I don't wanna be here on earth,
And make the same mistakes..

Tonight maybe my last night to watch my  dream come true..

I need your guidance
I know all of us need some guidance..
I got some if your wondering

If we put them together what will we accomplish?

Here I am Watching.....him!
Thrash everything around me and now my strength..
...it's failing as I drop to my knees and he kicks me where his sword has been.
This is it
This is it...
...coughing up blood I was nothing but a past to him.
And now he wants to forget me and let my last seconds to remember this...this.....stupid kid!!!
cough
cough
"Go ahead finish me off"!
As his sword pierce my thoughts
It gets blurry and all I see is new ones.

With the past me meet the past me  I eat blasphemies.
The inner me with no energy so I took a drink.
Where science be?
Where does science lead it use to hangout with me.
But where it leads

Tell me where it leads I love to show you please,
Take my hand and walk with me.
We **** it!!!
Call it society!!!
Refill it!!
Now that's philosophy !!!!
Repented??
Theology.
The gemics are just a soccer team
That kicks around the kid in me....

That made me think people like you and me are better on the out courts of what were remembering.

I think it's safe to say unlock the safe with the key that you made and now your stuck giving smiley face to the DUI you got that in the pick your just breaking...dang!
Simalar objects are now shaking at the things they didn't do but just look at the lies there making.
Hard to say who was wrong to make the rights when every single one of us would of done the same wrong that seemed right with a life like yours.....right?

If I could put my two cents in for this guy,
Justin...just live life and always think twice.
Public...listen to his life before any songs he writes.

My hands turn to dust each day,
I can move but it's like which way?
Each lane is like please stay
But my heart is screaming don't stray just go and don't wait!
My mind is like a ship
It can rock you to sleep or be the worst ride you will ever take.

Will I be okay?
If I ....just walked away ?

I'm dawning on a new way,
And I'm so close to moon the in this place
I've been fake, I've been cold I've been real I was so gay...

Will i be okay?
If I....I left just everything?

Sunrise of a new day hits my face...as the steering wheel warm up from the sweet noon day.

Will you be okay?
If I....just left  you and that place?

"I left myself so I can be right today
You was right when I left you for a Better way
Right or left will be yours just give me up ok..."

Flirting with worthless with worthless was it worth it to flirt?
Naw It wasn't I took it like I'm sort of hurt.
The other part is fine to get spit on by the stupidest remarks I say to myself.
Even though I'm standing close to my destination...I'm covered by  the past things that tend to lie,
Or lay without a surprise myself leaps for pride and fame that in the morning I'm just gonna hide.
And yet I bring them to light
For one day death will die and all the things of it...
Meanwhile I'm not gunna be deaths puppet.

Seem so easy to call you savior...
Not close enough to call you God.


Open field of crushed flowers,
She goes and picks for Daddy's hands are never  wired..
...to the "sweet life of California's cheerleader anthems.
Good kush and alcohol the best song she's done since she's the captain of her own life.
What's right if Gods people ain't tight like skinny jeans she wore that night ?!
Burning questions and she puts it out by people's opinions.
Old routs start to show as she gets close to answers..

"Seem so easy to call you savior,not close enough to call you God."

But...one day she will trust him and learn how to see him,
Someday he will call her and she will come runnin and fall in his arms and the tears will fall down and she will pray:

"I want to fall in love with you".



Seem so hard to hold my faith here,
But Close enough to see he's right..

Climb the highest mountains,
I swimed the lowest sea under me.
I solve what's not a problem,
My problems solve the questions in me.

It's so easy to play the bad guy
That means it's so hard to let every scene be for the Good Guy.

Yet both wrestles to be the star of that scene..
You have the director the executive and the producer.

If one was body part and the other two me and life...I hope I'm not making this complicated.

Psha yes I am
And what does this have to do with a shadow?

"I believe I hide in the shadows of my Good actions"
Covering up the bad that easily entices me to be harder worker of the right things.

