Today is a gorgeous day.
It's filled with words spoken passionately yesterday.
Boundaries laid that free my soul from the ugliness of servility.

Today is a day of light.
I shut my eyes to light when I'm in pain.
Maybe you do the same?
But when I exclaim my hurts with fervor,
Even when it means I ******,
Connections that shall go no further,
Should abuses so continue.

My pupils shrink to dots like I'm focused on the sun.

Today is a day so good.
Swallowed blood from the bitten tongue cauterizes love,
A seal more like a rug than a scab,
And when I ripped it away to show the wound I harmonized with some
     forgotten soul collective standing by to soothe begotten gashes.
And awoke to find divine all familiar acquaintance.

Today is now.
Some days are yesterday,
And others a distant tomorrow,
But momentous circulation is alive to perception always,
And when touch connects the true sum of all things,
And the levies lift allowing a super-fluid rush of sensation up into the perfect unknown,
Memory and foresight would classify as frivolity if the mind cared at all
     to cast judgment on matters impertinent to rapture.

And today is rapturous.

The light's reflected,
Redirected,
Each degree, a changed perspective,
Heated by refined intention,
Set all the more aglow,

They fought like cats and rabid dogs,
And when I cast the light it showed,
The needs they cast beside their honor,
As if one could hide his woe,

But wait,
To each goes their own truth, if told,
So they all received a glow,
Unique to all their pain,
And so,
To each a different flow,

They each maintained I knew their pangs,
And stated this in plain refrain,
Expecting that the others would feel all the more alone,

But when the others said the same,
"He knows that I alone am sane,"
Suddenly it so became,
Apparent I withhold,

The fact I understand the same in friend as in a foe.

The truth is,
I think you are an awful human being,
And I always have.
You have never had any of the qualities I was raised to value.
You are not meek, or unassuming, or polite.

And I hate us both equally.

And that's how we fell in love.

I find reasons,
I find treason in those who abide by no reason,
I think of means to inspire their demons,
To know what they do,
And desist in their heathenish
Lack of regard for the cause of their seething,

I push peevishly
Forth in my quest to relieve,
To gently correct all they do to achieve
The mess they attribute to forces unseen,
When I know in my bones they are living their dreams,

I acquire their trust,
By enacting their deeds,
I smoke and I **** with a reckless esteem,
And complain of my lungs and transmitted disease,
I say, "There's no love in the world." They agree,

Now I pretend revelations and steps,
Toward a new life, from a darkness, a depth,
And now when I speak they take pause and they seem,
To respect the same truths they once tore ream by ream,

Yea, it's a lie,
But my punishment's painful,
I can't stop pretending to be like the same folks,
That I've tried to save,
Now I drink and I claim,
That my money just slips through the holes in my seams.

What Happened?

You told me I was better,

And I believed in it.

There were reasons behind the assessment provided,

But the assessment itself became much more important.


What Happened?

I grew to value the opinion much more,

Reasons mattering less, and less, and less,

Seeking more as time went on,

The favor of those lower, and lower, and lower,

Until I became something I no longer approved of.


What Happened,

The question should have never been about better or worse,

But instead about addressing each individual,

As what he or she was,

Promoting understanding,

To prevent alienation.

You were responding,
To a folly,
With energy from a lifetime of pugilism,
You were bumfuzzled by the existence of the error,
And outrage took precedence over patience,

You lashed with your tongue like I was property in your plantation,
Like I showed a spirit that threatened to throw the yoke,
Like I was somehow audacious and menacing,
When all I did was display an effeminate flair,
A vanity that is, indeed, unbecoming,
And required correction,
And I wonder how you lived so long without knowing no quality can be destroyed by language.

You aggravated my condition,
You taught me how to hate myself,
And hate others like me,
And even now the qualities you saw remain alive,
I seek remedies for the pain you caused in every moment of my life,
Where once I confided in myself,
I now confide in no one,

You were wrong,
What I needed was a gentle correction,
A leader who could show me how a man's heart should glow,
But you so feared the light of your own soul, I know,
That dark hate became your refuge,
And you became a misanthrope,
Clinging to the memory of a fight so you could hurl it into the present's exposition,

I no longer wish to believe that pain can fix dysfunction.
So I lay your words to rest and a say a prayer,
For your immortal soul.

Hilarious!
There is no job description in this position,
I float between the frictions and feign conviction when the boss is witness,
At most I mean a fifth of what I mutter and I'm often listless,
I soften because I know I'm broke as **** and have that thought to grip with,

I cough, hoping to convince the powers present of a sickness,
And call in, whispering,
"Cover my shift, think I might need a prescription,"

Take the day off,
Try to get a sense of what has since become a mode of operation I once ripped upon like stitch and yarn,

******* me off,
That I can't save a cent and now I'm living on my savings that I swore I'd leave alone so I could quit this job,

It's not that it's really all that bad,
But I ***** because I'm sick of limitations I can't live beyond,

And I'm not really all that mad,
But I fritz because I know that I could really do some **** if I could get beyond

Excuses.