Driving over the bridge and old thoughts come back to me
It has been a long time since they entered my head
I figured they were gone and would never surface again

But I was wrong they are always with me
Those thoughts of would I be missed by anyone
How long before someone says have you seen her

Maybe I would be missed if the bills are not paid
If the laundry was not done
If there was no food in the house

Maybe I would be missed if the phone was not answered
The door bell wasn't answered
The mail was not delivered

Maybe I would be missed if the gifts weren't bought
The decorations are not put up
The cards not sent out

Driving over the bridge and looking down at the icy water makes me think
Would anyone miss me?

The moment when I  heard those words
All I could do is sit and stare and try not to react
Too many eyes that might see my fear
Too many ears that might hear my screams
Can not cry have to stay calm oh so hard
Must be strong have to be there for him
I pray hard and think positive thoughts
Hoping that it is going to be enough

Visit him as they pump his body with poison
Barely make it to the car before the tears come
Try to compose myself but I can not seem to stop
But I go back again and again and try to act like all is normal
Sit with him and tell him it is all going to be okay
Who am I God how can I tell him it is going to be okay
I want to be a warrior and invade his body and seek out the enemy
But that is not for me to do for I am not God

So I turn to my faith and pray to God
Please don't take my best friend from me
All I can do is hope that he is listening

I am ready to go
Not sure where
Just need to get out

I have had enough
No talking nothing to say
It is over

Tired of trying
Too many tears
No smiles anymore

Sit in the driveway
Where else can I go
Don't want to go in

Use to love this house
Now it feels like a prison
Bars on every window

Wonder how to be alone
Never have been
From my fathers house to my husbands

The loneliness is overwhelming
Two people here
But I am so lonely

I feel trapped
No where to go
Sad sad life

I am ready to go
Not sure where
Just need to get out

Why do I get treated this way
I am very independent you say
I am still a women can't you tell
But being taken for granted feels like hell