Can it be possible?
Are we just basketball?

Or something to hold on to, just to watch memories form slow...

Before I get ahead of myself I will decapitate.
My mind is trusting again and it wants to penetrate...
But my heart is made to be who I am and no longer lend space

"Thought" of you today,
Woke up and found myself wiping the silly choices out my face.
Everybody messes up..can't you relate?
Even if I think your perfect each and everyway...each and every space with the decisions you make.
Like the one when you called bae...sometimes that's the only thing that lifts my day...
Thought of you today...
Even if I'm your ex
L.o.l
Smily face

Gotta start watching what I eat....
Last night was the same ol thing
I took a bite.
It looks good but it's so bitter
When I see my love walk away ...it brings snow to the winter.
Forgive me

just hide in the dark,
Waiting to be seen
All my words that write
Is getting caught by your mind!

Oh wanna taste...
Oh I wanna see....

Sprinkle little  thoughts,
Makes me hard don't let them see...
Oh it flows like milk
And it's sweet like honey!

I burst by your words...
I am soaked like a *******....

Your Happy trail what I saw,
Images of little things
I can taste it in my mouth
Oh it taste so sweet!

Guess who's lurking....
Guess who's lurking...



"I'm paralyzed..paralyzed  I can't move.
Recognize...recognize he wants me to,
Ima keep runnin
Runnin
Runnin ...from you.

I am tired of earth, I am tired of me..
Entangled by lies,pulling powers that haunt me
Don't be curious, he watches my wonderings.

Blow the trumpets, cause the clocks has stopped
Here I am looking down blowing myself up,
Gaze at the mirror I hate what I got
But glad to say one day this body will rot...
Then what?

I am tired of this world, I am tired of my room,
The dragons call me to slay them soon.
To much memories with demons I know there's a heaven..

I am tired of.....being here I'm ready to leave
Walk one step I step into eternity.

Dream after dream and there's a lot,
Please after please until he got up and ran out...

Ever sense that day my feet been free of old routs,
Old shouts and too much of digging except climbing out.

Oh I loved how the chains became my mouth and the dirt was the best way to sleep with dead things that never would speak out.

They blow trees now just get away
Without even running somewhere to make there demons shake,
I have broken the curse and every way of baracade I break like I'm the gate!
Whoever needs to just leave there's always an escape...
I open the door to a new place when I fall down stop what I'm doing and PRAY.

Hope somebody will listen to me....>.>


You can stay here
Runaway
Leave from town
Runaway
You can hold on
Runaway
Stand your ground
Runaway
If you don't take your chances there's no way you'll never know..

Cut out a piece of my eye today....only because it was causing me sin.

Flowing like the water baby
This is what his problem
Maybe take the world it makes you crazy
This is what is to me.

Astronauts become so  lazy they don't tell us thet there leaving.
Can I get a kiss goodbye or something that you always tell me.

Lies, lies lies,lies
That's all I hear!

Die,die, die, die
Or disappear


Hook:
I'm so out of here

I disappear I disappear

Shine your light ,shine your light!!
Be Reveal...
Be revealed....


Pridefulness is what you want
You cover up the goldly stuff
And satans gunna make you lunch
So foolish when it comes to this

Son of God we need your love
Like a whole in one that's playing cause
I never seen the difference of
A perfect one to helps cause

Lies(4x)
That's all we hear

Die(4x)
Or disappear

Hook:
I'm so out of here

I disappear I disappear

Shine your light ,shine your light!!
Be Reveal...
Be revealed

About to be 20 guys and girls
And I will like to thnk everyone who reads this that shared my moments and my heart in these poems...and listening to yours ( the reader) you help me to know I'm not alone and all of us has a heart and fears and joy and love.

Thnk you for loving me and yes this is for you... I don't mean to come off corny but I have kik,Instagram,twitter
I would love to be your friend and know ur story and just be buddies.

