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1.8k · Mar 2013
Bestfriends
Christine Mar 2013
Confusion clouds your eyes

                As I push your hand close,

                                Closer to the ember that started the fire

My body says yes  

               As my lips whisper “no”

                                I want you in the worst ways possible

Just a taste

             Of
                         Ecstasy

The fire caught, I can see it in your eyes

As it welcomes you to a place of no redemption

Your fingers run through my curls knotting at the base of my scalp

“I want you, in every way”

                                                No. I should stop you.

I could, but I don’t want to …

You’re my best friend, and this is the closest thing I’ve felt to love

I don’t want to ruin this …

Just on more touch, your shirt falls off  

                                “I love you”     I know

As if that was the signal

                The dance of making love begins

                                My hands find a way of touching every single limb

Your breath is moist as it hits my skin

                                You smell forestry and tasty salty and sweet

God you’re a drug and I’m the Fein

Inject yourself straight into by blood stream

                                Making me need every part of you
1.2k · Nov 2013
~LOVE~
Christine Nov 2013
“I’ll never be the girl I once was. I’ll never laugh the same, hope the same, or love the same.”
“Good” I say. “That girl was weak and pathetic. Look how far she got you.”
Brutally honest
My heart aches saying it
But my mind reminds me
She’s not the same person she once was
Her shoulders deflate with the weight of shame
Eyelids heavy with contact
I try to explain, to reason
“You swam in a river of regrets,
Did you expect not to get wet?
That there would be no consequences?”
“I expected to get wet but never to drown.”
“But you jumped in without any lessons.”
“I know. I just didn’t expect the water to be so murky. It looked so beautiful reflecting the pale blue sky.
It all seemed
Limitless."
“You disturbed the surface causing a ripple effect. I tried to warn you that many drink from those waters.”
“I was a faithful consumer. There religiously every day.”*
“But the owner never changed the land to private though, he left it open to the public.”
It was all a riddle
The perfect chemistry of words
Describing the relationship
Of a boy and a girl
A boy who just didn’t want more
Who didn’t want the commitment of a girl
A girl who gave everything
With the promise of nothing
A girl I used to call best friend
But that same girl that used to finish my sentences
Is now among the hundreds if faces I pass in the halls
Out of it I’ve learned more
About myself and this selfish world
Love is not patient
And it is not kind
It will leave you devastated
In its absence
And powerless in its presence  
On your knees you’ll wonder where you went wrong
And honestly, you went wrong for ever falling for it
For ever believing it would make you love yourself
Cause without self-respect, self-appreciation and loyalty
Love will demolish you
Turn the ones you love most into strangers
and I can only hope I can be save from falling
To it depths

will you save me?
confusing and a bunch of thought thrown together not my best but ehh..
1.0k · Nov 2013
ROAD SIDE ROMEO
Christine Nov 2013
Never in the same place twice
Following the bold white line
Always hitching another ride
A touch as wicked as sin
And a smile that’s just as innocent
Decided to stay for the summer
Playing his guitar
On broadways coroner
A strum of strings
He had every girl’s heart
He’s gone now
Those summer nights didn’t last long
But his words still haunt me
“Do you ever
Just
Sit and wonder?
Sit and think about not
Thinking?
Pray that the numbness
Will take your heart captive
So that maybe
Just maybe
Not being enough won’t hurt
As much.
In a world this big
Were all so
Significantly small
I look around
At all these people
And think
Whose lives are really going to matter?
Who’s going to be remembered?
Then I think
Will I be?”
I didn’t look up at him
I kept my eyes low
I wanted to
Tell him
I wanted to
Kiss him
My secret love
Just a boy who’s
Charismatic
Clueless
Beautiful
Far from home
And close to my heart
But I know how much
Rejection can hurt
It’s like he knew I was
Just as broken as he was
Like I had as many broken pieces as him
Enough to fill the dry days with
Enough to share everything with
But not enough to fall in love with
1.0k · Nov 2013
~ARMS~
Christine Nov 2013
Vulnerable, my heart bled out on the table between us
Pulsing out the only life I had left
(Or so I thought)
I told you everything
Every feeling and regret
Your arms barricaded around me
Safety and reassurance
Warmed my soul
You weren’t laughing or discarding my emotions
You listened
And that’s all I could have asked for
I told you  
How I believed in you
How I loved how much you cared for your family
How I knew you’d make it far
A boy turning into a man with a good head on his shoulders
But as I looked at you I only saw regret
Not for not being able to call you mine
But for not believing in myself enough to take a chance
A chance on something that could have been everything I thought it would be
I saw a boy I cared for
A boy I will never stand beside but at an arms distance of friendship
And I realized
I’m okay with that  
And that I have so much to give
So much and I just can’t hold it in, but
All this love and passion I held for you wasn’t…
For you
It was meant for someone else
Someone I haven’t met yet
Someone who’s just as good of a listener as you are
But will give everything I give back and so much more
A boy who will shower me in
Affection and appreciation
I will always care for you
And I will always be here for you
Never doubt that
But I need to start being there for me
Loving myself and feeling worthy
Because I’ve come to realize my best friends boyfriends
Arms are not where I belong
873 · Nov 2013
~CHOICES~
Christine Nov 2013
Choices

