I’m on the edge of reason, precipice of despair
All definitions blurred, nothing left to share
My cliff crumbles before me, bits of life fall below
My horizon dies beneath the sea, nowhere left to go
Glance to yesterday, memories don’t ask why
Only fear wants me to stay, existence waves goodbye
Step a little closer, the breeze whispers in my ears
Let the ocean waves drown away the tears
Lean forwards, believe, believe you will fly
If you have no life, you simply cannot die
Spread your punctured arms out, float into the blue
There’s no one reaching out who wants to try save you
The cold of addiction drains away with the low tide
Nature cleans over, the place the body died
Do you think my cliff cared that I didn’t stay?
Don’t cry for me,… I learnt to fly today

dont play the player
because ive already played this game.
im one step ahead of you watching as you try to fool me again
im the leader this time but im pretending your footsteps ahead
im the player and your the fool but you think our roles are reversed
and im going to fall for the same ol thing over and over again
but in the end you'll be the one that hurts
or feels stupid for beliveing everything just like i did
i'll feel no remorse and i'll be the first and last to laugh at you
while you hide away your shame
you shouldve known me better to open that door again
now lets wait and see whos crying at the end.

theres alot of saddness i feel thats going around.some of us are lucky enough to be able to bear our soul and thoughts in writing it down to let it out .others keep it ******* inside not even wanting to speak of it .lol after hundreds of dollors in therphy the only thing i got out of it was how to journal everyday and to go back and read it and think about what id just said on paper.i found where all the poisoned feelings were comming from--- from there i just had to get the strength to wash it out of my life.theres still stains from all the toxins that built up over the years but at least with the help of a pen and notebook i was able to write things down that i just couldnt say out loud yet,its about how the internet is.... sometimes talking to someone face to face were to afraid of the reaction we might get --but to be able to type it out we dont have that fear of hearing the tone of there voice or expression on there face .i find putting things down on paper or on the computer i sometimes look back over it and i figure out the answers on my own or see where a situation wasnt as bad as it felt .we all have our own outlets for revealing and setting things in us free .its ironic i never thought about the pen and paper thing on my own,my therphiest use to act like she was getting the special edition everytime i handed her my notebook .i'll never forget the last conversation we had befor she had to leave her job.it was all about how someday she just knew i was going to write some amazing book and she wanted me to make sure i didnt forget who she was when i autographed it...i never thought about doing anything like that till the next time i picked up my pen ..now i hope she knew what she was talking about

My time is coming.
. My life is coming back.
. Walls and obstacles won't make me stumble..
Thunderstorms can never stop me.
I got dis.

i havent been blogging much ,ive been pretty blank.i got alot of things to say but so many words and subjects swirling around like a twister inside my head,,, just searching and waiting for the right moment .getting ready to go on a trip i think im going to take my notebook and pen and write down everything wonderfull around me.....right now there isnt much im trapped in a circle of negativity and i dont like it .i want to feel positive and be positive but im really sensitive to everything and everyone around me ,,and how they feel and act rubs off on me like charcoal .
ive been losing alot of sleep over alot of peoples problems including my own ..i want to fix everyone and everything but i cant even fix myself

sitting at the crossroads and the light is about to change.
I cant sit here forever. But IF i make this turn, our paths may never cross again