Kik: (Nehpetz)
Instagram:(crusipic)
Twitter:(Steveo18O)

               "Let the love in and never let them lock it, even if you got a penny in your pocket".

With these I wept bitterly
See the sea knows me we flow the same never aimlessly.

Intercede for a better me
Deep to deep I lay down on this cold floor.

What's the code for?
There smiles will rot when the secrets hit there ear drums.

What music do u here?
The song of worthless shots as they die to play beer pong.

My love..
My love has been swept under the rug like vicious dawgs who tug and tug and finds out they smeared the blood of another living animal.

It's the light my eyes love with the right I write more bugs that crawls and feeds off the savior  love.

I need trust even if I don't trust myself or nuns who told me when I was a kid Mary is better then Jesus.

Count lies like the teacher already know who it was,
It was me ...
The lover, the lethal the one who has the brown eyes.

See the sea I weep bitterly,
Intercede for a better me that I won't go walk around in love aimlessly

Sniffing on that Miley Cyrus,
Asian  eyes if I be honest.

Tell your mind I can't be thought of
Perfect picture well just straight your mind up.

Too much! Too much!
Give it all away

Dead pres falling everyday..

Dang, that make you feel some type of way..
That we standing on flippin plane.

Please stay
Please stay bae

Cause your the only one who make me taste
Cause your the only on who make me feel
Dang! My shoes look great
But your love I will like to run in place
And your hand is like my great escape

Sniffing on that Miley Cyrus
You look better when I don't try it


Asian eyes but you still  smiling

Sweet bass and hello poet
Treble planes that flys on it.

Head phones that hold music,
But open up and let me do it....ha!
That's ******..

Gutter mine Im blowing kisses
Missle toe  my feet tappin..ha!
That's new Jordans

Sanctified my hands are clapping,
Reader prolly like is rapping?
Just join the dance

DANCE
Uncle Sam!!
I am pointing like his hand..
Watch the man
Watch the man
I'm just saying lift your hands
Lift your hands.
Put your song on and join the dance..!!!
Join the dance

Silent bored and shame,
iPhone, ****, no gain.

Reveal, my meal the same,
Fornication, my grief, the pain.

Knows well, well known by games,
Games choke, prayer toast to his grace.

He gets up wipes the dust and guilt and sin and walks away.

5:43

I plea my case

My legs crumble, as I crawl to the alter,
My eyes defiled by *******.. Here my feet is weak and my hands stumble.

I draw the escape,
But I choose just to stare at the pencil..

Erase the bad habit and find that it only makes it worst to fight alone...

I draw the escape,
As I quickly see other utensils

I'm weak father I'm weak!
My eyes stare down at his feet as he chose to get beat for me,
While I was steadily beating my "meat".

Escape draws me,
As I Run....brokenly.

I'm not perfect there I said it!
I need your strength or I'm headed for the tale of the Damits.. The cursed the curses the unrepentant.

I'm so ugly when it gets to this,
Beauty is vain anyway but I wouldn't regret it..

You gave me life just to live it,
And death just to see it.

This is my prayer
" Father forgive me and all those nights I came except coming to you..I...I regret it.
Lord I repent and I don't want nothing to do with this!
Draw me close to what is heaven,
I honestly need you
Jesus...
I'm desperate.
No longer will I run to **** and the world to help me for my ignorance.
I see that there blinded with it
god I stand here to night saying...
I'm forgiven,
Give me your spirit for I know that will settle it...
Help me
Save me
I need it ...


I admit it.

I'm dangerous

I'm lost and love has never,(left me)

I'm tough I'll walk till I am...(empty)

It's wet it drips from in me

Okay I'm scared!!
Are you happy?!! (Now)

Hook:
(There's fog in my city)

It's too much..I'm slowly Fading (gently).

No buts...my friends have all (left me).