Never been one for them

See, me, I like freedom

Because today a I’m writer confused and undecided

My decisions lay the with wind

So now do you see why a mind like mine just...can’t decide?

Tomorrow I’ll be a dancer

My limbs and soul connected as one

Fluent in a body language

Or maybe I’ll be an explorer

Find a new species

Or a love sick- heart aching novelist

Hoping to find an everlasting love

Or an over eager hormonal teenager

Wanting to find the time of their life

I don’t want to be limited

Cause when I look into the eyes of the old

I see nothing but hard work and regret

I don’t want that

I’ve got so much I want to give

And find

And if growing up means I lose that

Then I’ll stay this age

Never losing my faith in reaching my dreams

Or becoming limitless physically and mentally

I will be extraordinary

Like no other

Or maybe tomorrow I’ll be…me

The one and only

Who eats way too much

Loves more than they ever knew how

Chooses to walk away when no one else would

And gets ******* at the tiniest things

Gets grumpy just because I had to wake up

And hoping that world will become a better place
Christine Nov 2013
I could see my breath as I rested my head against your thigh.

It was almost as thick as your cigarette smoke

Which crawled down my throat and burned my nostrils

We couldn’t afford the heat bill, we couldn’t afford anything

But I stopped mentioning that

I remember the first time i did,you got so angry

I watched the defensive walls begin to build

The comments made you feel less than a man

Because you couldn't provide for me

At least not in your mind

It made you feel like your father

I watched the muscles in your neck strain against your skin

Any second now… I thought they’d rip right through

The vein in your temple

Growing bigger as you yelled

Your voice pierced my ears like glass fibers being shoved through them

You told me you knew I was weak

That you knew I couldn’t handle it

You left after that

In a rage of red, leaving destruction

The night seemed cold after that, chilly

Watching the clock I think to how we got here

I didn’thear your footsteps till 4:22

The morning became still

As my heart beat matched your steps

There was no car alarm going off anymore

No hissing from the cat fight in the ally

It was just quiet

I watched the door **** move

You came right in no hesitation

And I knew you felt miserable

I could see it in your eyes as I brushed your tears away

Felt it in you touch as I kissed ‘I’m sorry’ away
751 · Apr 2013
Untitled
Christine Apr 2013
I know what these hands are capable of

Seen it-

Felt it-

I know the depths of their strength

I’ve always looked at them as something fragile

Always giving- never taking

Gentle and

Always there to give a hand

But the anger inside

Can transform them

Create them into something distant

Something I promised to leave behind

Yet adrenaline is its own drug

Spreading, leaving a burning path in my veins

Eyesight sharper

Breathing harder

A bubble from the past

   I just wish you weren’t the one who’s going to pop it

   Because

  This anger isn’t your entirely your fault                              

Yet you’re going to be the one who feels it all

As it finds an escape

A release

From hatred, pain, and loyalty

….I can’t do it

What I’ve done so many times before

I promised to never go back to that dark place

Never give in, prove them wrong

That you can forgive

Your heart isn’t gone

But….

