I'm scared.
I'm scared that if I show you all of me, you'll leave.
You'll leave because I'm too much and overwhelming.
How am I supposed to open up?
Knowing there's a chance you'll get caught in the cross fire of my emotions like the others.
Yes I'm sensitive and clingy and I like to talk a lot and yes sometimes I may overreact.
But deep down, I have the biggest heart of anyone you or I will ever meet.
I live in this world where I feel alone.
And I have this belief that if I find the one who cares to listen,
I can show them who I really am and they can be apart of my beautifully chaotic inner world and I will never have to face those feelings alone again.
I want what people have in the movies.
A love that consumes me.
A love that sweeps me off my feet and cures all my problems.
But that isn't realistic.
Movies are a fantasy and this is reality.
And in reality,
I am sensitive and clingy and tend to overreact.
And chances are, you'll never meet the real me.
So I will write it all here.
Letting the strangers online read my inner thoughts because I am too scared to share them with you.
And if anyone bothers to take the time to read this,
thank you.

I tried so hard.
I could feel you slipping away but I couldn't catch you fast enough.
Night after night, your memory haunts me.
Im tired.
I'm tired of thinking because its only of you.
I'm tired of dreaming about something I can't have.
Don't you see what you've done to me?
I've hit rock bottom and
the saddest part is that I'm waiting for you to come pull me out...

I wish he would talk to me.
And no I don't mean talk to me about the show we're watching or the next video game he want's to buy.
I want to hear about his biggest fears. Or the moment he was at his lowest.
I don't want to hear about the goofy late nights with his friends or the time his cat scratched the **** out of his hand.
I want to know about what goes on in his head throughout the day. Or late at night when he can't sleep.
I want to know if is inner world is as dark as mine.
I can't show him all of me if I can't see all of him.
I wan't to see HIM. Not the mask he puts on everyday for the world.

That is way more beautiful than any poem I will ever read.

Hold me a little longer.
Hold on until this all becomes a memory.
Hold me closer so I can memorize your scent.
Hold on before I before I struggle to remember your sweet voice.
Please just hold me a little longer,
I'm not ready to forget you.

What do you see when you look at me?
The girl you used to love or the girl who broke your heart.

don't look me in the eyes cause i'm not here
my body is a corpse but my ghost isn't far
dreaming of a life where we're all okay