What! Okay I'm done pretending

Hook:
(He's  the Fog in my city)

"You may need me there to carry all your weight,
But You're no burden I assure...
You tide me over with a warmth I'll not forget,
But I can only give you love".

Fall on me tell me!
Everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever with me
Ever the same...

Love...
Your hand is still with me.
Trust...
I see why you cut me.
Mom
Pour me a hug please

I'm drunk... My tears won't stop coming!

I've done what most will do for fame

Look up!  Cause hell ain't the only thing,
It ain't the only thing that's not playing games.

What...
Your questions still tempt me
But..
My heart ain't the thing that speaks for me.
Trust..
Thank you for holding me
Love...
Build me where my dad can see.
Mom...
One day your hugs will be free.

I'm drunk...but tears are not my enemy...

I'm done! Cut me up and finish me..
I look up distracted by heavenly beings,
Distracted by Godly streams
There deep!
I diving  till I'm not living ...

Love..
Thank you for killing me

Oh I did it on purpose,
Wait what your not mad?
Okay shouldn't I be scared or something?
God your love is strong...
Wait if I do it again I can see your fustration
And it's true you love everyone but hate the sin I'm doing.
What would we call that?

God: grace my son for only a time period,
Don't push what you can't
And don't stay in sin when you can't come out...
One day I will have to judge
And before I do I want you to see my love from my very mouth.
"I am love and who ever loves me will obey my commands".

Zeal: amen

The monster under my bed is scared of me...
Yeh weird
I saw it watching me when I spoke these words but the name it self was like I was Grrrrr
Hold your weight and stay in a right place and say in Jesus name.
Your gunna find something weird

Just look at him .. I can tell he's been going to the gym.
******* out the shirt only underwear on so I can see "it".
He's so innocent psha more like conceited .
Looking around his room this might be hell for me right now, laying on his bed I'm telling the boys down stairs to calm down.
He's a friend! Not food
Back my lust down until it knows what do.... Well in this situations of course.
Ehh I feel like hannible with a torch!
Ready to burn everything that's keeping me from eating this friendship up with plea-sures.

So. Much shoes you got as I look around there is a hint that these blue roses on his window is making a sound of.....
Is he? Would he? Fuuuuuudge
God.... Please help me

Seeing relationships crumble,
Mine in one peace.
Title of a Uncle...
Is that me?
Red Toms, black skinnys in a old tank.
Was that free?
Bullets fly across the table of imperfect people things.
Now where is peace?
Something under the table still kicking me as I scream "calm down"....please.
Looking at the bruises, now was that cheap?

What?
Ya
Oh okay....sure
Yea I'm down.

Ha, .....wait where?
Yea you can
My place or yours?
Cool yea yea I'm down.

Huh?
Na just hurt myself today
Ohhh u know I slipped yea ...I...slipped.
Well I am hungry
Sure yea I love that place I'm down.

Here?
Like right here?
Umm where would I put my clothes?
Okie okie I'm going down...
......
It kinda taste like salt to be honest.
What? Ya sure call me whenever bro I'm down.

Hay,
Ha I just hurt myself again
What! Noooo please don't make me say this
I just been feeling down lately that's all...
What?
(Sigh) my place or yours?
Ya I'm........I'm ....... Down.

Yea?
I'm coming.....
Wait church ????
Alright man hey Zeal ....umm thanks
I don't know why I'm crying I just never been uplifted that's all....
Wait hold on I'm getting a text......
Ok umm that was my phone you just threw.
Where?
I ......I...... I'm up for it ya I can sure need a friend

Beauty.... What is it?

Cause I haven't seen such divine look that's exsquizit... Ha I spelled that wrong.

I believe everyone has it's on mirrored beauty about them,
When you cry when you laugh Oh your eyes and those hands.

The heart sees I can't, my eyes my hands oh lies and cramps.
But that's the beauty of those, this and that!

Your beautiful without the second glance.
Cause your living and that and this will see you when I can't.

What is beauty...?

