Zipper your arms around me,
and meld into my eyes.
Button your lips to mine,
and let me breathe in that autumn air
while I'm wrapped in you.

Slip your hands down my waist
while I crack a weathered smile.
Stitching your fingers through mine.
Let me know that all of this coldness that we've felt
is merely from the seasons.

Pressing your forehead to mine,
leaving everything the Summer held behind.
We're just two people,
crunching fallen leaves with our feet,
which echo the sounds of what we're
trying so hard to avoid.

Sometimes I look at you,
and you seem to be looking back at me.
But sometimes you look away
as if you're afraid of what might happen
if you look just a second longer.

The way you keep looking back at me,
as if there was something in me worth seeing.
I wish I could envision the world
the same way you do.

Where everything is beautiful and new
and innocent.
Your world is untouched.
Immaculate.
Like a little kid.

But in some way, that's exactly what you are.

You'll love her with all your skin, tongue and lungs.
The way that the air is just so much more crisp whenever she's in proximity to your hands.
It turns the scattered dust in the atmosphere into magnifying glasses
Aimed directly at her
Spotlighting everything you wish you could put into words but can't
Because she's just too ******* unbelievable
That even if you tried, you would offend yourself and the gods with how little it compares to
The love she makes you feel in reality.

You would do everything for her.
Hold her until your bones start to crack
So that she'll understand just what you mean
When you tell her that you'll never let her go.
But she still doesn't get it.
She'll never understand that when you tell her that you want nothing more
Than to let your dust be her dust, her words to be in your cheeks
Her nose to be your daughters nose
You mean that you want nothing more than to keep her forever.

But you never will.
Because you never stood a chance.
You thought that by giving your whole self over to her she would offer you the same respect.
That's not how this world works.
It never was.
These valiant efforts of yours are now dubbed selfish and inconsiderate by others
For not taking her feelings into account.
Because she doesn't know what true love is.
She never felt the need to have you near.
For her daughters smile to be your smile.
For your hands to cradle her head when she's sad.
To let you talk for hours without listening to a single ******* word you're saying,
Because she's lost in the sound of your voice.

Because she doesn't know how to accept anything she isn't willing to give.

"And what then?" I asked,
With the fire roaring by,
And the ashes in the sky,
"And what then," I asked,
With a smile oh so sweet,
"What then when the world we know
Burns down to our feet?"

"And what then?" I asked,
With the waves smashing down,
And the wind whistling 'round,
"And what then," I asked,
With my shaky, trembling hands,
"What then will happen
To our once beloved lands?"

"And what then?" I asked,
Your tears mixed with my own,
And 911 calls on the phone,
"And what then," I asked,
With helpless cries like a dove,
"What then will become of
The dear ones that we love?"

Not here
Not there
               Not anywhere

No reassuring hugs
No disapproving tugs
No walking down the aisle
No disapproving my style
No comforting smile
Dad's been dead for a while

The smell of smoke
Invades me-I choke
The smell of alcohol
Drowns my soul

For it smells of your breath
& Reminds me of an untimely death
At 3am heading for the door
The gut explodes on the floor

How could I have let you leave?
Stay till the morning to hear your mother grieve
Phone call-so curt- what did they say?
That her son was splattered across a highway?

They said “instant upon impact”
How long is an instant? Long enough to react?
Did you see the windshield shatter- the pavement fly?
In that instant did you have the time to say goodbye?

I asked Satan for divorce
He said, “Alright, of course,
But you’re still swimming
In waters lukewarm and shallow.”
Here I thought I was hallowed
But I’m wrestling something nameless
I want it to be solid
His name is full of consonants
But I feel the vowels are valid
In His world it’s black or white
Night or day, light or dark
I ponder which one I am
As I count the ripples on tree bark
How long is my shelf life
How far can I travel safely
How much more can I take
Will I ever find my place
Butterflies into bombers
We must get back to the garden
Bombers into butterflies
We must get back to the garden