why do you hang onto a toy you don't want
me, I'm the toy!

you left me alone,but kept playing me.
broken.pieces missing  .battered thrown around
dropped.... kicked..left on the ground ,stepped on
shoved into the ground.
alone in a dark closet,thrown in the trash.
forgotton...you move on
while im alone in the dark.

dear mom
In the distance I Know I’ve been down and searching low
Know there’s been times when my pride was the only thing on show
Still I kept trying having only found disaster at my feet
Thinking life was a joyride on the way to easy street
But I knew that without you I’d have crashed and burned
Knew without you no lessons could have been learned
But with a new release on life
I learned so many new things
Learned how to love so I’m going to spread these wings
Gonna amaze you with my wonders, going to reach into the sky
And only you can stop me so please mom you’ve got to let me fly!
Let me lift my spirits up won’t you see how high I can go
Without your support I’m still gliding if you wish harder I’ll glow
These mountains in the distance they don’t mean a thing to me now
I’m gonna dazzle them with my acrobatics somehow.
dear son
When u was an only child i put my wings over you
I said a little prayer so that your love would set u free
I knew you would get older and everyday I would find my might
So those days lost to wonder are just getting me ready for the fight
You see we work together; as loving mother and son you are the key
But you have unlocked my power now I'm sailing our ship to victory
Now nobody can stop us we are a united carousel of hopes and dreams
And who would have thought we’d get this far on a fools ship at sea

im thinking of someone
it makes my face smile,and my heart starts breaking.
im thinking of someone
that made my life complete
but because of a single lie it
ended and like a dropped mirror
its shattered and cant be put back togather.
theres nothing to do but move on
but the thought lingers and questions
that will never be answered .
but the memories bring a smile
and the tears are endless.

Life is one day at a time now
i wont choke on your absence
you wont be the only channel on my tv
i will enjoy the extra room in my bed
i will stand out in the rain
i wont pull the curtins when it lightnings
or cover my ears befor the thunder.
life is one day at a time now
i found myself
i need noone
i can live without you
im not dead am i ?

i been sitting outside staring up at the sky,
i watched a shooting star go by and i closed my eyes and just whispered to myself
"just give me back my life when i didnt have a care "
i rocked back and forth in my chair and spotted the moon hiding
behind some tress and i thought how beautifull -its just like me it should
stop hiding and come out and shine .
then i watched my dog chase one of them icky buzzy brown bugs on the porch,
i smiled .i rocked some more and just leaned back and stared at the stars ,i told myself
thats where i want to be up high and shining.
i heard my horse in the pasture making noise at something and thought about how neglectfull
ive been of it ,so i got up and called it to the fence and had a long talk with it about whats been going
on in my life for the last month,you know how you sometimes do with your dog or cat
cause you know there not going to tell no one or judge you ,why cant we be more like that ?
now its pushing 3am gotta get some sleep so i can watch the sunrise

You play the part so well,


Others really feel for you
Others could never imagine your pain...

Just look at how awful your life is
Look around you.
You're all alone.
Jealous.
Resentful.
Vengeful
As if something I did could have changed that
Can't you understand we feel pain too?
Its not a cross you alone bear..

But if your not happy, none of us can be
Dont spread that awful disease of yours
I dont want it near me.



You're nothing but a
Backstabber
Who once I called my friend

theres a part of me that hurts everyday when i stop and start thinking about you ..........its my heart,,,,sometimes it feels like a heart attack ,my chest gets tight and it feels like a knife is stuck in it and i cant pull it out.
if i do then i will surely bleed to death.
sometimes i lay in bed trying to go asleep and i have to just take a deep breath to hold back a tear cause i remember something about you that makes me smile.
i dont belive it will ever get easier i dont belive i'll ever get over you
and i dont belive i'll ever fall in love again.
i do belive someday im going to break alot of hearts and look back years from it and wish id broke more ...
i know i wont ever forget my mistakes ..but by remembering them ive learned theres room for me to be a better man.....i want to belive you still think about me and smile i also want to belive you still love me despite all the tears i caused you ,,
,its all i can do anymore is belive these things

i want to belive im on a better path and i want to belive all the doubts i still sometimes have,
is just part of moving on and knowing its for the best for both of us,
i belive i took my biggest step toward happier times ,the day i refused to be hurt anymore
by anyone and careing about myself more then i have in the past.
i belive i have a future now
even if it is uncertain
at least i saved myself before i got lost
now i can find my highway