It's ......it's...... YOU and your glance at what's beautiful about your self.

Once a upon a time there was a boy name Sin.

His hair was black and he walked with a Grin.

He had a goat but not someone to call friend.

Sin ate, walked and ran with this goat,
Until one day that Goat spoke.

And it said " tale me a joke"?

Bursting with excitement Sin said "I...I don't know?"

The Goat replied and said "just try"?

So Sin in thought in circles he walked until his brain fried.

Then The Goat said stop looked up and thought and said " the best joke is to lie".

The Goat taught everything to this boy like how to get friends.

And with that Grin Sin said " together we will rule the land"

The Goat said you will be my body and I will be your head.

Sin said how can you do that?
The Goat said "I can do all things that are not possible my FRIEND".

Sin now caught to attention and touched by that word,
The relationship got deeper as Sin started to notice he was growing a tale.

"A tale????(sin)

A tale..( narrator)

As the Goat  laughed and said tale me about your self....

So sin tryed to speak but grew horns and started to choke.

As the Goat said " do you love my joke"?

(To be continued)

When I left you that night
You had tears made of gold.
Wrestle and fight
Just let me go so ....
I know what your tryna do,
What you're tryna prove?

That you don't love me,
That you don't care.
Take this love from me I'm not scared.

I hate it there, God I hate it there.
After the excitement it's lonely,
God is lonely here.
Where do we go
When we don't wanna get drunk no more?
The pills just don't work no more.
The **** just well...don't excite me  no more it's lonely.
God is lonely here.
Now you know where I am...
Father forgive me and I repent,
But tell me
Tell me
Where .....?!
where  do We go from here?

I take one in the morning,
I take one at night.
Pop one, I pop twice
Poppin memories all night.
Can't move I can't feel
I think once then think twice.
Pop thoughts like "who am I"?
"Where I am? "
"That's a lot !"
*** pills for one guy,
Drinking  as it goes down
I'm so down foreal...

Dang I drop my freakin  pills,
eyes blurred so I lay still....so still
Who am I?
Where am I?
Dang I like these pills

I don't know what to say...

I really don't

You know how being in the middle of something is worse then being on the wrong side...
I fall on my knees every night
Every single night!
This is a poem , but this is my life
God... Jesus.... Christ! Forgive me for being that type of guy....
Who masterbates, goes for seconds, drinks twice, read little, talk right, I'm foreal these things I do despise.

What do you want me to say!
I've seen guys kiss girls ,girls  kiss guys guys on guys girls love the way she bites.
It's nasty deguisting I know right!

Then why???!!!! How did I not see this coming
I have a girl but she's in another country.

God this is not easy to deny yourself and be sacred gentle holy and light.
When you were born a sinner and coming away into your marvelous light.

LOOK You don't have to love this like this or even comment and write.
I just needed to talk to someone anybody who's listening
Your my friend.....
Right?

I wanna go where I never been before,
Typing I'm letting go, words come to post.
Soaking in antidote
Creating no fantasy maybe there dead to me, I know...
Devil just let him be, I know
That will not ever be, I know.
Oh I know
Ooo


Where my angel at? Cause thats the only thing that's fighting back.
Resist him ,submit yaweh..
Sexually  I'm pulling  I'm  tugging all brakes...
This will be the last I'm sorry no space.
This will be his past the earth just fades
Invisible cast, cause there so great!
Becoming that cast and it feels so great..

What a place this will be
What a place this will be
What a..........
What a......
Hold up man just think.

The whole world is money,
Laughing but it ain't that funny.
Burned ashes  now dummy...what are you gone buy huh?
God sweeping time up!
Lebron don't trust his own line up,
2012 flew by us, what is next will just take us.
This is the place that They show you,
But what about the one I'm tryna show you?
Message me if u dot get it...but what a place without pennies!
Hold up man just think..