It’s getting harder to walk away

A war between my body and mind

I know what kind of person I am

Never would I have thought I’d stoop so low

Lose my dignity

All because I can’t stop your words

From slithering their way into my ears

Crawling in and under my skin

You want it

You live for it

Drama

It seeps out of you

Rolls through your eyes

With strong anticipation

I swear the walls cave when you walk down the halls

Leaving proof your words are destructive

Your presence unsettling

Ill grint my teeth for now

Bite my check to stop my quick tongue

Cause these hands are what I make of them

These hands won’t be the cause of hurting

These hands are mine

And I chose

To walk away
694 · Jun 2013
~ A Lovers Regret~
Christine Jun 2013
Just give me a moment
There’s so much to say and so little time
Descending like smoke
These words fall from my lips
Exhaling the poison that’s kept me bitter
And inspired by only those close enough
To see that I haven’t been myself
Maybe then you’ll understand
You could have been my deepest regret
Left with empty questions
Demanding echoes
What If’s…could have been’s…
Haunting answers I know not to ask
So,
On this sharp tongue they’ll stay
Tingling with curiosity
Forever bound
To look into eyes,
That only hold the promise of friendship
Dark beautiful eyes
Cascading shadows, you’ll look her way
Bask her in admiration
While I fall in love with the thought of love
In love with the undeniable desire
I’ll blame myself,
For this hurt
Then lose myself,
In the chaos
To an old friend
Bitter liquid, it’s been to long
Since I’ve felt your comfort
Remembered your burning path
To memory lane
Through the journey
Of bringing this glass to my lips
I realize only the strongest woman survive
My mother did always call me a *****
629 · Nov 2013
~HIS KIND~
Christine Nov 2013
He’s beautiful
Don’t stare to long
He’s charming
He’ll make you fall in love
He dangerous
The kind they say to run from
Cause I fall
Again and
Again
Each time
Deeper
More obsessed
With wanting to be wanted
It’s not the first time
God!
If
Only
It could be the last
I’m tired
So ******* tired
Of dreaming, longing, wanting
Only his kind,
Does this to me
Makes me weak
With just the thought
Of his touch
Perfect kissable lips
But I will never know any of this
Cause me
My heart
Beats a different
Rhythm
Then the rest of them
586 · Nov 2013
~ A SEASON IN HIS EYES~
Christine Nov 2013
There’s a season in your eyes

A desire I couldn’t recognize

You’re a touch of temptation

A boy with a bad reputation

You feel like letting go

Baby you promised forever

So if breathing means dying

Let’s hold our breath

We’ll be stiller than winter weather

You told me you were broken

But I knew it was beautifully

A jagged past

I don’t care if it cuts me deeply

Your scares make you a perfect match

For my two arms

So crash into me

Bind the stiches together

We’ll heal and prosper together

Cause they don’t understand that

It’s easy to be a saint when you have nothing on the line

So will do whatever we have to, to survive
476 · Apr 2013
Mine to hold
Christine Apr 2013
Possession strangles

The breath from my throat

What was once mine

Crossed the threshold

Reminding me that

Even I can fall to the

Vigor of love

Human to touch

Weak at heart

I thought I was invincible

Felt it in my blood

But then…you tore me apart

Like pictures ripped

You left me

To land

Scattered across the floor

Becoming another memory

Distant and cold

But I paid my dues

To make ends meet

loved you

even though it clear to me

this was never, ever gunna be...
437 · Jan 2013
~Poison~
Christine Jan 2013
I'll speak to you in beautiful tongues
And you'll believe in every word
So ambitious with with your love
You gave to me so naked
So trusting that my intentions are  pure
Baby boy I'll give you my full attention  
But only for the few hours called night
Will be so high on lust
smother our Senses with each others body's  
Just another night for me
Will be a night that haunts your every thought
You'll fall for me just as I'm leaving
You'll forever try to find a piece of me in every girl
But you never will
Your boys will tell you they warned you
You'll tell them they don't understand
But they do in deep depths
Cause your not the only one I gave my poison to
422 · Mar 2013
~Infectious~
Christine Mar 2013
Infectious



