Sometimes I catch myself feeling guilty for not wishing you a happy birthday.

But then I remember all the years that I waited for you on my birthday. Too drunk, too high, too careless to remember.

Somehow I still feel guilty. But I swallow it down and move on with my life.

I”m scared that I will love you forever …

Let's watch a movie
Be sure to pick one that makes you feel alive as you watch it
The kind that makes you feel like your life could be bigger than it is
Afterwards, you find yourself wanting more,
Inspired to live.

And then let's hold on to that feeling as long as we can

If I were in a room of all the people I have loved,
My heart would choose you.
But my head would choose another because I fear you no longer want me.

Wrong person, wrong time.
Worst kind of heartache.

I know deep down it will never work.
But we can play pretend for 10 more minutes? 10 more days?

I am a lot.
I told you that when we first met.
I put a caution sign on my back and yet you still claimed to want me.
How do you feel now?
Now that you know it's not always sunshine and rainbows.
When I sleep for days on end and I can't even begin to tell you how I'm feeling.
I cry to you for help and yet your overwhelmed.
What did you expect?
How can I give you what you deserve when I barely love myself.
You say I'm not the victim but you don't live in my head.
Who are you to tell me how I'm feeling.

I am so grateful for getting the opportunity to know you.
Before you came along, I had convinced myself that I would never find someone who could be encouraging and kind and honest.
"You seem to flip my insecurities inside out like a shirt I’ve been wearing wrong this entire time. My clothing have finally become something I’m proud of."
So thank you for showing me that I deserve more than the bare minimum.

See ya later friend...