They spit and they mock me and they curse my name.
If this cup can pass from me but not My will your will reign.
There speech is against on this wood my flesh hangs.
.......ABBA! ABBA! Why have you forsaken me?
Counting all my bones, blood drips from my brain
Unique wipes for the Romans who curses my name.
But holy is the Father, I will comeback in three days.

It's hard to tale
I'm the best when it **** to myself
She's loose change, he's my nickle
Hold me, As I lick how  he felt.
I mean I  liked how she melts.
I'm confused in this bed full of helps
I can't leave without my belt,
My dignity won't stay up without me.
Curious George they say I was a monkey
I like to see my piece like a wild beast
If I don't cage it the humans won't let me be...
Hello to the new generation, bye ****** is what I'm trying in me.
Don't grip it no more you don't have take a peek
I lived in chaos all my life now I'm dead in peace! Amen.... It means so be it.

The great fall let it reign.
enemies fall let it reign.
Justice has been taken let it reign.
This is the great falling away,
Millions designed there fate let it reign.
Others rest in a open gate let it reign.
Stepping into flames even there let it reign.
This is the great falling away.
Here to proclaim my sisters my brothers my friends will all here the sound reign.
The drops on all, the drip of all generations amazed.
Absolute power will dance around a king.
He is coming , forever will be the place.

He rise as this day in me speaking let it reign.
To you in this place this the end of the Great fall away.
A storm is coming and yes it will reign

I know you usually talk but let me speak.
  Know you usually wanna be the better me.      You usually say something  but my ears are are weak.
Usually cause we argue bout the same old thing.
Talk about what? Your just gunna cut me off and then let me be.
But whatever here I am in hell and there you go burning me.
You can be  my angel you know... If you shut up and let me speak!
Man it hurts to know that I been looking at this mirror .... Speaking bout me

It's hard to conceive perfection ..... Get it?
Listen I'm a intimate guy I hope you notice by my secrets.
Just to lay down with this kind you have to be blameless.
As if you were a...a.....a ******
But oh can I tell you when I saw that it had no limits !
It was like ummm it was like I was French kissing Greatness.
Oh and the tough was in excellence!
Why do we say no ones perfect? When numbers can count themselves to infinty and above that?!
Probably cause we know the lines of our insecurities and we rehearsed it.....
Not pointing the finger, how can I ? When I'm using everything I got to witness another in encounter with perfection..
That will be my melody,
You can rehearse your lines there calling there playing your music.
Or you can fall into my words and ohh it's okay to get erected
For we we will be in love with perfection.

Regretful tears on tissues,
As I watched all my issues...grow.
Was it lust when I kissed you or was it hurt when you pulled back...ouch.
When the thoughts sprinkled in, your name was in my head.
This nonsense... I promised
You wouldn't tell I didn't tell. So foolish!
Your zipper down my button fell. These secrets
Oh these secrets....

Soft hair on my sheets,
Closed eyes with smooth feet.
My hands stroke in gladness, my heart singing deceit.
Now the thoughts flooding in,
Your laying on my chest.
My conscience.......what's nonsense?
You wouldn't tell I didn't tell. So foolish!
My problem now, I have to tell. These secrets
Oh these secrets.....
Can you keep a secret?

Remember the pain, never forgetting the pleasure.
Should he do it again.. I mean the needles already in him.
Heat the thoughts up, his hands are not gentle.
Satisfied by fantasy, some would call it abominable.
Judgement is calamity, darkness watch in a peep hole.
Vains pop out the floor is so comfortable.
No longer here me and lust is identical.
I *** no **** but this is so cereal.
He's a murderer as he's killing his children
.......he stops and looks around and says "Man what am I doing"?
The spirit was right I have the wrong intentions.
Left hand was drenched as the tears started Rollin.
He's back and there ain't nobody to help him,
He laughs just to stop the crying.
Rehab... rehab.... That's all he's givin
Cleaning the mess as he notice the needles ....I mean it's already in him.