His words have a way



Of speaking to my heart



Never asking permission



Of the logic I still possesses



He whispers



‘You’re driving me crazy girl’



If he only knew



The thoughts a girl can consume



Hmmm that boy



He’s a charmer



Wistful with words



That boy, yeah, him



The one with his crew



Mirrored faces



But he’s gleaming in the eyes



He always looked right through me



So why does he say I’m beautiful now



That boy



With a voice of a man



But the intentions of a boy



Taking before asking



He had my heart in no time



But that boy, as sweet as the words



He once spoke to me



Is the same boy who



Fell in love with me after



her broke my heart



its that boy that I love, but can’t trust



That boy says he’s changed, cant there still be can us?



That boy says he’s sorry, will it be enough?
402 · Mar 2014
Tonight
Christine Mar 2014
Who knew a man could wear the years so well
Still devilishly handsome
I'll never mutter a farewell
I’ll never say I want you
But ill lean in to every scorching touch
I’ll never deny you, but I’ll never accept you
An illusion
You wrap yourself around me
Tonight I’m preoccupied
 those thoughts won't leave my mind
Tonight I’ll use you
For a handful of regretful moments
I’ll whisper the words that have danced on my tongue
And you’ll say them back
Enthusiastic hands, you’re the first to touch
I don’t want feather touches
I need raging red marks
I need to be reminded that you need me
that you want me
Christine Nov 2014
They say nothing last forever
Moments scattered between
Tired hellos and haunting goodbyes
Love runs deep till a fatal surrender
Lust runs wild in a sinners heart
But in this moment
So infinite  
I clasped to it with a yearn
Heavier then the loneliness
That weighs my rib cage
The core of it beneath it lays
burns through my veins
So familiar I saw it in your eyes
As you watched the sway of my hips
Dark and clandestine eyes
Like flames seducing my inner *****
You craved a sensation
A night of relentless blues
A gaze so ravished
Daunting souls
Resenting love, longing for redemption
But will you feel the same
When dawn breaks
My body kissed by the morning light
Will you chase the high with me into another sunrise
Our world's spiraling
Into each others arms
Love is our truest desire
Lust in our defective nature
So human in its existence
Falling in love with impeccable fantasies
Blemishes scar you corrupt heart
Not finished
377 · Nov 2014
Canvas (Draft)
Christine Nov 2014
It's the first kiss I've been waiting for
The slight curve of your bottom lip
Intense brown eyes penetrating deeper then last night's..
Knees weak with such a beautiful smile
And yes it's been awhile
Since I last saw you
But time and distance
Mean nothing in the eyes of a regretful lover
We were just messy sheets
Drawn shades
relying on hips that sway
With every moan that escapes
Riding a breeze
Vibrating through the walls
Through the springs of your mattress
the rickety window of your downstairs neighbors apartment
High off lust
Our canvas exploding with damaged love
Reds, blues
Dripping down the shower walls
As we fog up the mirrors
Reflecting just who we are
Savages to instinct
Bleeding through our relentless attraction
Absolute in its purest form
Craving an inanimate touch
Ravish me baby
Cause it's you
Its only ever been you
Make me a promise
And seal it with a kiss
Never a farewell but always a risk
Leaving my heart here.
I was your perfect distraction
You my downfall
Lonely handsome men are my weakness
But broken men, my destruction
And you are as defeated as they come
It's not finished...I'd love feed back to make it better, where I could go with it..or where I could elaborate more idk

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