Trusting, sometimes to the point of gullibility,

I feel things deeply (too deeply for some) and express it when it's safe...

if not, I'll remain silent and stay away.


More random than most and pretty abstract,  I'm likely to take what you say very literally and sincerely care about every word.

Not extremely outgoing, though I can carry a conversation with pretty much anyone, but still can be so awkward in social situations.

I've been through a lot  and sadly doubted myself too much.

As life has rolled over me, I've finally come to the conclusion that I am no more or less messed-up than anybody.

Gotta own who I am, and they can take it or leave it

Apologizing or trying to be other than who I am, doesn't change a thing

And I just wont do it anymore!

numbness besets

after years of trying,

putting out a soft heart,

then repealing it

under fire.

hope again crushed,

I feel the fool,

but really not much else other than tired...

and finished...for a moment.

I let you define who I am

The waves of your opinion

splash out of your every word & action

onto the essence of me,

washing away all I may have esteemed in myself

with the fear of your disgust, your disapproval, your departure ...



I let you shape me.

The wind of your every prepossession

pelted against me sands of disdain,

eventually eroding away my own impressions of life.



I let you reduce me.

The fire of your critical appraisal

smolders in my soul,

incinerating bit by bit my vision of who I am...

until for protection,

I crawl away to hide a while

from your harshest elements.

Summer was

warm, fluid breezes on tan skin,

laughter, and water, and blue sky

over us.


Summer was

fierce sun

blocked by shades,

heating half-dressed flesh

to perfection.


Summer was

grilled burgers & brats,

and a cold Coke,

with potato salad

on the side.


Summer was

soft evening air,

with the first stirring of mosquitoes

as we slapped and scratched,

and wandered home in the dark,

.....satisfied.

Poised there on the precipice,

I dared to gaze into the depths

of your eyes;

as a wave of wonder washed over me

I found myself falling,

a rush of exhilaration

tempering the instinctive surge of fear.

Floating free again, I found no foothold,

and with relief ceased fighting the gentle tide

that drew me through uncertain waters

into your arms.

I'd like to be what you want

but  I fall short.

Life has trimmed back my branches,

limiting my emotional reach.


I'd love to stretch out

to where you are,

catch you and carry you

above where you think you can go.


Yet I'm trapped by the twisted distortions

of my trunk, my withered leaves,

and gnarled arms,

and I hesitate to even offer you shelter.


So I stand silent

as your gentle wind

stirs my branches in vain.

It feels easier at times to turn my heart away,

than to stand in the volatility of love;

to harden my heart,

than to live with the vulnerability

of having given it away.


A snarl erupting from my inner being

is an unfair response to your devotion,

but it rises as a scream of pain at the fear of loss...

I know this love to be fragile though true.


So I still the cry and stem the pride,

stepping into fear though I may tremble,

for I know the cause of love to be worthy of such sacrifice,

though a more timid heart would never know.