laughing?

All life is equal,
in His holy eyes;
all questions silenced,
by his grace, Divine.

Night buds!

You tell me I've grown quite cynical these last and past few spans.

I shrug off your stare, pretend not to care, and ask you your weekend plans.

What I get I fully expect: a smirk and a walking away.

I'm never surprised when you roll your eyes and ignore what I have to say.

My peace with you has ended, I feel, and strangers we've quickly become.

I realized that this was the deal when my mornings began to grow so glum.

You always get up hours before my conscious even first stirs.

I cover my head, sleep in too late, and pretend that being awake doesn't hurt.

Finally, late in the afternoon when even shades pulled cannot keep,

I get out of bed, try to level my head, and face you again after sleep.

I do not know how much longer I can laugh away your frustration.

I've made it all worse by tuning you out like an over-commercialized station.

We haven't had a screaming match in so long, I point out.

But perhaps that's bad thing...at least I knew that you still cared when you'd shout.

Night has come again already, and all I want is out.

Out of this cycle--this horrid routine--that's left me with only one route.

I watch you sleep, your glowing halo, your chest that rises and falls.

I hope you forgive the way that I end, and the mess that I leave on your walls.

That lonely rocking chair in the corner--that one you have always hated...

That's where I left this earthly plane: where love and eternity faded.

A single piece raised to my temple, cold but warm enough soon.

A squeeze, a click, a spark, it's dark; a thump in a breathless room.

Please, oh please, oh please my dear, please don't be angry with me.

I'm out oh your hair, you're free and you're rare, and there's plenty of fish in the sea.

Just know it was not a service to me--this last action done was for you.

My final thought was a prayer to the Lord that now you could be happy too.

And if what the elders say is true and if we should meet again in death.

I hope by then you have realized that yours was the taste on my dying breath.  

I once loved you, believe it or not, but one day I just forgot how:

To love or to feel emotion at all and what this whole life thing's about.

Move on my darling, forget me, and forgive me if you can.

I know you'll find somebody to love, somebody to play on the sand.

I do not love you, and I hate myself for it...for forgetting the reason to exist.

This last spark I felt, this last jolt in life came as a powder shell kiss.

At last I leave, stop heart, hurt, dreams; goodbye babe tonight and forever.

As love and eternity fades my soul, I pass through the stormy weather.

I feel them crawl all over my skin:
Up and down,
Trying to get in.

Molesting the fibers of my hair:
Behind my ears,
They scratch and tear.

Down my neck and across my back:
Searching for voids,
Attempting to attack.

All they want is my discontent:
Uncomfortable me,
And happy them.

I know that they aren't really there:
Imagining pain,
Seasonally impaired.

Anger tries to make itself norm:
I must keep swimming,
Get through this storm.

Another reason the patient Soul enjoys folding clothes:

It reminds her/him of making sandcastles with Mom as a child...

The part where you load up a bucket of sand, get it a little wet...just enoughta  have the solution damp throughout;

Let it dry in the hot sand a little;
Then, flip that puppy over, slam it down, and the sand mold is revealed.

Well guess what, my local poetry-bitten hopeless souls:

That same sensation from that experience done with Mom as a child on the beach is felt (on a near-unnoticeable level of feeling) alone by oneself when folding laundry at late hours of the night right before a day trip to the beach with that Mother...

The part where you load up the clothes in a basket;

      Run em through the water;
            (Washing Machine)
               Get the clothes
                       Wet...

     Run em through the heat;
          (Dryer Cycle, twice!)
               Get the clothes
                       Dry...

Not fully, just enough to work, my friends, for the task at hand;

Get those clothes back in that basket on the couch:

Flip that puppy over, slam it down, and the clothing castle is revealed.

You see it, take a picture of it, and laugh the picture over to yourself.

But shortly after:
You pause,
Reflect,
Think,
Of,
Your,
Mother.

And, feel greatful for the childhood that you got, all Southern slurs and northern depression aside;

Feel happy to have grown up so close to your Mother, who has always been there for you as a best friend;

Feel grateful for the opportunities that have been given to you and regret all the sacrifices your parents (Mom and Dad both) had to make to give them to you;

Feel so appreciative for the wonderful family you've been blessed with:

Your amazingly strong little siblings who can survive any stress and strife of the day with Nick cartoons and Disney tunes;

Your amazingly strong older siblings who held your hand through it all--those dark times of trouble and those few rays of sunshine that broke through to your head--and stay close with you still;

Always remember who brought this soul into this world and who can take it right back out (she would always jokingly threaten as a child so I would do my chores or finish my homework haha):

Mom mom mom mom mama mama mama mama mommy mommy mommy mommy mum mum mum mum lois lois lois lois ma ma mum

What?!?!?!

..............Hi! Haha

Thinking of you,
Mom.

I love you too.

And that's why folding clothes reminds the patient folder of times at the Beach with her/his Mother:

Folding Castles, as it were.

I happen upon this realization tonight, this one among many others:

I keep many lovely "Night Buds..."
in a collective nocturnal realm.

That is to say, good sirs and madams who care to lend their individual respective gentle ears for the sparing;

There are many women with whom I only seem to engage with in conversation or for companionship as night time falls over my conscious self.

I happened upon this truth earlier tonight in deep reflection, my friends and fellows.

And I wonder to myself, to what significance do these few coincidental female fates have on my person?

Am I more friendly at night, when the sun is gone and the moon is up? Is this the fate I have fallen to? Is this the life I've made?

Am I more alive than dead when my motionless body just crawls into bed and I lye there for hours or days at a time and feel happier alone in that bed than when I'm out around the house with my family; this because I've forgotten how to love, and their beautiful friendship makes me terribly saddened by the wish to reciprocate such friendship, but all for not...as I cannot love anymore.

I'm saddened by love, I've only the Night Buds to turn to and share my woes with collectively.

I wish I could be strong like some, and have no need to turn to Night Buds for consoling, for deflating my troubles, and for wishing good fortune.

I perhaps someday shall not have such need, but for now, I'll work on improving and keep my Night Buds all the same.

You see I really am quite found of my Night Buds: they make me feel like life is not all that bad, and that choosing to feel happy is the only way to really in fact be happy, regardless of living situation (though I still struggle to swallow that pill of logic).

Until my heart dance slows and I express this sentiment of self-realization aloud, I shan't sleep a peep.

Post- heart normalization and expression, I will perhaps have slipped off into a final slumber...thereafter having only this to say:

Night Bud!