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There was a kingdom by the sea
that had a name
but most called it just
The Pearl of the Coast,
because that is what it was.
The riches within the city walls were more than an outsider could fathom,
and a bustling economy promised to keep it that way.
The Pearl had been led for half a century
by a wise King
and a just Queen.
Between them, they had one daughter,
who was pretty enough to truly count as one of the riches of their city.
Suiters came from far and wide, hoping to get
just
one
glimpse
of her fair beauty
before the fickle girl brushed them off her shoulders like mosquitoes.
It had no true spoken enemies,
for the walls and army were too great to conquer
but riches
bring dark men
to plotting and scheming.

There was a band of other kingdoms-
all prosperous, but not quite as much so as the Pearl
who were jealous and greedy
and coveted the jewels of the Pearl
all for themselves.
They would plan together,
but none could quite figure out how to get past the huge walls
and the spears of the watchmen.
But once, to their conniving company came
a Dark Magician
feared all around for his power and his wit.
These Kings of lesser kingdoms, though,
they saw only and opportunity to be seized.

They promised the Magician a share of the riches
if he would help them bring the Pearl to its knees.

The Magician, after little consideration,
obliged.

From their greed, he fashioned a Homunculus
shaped it like a handsome young man
more handsome than anyone could be born as
and sent him to the palace.
The Princess was vain and swept off her feet
by this new young man
and soon took to calling her.
There was one, though, who saw through him.
Perhaps it was his own jealousy that cleared his eyes,
but a young Sorcerer,
the closest friend of the Princess,
and the only man who had ever loved her truly,
warned of the Homunculus.
The Princess, smitten, was outraged.
The warning given by a friend only encouraged the relationship,
as those things often do
for children love to see themselves as Star Crossed Lovers
and the fickle Princess estranged herself from her oldest friend,
though the Sorcerer stayed loyal.

One night, however,
the King and Queen,
who themselves were quietly against the union,
were murdered.
The cause was clear:
Magic.
The guard turned to the Sorcerer,
for he had been turned down by the Princess,
and was, as they said, Hungry for revenge.
Only his past friendship saved his life,
and he was imprisoned in an empty tower a mile outside of the Pearl's walls.
He howled to be set free,
and the Princess would listen from her widow's walk.
Only when the howling stopped and was replaced
by a bitter silence
did her heart break.

After her marriage to the Homunculus
she started to wither
and hid herself in her chamber.
The guards would often see her wandering the grounds at night
wringing her hands and moaning in sorrow and paranoid fear.
"He might come back," she would whisper
and then burst into tears.
Often she was mistaken for a ghost,
and her parade of visitors slowly trickled to a stop.
Meanwhile, the Homunculus had taken control of the Kingdom.
He actually did more for the economy that the past King and Queen did,
for he had opened up trade with a shady band of kingdoms
that everyone had sworn that they had been in a Cold War with
just yesterday...

It had been nearly twenty years
when the Magician demanded that the band of kings
pay him for his work.
They had been ruling the Pearl from the shadows for some time now,
and he was ripe for his due.
The Kings' greed though had only inflated after they had their prize
as had their pride.
And they,
foolishly,
declined.
The Magician was outraged.
He called back his creation one day in March.

The Homunculus knew that the sword of Damocles was ready to drop,
and hastened in his escape
but
over the years
he had grown attached to his Queen
and it pained him to think of her suffering along with him.
He warned her himself
that the Pearl was to be destroyed spectacularly
and then he fled,
and she never saw his face again.

The Queen was horrified
and looked out over the people who she had neglected for twenty years.
No longer a beauty,
but a frightened old woman.
She knew what she had to do.
Grabbing her travel cloak around her,
the Queen rode as fast as she could
to the tower outside of the walls.
Her old friend was still sitting there,
chained to the wall.
Never had the woman seen such squalor, and it broke her heart all over again.
His hair was long and matted,
not peppered, but smeared with gray.
His robes were those that he had worn on the day he was taken away
crusted with filth.
The tower was falling down around him;
huge gaping holes where windows had been
mocked the poor Sorcerer
and the fireplace that should have been maintained by guards
was nothing more than smoldering coals.

The Queen fell to her knees and begged his forgiveness,
begged him to save the city that he had been shunned from.
But so many things about him had changed,
and all of the kindness had leaked from his eyes.
He rose onto his feet, and the rats skittered away.

