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The embrace made me shudder. My closed eyes and my limp body welcomed the hugging stranger, her arms slowly wrapping around my back. The heat protruding from her body danced across my skin. I didn't try to hide the fact that the stranger had made me melt into myself.

I hung limp like a rag doll inher arms, pondering my unlimited loneliness, basking in the rare moment of love this stranger was giving to me. A gift. I could feel her head rest on mine, nuzzling.

Despite the warmth, I remembered my broken home; my bitter tendencies towards those who passed me by, and the ability I possessed to drive others away. Through my closed eyes, tears slithered down my tingling cheeks. I sobbed; distraught. I heard a 'shush' escape from her lips. I pleaded with myself. I told myself that it was time to start hugging back; to show as much compassion towards others that the stranger had done for me.

I wrapped my arms around her, but felt nothing. No body; nobody. I opened my eyes and the warmth skittered away. I was still standing there, desperate to find something to hug only to realize that my arms were wrapped around myself.

No one was ever there
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christopher_trigger
No one hears me, understands me I speak in silence

hoping that someone will see my words, my message hoping to find love,

it has arrived so divine I wish for a stronger, better life filled with ever lasting touch

I dream the future, but hold the past My body is brimmed with so many confusions

Am I really here experiencing fullness?I must be, the pain is so real

the hurt

I feel could never be imagined but I will pull through into greatness and destroy

whatever crashes into me As I struggle I will fight until the end

Whenever it may come....



i will go strong

and without a guilty concious
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christopher_trigger
depression hits people in all catagorys

age,race,religion,and profession.

im really open about mine --why hide it i did for years

then i finely accepted it was part of who and what i am ...and i learned not to be so ashamed of it

i openly announce it whenever it fits the conversation ..its kind of like this is what im living with every day of my life

every waking moment it doesnt disappear for holidays or daylight savings time.

it might go into remission like a cancer --but its always in me --just like its in millions of

others that either dont think they have a problem or are afraid to admit they do..

sometimes by admitting our weakness's we help others conquer theres

but it doesnt make us weak unless we let it

sometimes were the strongest people you know

because were fighting what we know is a never ending battle

and still not giving up.

alot of people belive people with depression can choose to just be happy if they wanted

if that was the case how many of us do you really think would choose

sadness pain angry low self estem and worthlessness

over being happy/?
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christopher_trigger
im sorry for telling  just 1 lie that destroyed everything

i just dont understand how you could stop loveing me and not give me that last chance

i cant live with myself without you

all i asked in the end was to remain friends,

im out of your life now just like you want

i know im not going to make it

i been up all night crying cause i want to live

but i dont without you in my life.

i dont know what to choose

i cant and wont try anymore

i cant see myself happy

but i want you to be

why  did you lead me to belive

you still cared about me ,its the worse hurt in the world

when you find out the truth ..but i can always forgive you

why cant you me ,it was 1 lie ,how many did you tell '

me i knew alot more then what you think i did

but i loved you and still do .id love to sit here

and say come back

but i cant because i cant hang on anymore

the pain is to much,plz dont hurt anymore

like you hurt me,just be honest to them.

i need you

but you just want me back to hurt me again

id come back and let you i love you that much

how many guys would keep trying like i have

after being hurt so many times ,,i can tell you none

so am i crazy or really in love ..

right now i feel like ive lost my mind

ive lost everything eles so why not

it just wasnt suppose to end like this.

it wasnt

was it?
© christopher_trigger
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