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I want someone to make
love to me before

I am too old to want
someone to make love to me
Could it be possible
Finally came across one
Heard about these for years
Thought they did not exist
I am so lucky
To be in the presence of one
Only dreamed of this moment
Never ever imagined it was real
Looking at one
Just a couple feet from me
In the same room
Can't look away
What if it disappears
Right before my eyes
Need to savior this moment
Remember this always
The night I saw a
Stud On The Couch
I knew him when we were much younger
Would see him in the hallways at school
We were at the same park in our small town
Funny how those beautiful brown eyes never changed

We got older and there where times we were in the same bar
We would dance to the same music but not together
The universe was not ready to let us be friends
Funny how those beautiful brown eyes never changed

We both got married but not to each other
Became parents and spent all our time raising our children
No longer ran into him anywhere
Funny how those beautiful brown eyes never changed

Started back to work after raising my child
Saw him walking down the hall and was thrilled to see him again
Was very surprised at how excited I was but still never talked
Funny how those beautiful brown eyes never changed

Finally started talking and found out how much we have in common
Our love for music and dancing is truly amazing
The universe has finally let us become friends after all these years
And it's funny how those beautiful brown eyes never changed
I am so tired of trying
I have no more strength
I have been beaten down
Do not have the energy to get back up

The black cloud has a hold on me
My thoughts are dark and scarey
The smile masks the terror
Must not let anyone see the fear

Sleep is the only relief I have
I close my eyes and tell the voices to quiet
Some listen and leave me at peace
Some just can not leave me alone

They need to have their say
Tell me there is only one way to quiet them
Close my eyes they say and never open them
I am trying not to listen but lately...
I used to think my future was bright
Seems lately I may not have been right

I try to look forward with high hopes
But all I can see are monsterious slopes
Go ahead take your shot
Tell me how stupid I am
Belittle me
Tell me I am ugly or fat
Tell me I am worthless
Does that make you feel better
More like a man
Is that how your dad treated your mom
Is that all you know
Well I am not her
I know I am smart
I am beautiful inside and out
No matter what size I am
There is nothing about me that is worthless
So do what it takes to feel more like I man
But remember I am not her
Of course I can see the scars that are his eyes
I was not put in his life to save him from his demons
I am not a miracle worker nor do I want to be

Nobody can change what happened in someone's past
What we can do is listen to help ease a troubled mind
We all have our scars and we all have our demons

If we only had the ability to erase those scars and demons
But that is not for us to do because you see those make us who we are
To erase our past would mean to also erase all the good things

The pain we all go through does make us stronger and wiser
But they also teach us to cherish the good along with the bad
So you see if those scars and demons where not there we would not be

FRIENDS
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