"You fool!" He cried,
"I cannot save them!
The Magic coming has already been set in motion, and I,
I have not eaten more than rats and the dirt from the floor in more than twenty years.
I am hopelessly weak, with only the strength for one more spell. "
He grabbed the Queen's hands, the sorrow of his broken heart overshadowed by rage.
"You will watch this tragedy, for it is one of your own making!
I curse you so that you may never die,
never sleep,
not till you have worked the labors of every servant
of the world begins to burn!"
With that, he pushed the shocked woman aside
and, scrambling to the fire,
swallowed the hot coals
and died there in front of his betrayer.

The Queen could do nothing but watch
as the sky turned black,
and the sea rose up
and swallowed the Pearl.
The screams of her people were silenced quickly,
leaving her alone
with her thoughts
and the body of the only man
who had ever
loved her.
There is a difference between
pissy

and hot tempered

Pissy is
when someone says something,
says anything
they go off on a rant
cowardice, cravenness,
never ****** to your face
or rarely
because drama
good God, drama
Pissy is the bee sting
harmless but painful
nothing, something you can brush off
Pissy.

Hot tempered is
a chin turned up
a challenge to fight
say most things,
and they're just fine
but cross a line
and come out swinging
hot tempered is a boxer
in the corner ready for you
fighting for honor and the sort of hot blood
that only warriors can have
It all works in a cycle
I write
sad,
then fear,
then I'm doing alright,
then more fear,
then rage,
sad

A Whirling Dervish
That's what we are.
Kid trying to keep up
I want knew shoes
ones that will just float me there

always been a clever kid
nose in a book
or to the grindstone
decent grades
but could do better
*** I never can quite keep up

I break down
I mess up
I have a twitchy personality
makes me neurotic
nu-******
overly loving
maternal
and likely to get broken and swept off the table where it was that I was learning
the secrets
of the universe

Sexed up
hating ***
hating pleasure
but seeking it
a contradiction
and not happy with it
nobody's gotta tear me in half,
I'm doing that myself
but that hasn't stopped folks from trying

One was a snake
sliding around me
whispering things
manipulating
pushing
pushing
pushing
the other was like the spring rain
cold and sweet
and always beating on my head
they tried
**** near worked
but then after them,
one found the glue
and one to hold me better
and I'm still not there

watching a super nova in slow motion
gotta give you a headache after a while
pass an Aspirin
I talk like a bull whip
and I could give you whiplash how quick my moods shift
threatens to yank my own head off
You know what I mean?
I guess you gotta
Firecracker
over excited
panicked out
strung out on my own issues
then wheeled out to dry on the line
flapping there with the fish and your knickers
but hey, I could just go on all day
about why it is
and what it is
and what thing is bugging me now
and yeah, this is a long poem,
*** I feel like I've never talked to any of you
and you seem to like me
you know what I mean?
Like I said before
I'm a kid trying to keep up
and ****,
my head hurts
but I just gotta keep running
you have an issue?
Fight me
**** that
I'd win
get guilty
and I don't need that
so just stop reading, whatever,
if you don't want to be my friend
like I said, you may want an aspirin
'specially after this one

Means a lot to me that you read this far, though
The Blueberry tried

to escape from my lips

but instead

it ended in my hand

and back to my lips again.

The fall, for it, must have felt a lifetime
after dodging death once
but
like all things
something found it
a gentle touch turned crushing
snuck up from under it
bringing to the brink and past again

I feel its little soul
squeeze out on my tongue
bitter
sweet
almost overripe, but cooked in brown sugar sauce
it whirled from death so many times
that when I finally came
I found it in its best suit
and I robbed it even of that

Or perhaps, the suit of old age
of ripening,
isn't quite its best
maybe
when it was unripened
and pale
on the bush
perhaps that would have been more fitting
for me to rob him
of his style
Gonzo used to say
before they blasted him off with fireworks
only ashes
he used to say that
the American Dream was dead

I disagree
The American dream is alive
though I haven't found it just yet
My Nana is
well
calling her a bully isn't fair
but everyone knows she is
so we just put our heads down
That's nice Jann, That's nice

When the sun was starting to get stale
and she was thoroughly bored,
she set her sights on me
Now
the family regard me, I think,
as the fragile child
tough in some ways
willing to work, and work hard
but
thin skinned
and prone to moods
Nana doesn't give a ****
which is,
in a way,
nice
and maddening

So anyway
in front of the whole family
she told me
that I was going to be an unemployed failure
for my whole life
because I'm going to college
not for art
not for philosophy
no
for linguistic studies
(and this was after she started pushing me
to be an artist)

The family
was ******
shaken hornets' nest
Which is in a way nice
but somehow
maddening
and they stayed angry for three days
I got over it in one.


I have a bug bite on my ankle
I only noticed it this morning
the skin is cracking and peeling
like I had sun burn
but I don't
the skin is just falling off

Nana isn't speaking to me.
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